(no subject)
Its been a while since I've sat down at a computer and let my thoughts flow.... Lets see...Something I've been testing latly is to try and stop having expectations of any new situation.... Just another activity to potentially aid me in becoming a more peaceful individual.... Excersising this, I will ideally be able to appreciate whatever does come into my path.... I'm trying to break my common perceptions of things.... Not to hinder myself from any chance, or activity, or thing, or person.... Why should I limit the possibilities of my life just because of a certian conception I have about it? I'm stopping not to anaylze, or discect... Life is a contiuous motion, and now I live within that motion... Life isn't stopping to consider why it goes, or what its next action might cause, it just goes.... Its an innate idea or morality, of instinct that forces us on. Sometimes its interrupted by discetion... My mind is exhausted with theorizing about my life. I'd rather see, and live what I know. I feel comfortable enough in my own skin to do what I feel at any given moment, thats one of the greatest freedoms I've experienced in my 20 years of life. To be able to understand oneself, and ones motives, and then understand how silly they can be, helps us not take ourselves so seriously, and in turn, realize we're all in the same boat. I haven't really gained any new confidence in myself,its more just an understanding that perceptions don't matter, and only hinder... So, it therefore gives me comfort in situations dealing with people. I'm stepping on a path to some sort of comfortability that is unique to myself. I love seeing how other people are growing, and what gives them understanding... Expecially if its radically different from how I percieve things.....
There is probably no set answer... and even if there were an answer, it would deplete any growth, it would only do the opposite of what we expect... It would breed stagnation. Utopia is a myth. Its only plausible in the co-exsistence of chaos and war. The only way we realize we are real is to see something that we refect off of. Reflection is caused by opposition... This is why I think its silly that any sort of God character would try and defeat evil, Because, in the absence of Evil, God does not exsist. Its an intricate balancing act, the universe. I remember from my mescaline experience seeing the beauty in that opposition.... I felt all distractions had finally been silenced, and everything was seen, accepted, and understood... Even those things that I loathed had their place. I no longer hated them for I didn't harbor the ignorance to hate. I had the sence of acceptance that allowed me to see the beauty in everythings place... All the little relationships that made up this beautiful consistent mess... Regardless, Whatever I may think now could be totally and completly wrong... Learning isn't always about gathering factual information, It can be about testing your own ideas, and limits, and seeing what comes of that testing. I've been learning to go with the grain, not force. Whenever I try and force any outcome, it is always coupled with anxiety, or dissapointment. We can just learn little tricks to help us understand that its all very simple, and natural... And in the end, there probably isn't any answer we'd expect, its just a matter of accepting to see whats around us.
I guess thats it for now...
There is probably no set answer... and even if there were an answer, it would deplete any growth, it would only do the opposite of what we expect... It would breed stagnation. Utopia is a myth. Its only plausible in the co-exsistence of chaos and war. The only way we realize we are real is to see something that we refect off of. Reflection is caused by opposition... This is why I think its silly that any sort of God character would try and defeat evil, Because, in the absence of Evil, God does not exsist. Its an intricate balancing act, the universe. I remember from my mescaline experience seeing the beauty in that opposition.... I felt all distractions had finally been silenced, and everything was seen, accepted, and understood... Even those things that I loathed had their place. I no longer hated them for I didn't harbor the ignorance to hate. I had the sence of acceptance that allowed me to see the beauty in everythings place... All the little relationships that made up this beautiful consistent mess... Regardless, Whatever I may think now could be totally and completly wrong... Learning isn't always about gathering factual information, It can be about testing your own ideas, and limits, and seeing what comes of that testing. I've been learning to go with the grain, not force. Whenever I try and force any outcome, it is always coupled with anxiety, or dissapointment. We can just learn little tricks to help us understand that its all very simple, and natural... And in the end, there probably isn't any answer we'd expect, its just a matter of accepting to see whats around us.
I guess thats it for now...