Maybe this is because of where I am from, but I'm still confused as to where this is coming from. I don't know of any person who honestly thinks that you need to drink in order to be friends with them
It probably has a lot less to do with where you are and a lot more to do with the fact that you drink. People are not going to give you shit for not drinking if that's not the case. I sincerely doubt it doesnt happen over there. It's also not an issue of people who drink not being willing to be friends with poeple who dont. It's an issue of giving them shit for it. There's a large difference. You're own friends can give you shit for it. I don't like it when people assume that I think I'm on a moral highground for not drinking, I don't ike it when people tell me to loosen up when they find out i dont drink, I don't like it when people shove alcohol in my face sarcastically offering me a drink and laughing like its the most hilarious thing when the punch line "oh wait... i forgot, STRAIGHT EDGE!!" comes along. I find it amusing however when people find out i am straight edge and automatically get defensive as though I am judging them, when in fact the only thing that has happened is that they found out i dont drink and they feel like they need to defend their lifestyle. If you're so comfortable with your decisions, why do you feel the need to explain and defend them to me?
I had something interesting pointed out to me recently. I hear a lot of people who drink explain why it's ok, but I rarely hear people who don't defending their decisions.
just a thought.
*obligatory PC ps* I also agree that people should make their own decisions, as I am straight edge for myself. It involves some "moral" reasons i suppose, but i am mainly straight edge because i know my genes, and i know substance experimentation is not a good idea for me. The values came more as a result of the lifestyle, then the lifestyle from the values. I could care less what anyone else does. I may think it's a bad idea to use drugs simply because of what i know about drugs and what I have seen result from them, but altimately it is everyone's own decision. I know drinking responsibly is possible (though if you ask me, drinking to get drunk is not responsible).
A lot of interesting points. The idea of values coming as a result of the lifestyle makes a lot of sense after thinking about it.
I think that there is a difference between what people say and what people generally feel. And I also do think there are two sides to it. I have friends here who tell me I drink too much and I need to moderate myself, and while I think they're being annoying, I take solace in the fact that they are looking out for me. Likewise, I think that the intention of your friends is not to make you uncomfortable, but rather to try to get you to have a good time, even if what they say is misguided. It's when a friend really does want to make you feel uncomfortable that you should be careful. I am very honest with my friends who say I do drink too much. I tell them that I appreciate their concern, but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable that they're constantly ramming a "don't drink" attitude down my throat. And this does work the opposite way. I'm sure you've told your friends that it makes you uncomfortable that they're joking about you being straightedge, and it is the true friends who will tell you that you being straightedge is fine and they are sorry for their actions. 9 times out of 10, the person will apologize and say that they didn't mean it that way, but sometimes, there are people who won't. I feel like this is a good way to figure out who really cares about you and who doesn't, and it definetly works both ways.
with all of the talk of trust in your friends, i beg you to take their concern into account. They are looking out for your health, it doesnt matter if you find it annoying. You said yourself they are not telling you not to drink, they are telling you to moderate it. Please, at least step back and think about your drinking habbits if your friends are concerned.
I appreciate your concern, but, to be completely honest, I feel like you are making me sound like some sort of alcoholic and I am not. I have not puked once since I got here. They have not had to call the ambulance on me once. I don't go to desperate measures just to drink on a Monday. If I am doing those things, its the proper time to tell me to heed my friends' concerns. Moderation is an ongoing struggle, and sometimes the best way to learn is through experience, and not through anyone telling you, at least at this point.
I understand where you are coming from, but I feel like you need to know more about the nature of the situation before you tell me something like that. Otherwise, all you are going to do is make your friends mad and add to this polarization.
i'm going to have to agree with tina...just because you haven't puked doesn't mean that you never will...or maybe you just didn't puke but still had an excessive amount of alcohol. look at it this way....your friends probably don't mean to be assholes, and if they're speaking up about the issue, then they think that it is an issue. just be careful.
It probably has a lot less to do with where you are and a lot more to do with the fact that you drink. People are not going to give you shit for not drinking if that's not the case. I sincerely doubt it doesnt happen over there. It's also not an issue of people who drink not being willing to be friends with poeple who dont. It's an issue of giving them shit for it. There's a large difference. You're own friends can give you shit for it. I don't like it when people assume that I think I'm on a moral highground for not drinking, I don't ike it when people tell me to loosen up when they find out i dont drink, I don't like it when people shove alcohol in my face sarcastically offering me a drink and laughing like its the most hilarious thing when the punch line "oh wait... i forgot, STRAIGHT EDGE!!" comes along. I find it amusing however when people find out i am straight edge and automatically get defensive as though I am judging them, when in fact the only thing that has happened is that they found out i dont drink and they feel like they need to defend their lifestyle.
If you're so comfortable with your decisions, why do you feel the need to explain and defend them to me?
I had something interesting pointed out to me recently. I hear a lot of people who drink explain why it's ok, but I rarely hear people who don't defending their decisions.
just a thought.
*obligatory PC ps*
I also agree that people should make their own decisions, as I am straight edge for myself. It involves some "moral" reasons i suppose, but i am mainly straight edge because i know my genes, and i know substance experimentation is not a good idea for me. The values came more as a result of the lifestyle, then the lifestyle from the values. I could care less what anyone else does. I may think it's a bad idea to use drugs simply because of what i know about drugs and what I have seen result from them, but altimately it is everyone's own decision. I know drinking responsibly is possible (though if you ask me, drinking to get drunk is not responsible).
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I think that there is a difference between what people say and what people generally feel. And I also do think there are two sides to it. I have friends here who tell me I drink too much and I need to moderate myself, and while I think they're being annoying, I take solace in the fact that they are looking out for me. Likewise, I think that the intention of your friends is not to make you uncomfortable, but rather to try to get you to have a good time, even if what they say is misguided. It's when a friend really does want to make you feel uncomfortable that you should be careful. I am very honest with my friends who say I do drink too much. I tell them that I appreciate their concern, but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable that they're constantly ramming a "don't drink" attitude down my throat. And this does work the opposite way. I'm sure you've told your friends that it makes you uncomfortable that they're joking about you being straightedge, and it is the true friends who will tell you that you being straightedge is fine and they are sorry for their actions. 9 times out of 10, the person will apologize and say that they didn't mean it that way, but sometimes, there are people who won't. I feel like this is a good way to figure out who really cares about you and who doesn't, and it definetly works both ways.
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I understand where you are coming from, but I feel like you need to know more about the nature of the situation before you tell me something like that. Otherwise, all you are going to do is make your friends mad and add to this polarization.
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