Stuck in the middle.
I let myself get down today because of other people's problems. I like being everyone's friend, but defending them to their current "enemies" is getting old. If we all could just put aside our judgments and preconceived generalizations about other people, we'd really all be happier. I'm collecting secrets now, and they're getting heavy. If you know me, I don't keep many secrets... I like it all out in the open. As long as I deal with mature people, secrecy is unnecessary. It's just that one friend tells me the "really stupid thing" that another of my friends did and then later on, they switch places and I'm stuck in the middle of a high school shit talking party. I keep thinking that if both people like me, and I like both people, why can't we all just get along?? We've got to have something in common. In the position of verbal trash dumpster, I start to see the negative in people that I really like and that doesn't sit well in my stomach. I just didn't have the energy to put the extra stretch in my smile, and the customers even noticed!
Speaking of work, it's my favorite again. I'm glad that Biff flaked on me about working there again because my promotion starts next week and not only am I getting almost twice the hours, but I'm getting a nice little raise too. Also, I've made my peace with Iah; he's not so bad. He's just a Starbucks partner gone management, who has found out that he hates it. I was a little startled when he confessed this to me, but it also gave me a feeling like he respects me enough to tell me of such a defeat. He accompanied me to the Partner of the Quarter dinner last night, and I think the fact that neither of us really knew anyone else there kind of forced us to bond a little. I can see things a little better from his perspective now, and I believe that he sincerely wants me "to be happy at Starbucks." That's what he said. I guess I'll have to buy new shirts that I can actually tuck in and cover up my nose piercing, but whatever. It's just appearances. He's been really supportive of me.
At the recent heightened fear of skin cancer all around me, I've accepted that maybe it's not the smartest thing to get super dark again this summer, and to not be bummed that I won't spend most of it at the beach. Although cancer is how I want to go, I'm not ready just yet. I really enjoyed Tuesdays With Morrie. I think I cried a little bit. If you've ever known anyone who died of or went through cancer, it'll get to ya.
I've been going to the gym every day since school's been out. It's only been 8 days, but that more days in a row than ever in my life. I can go right to sleep when I get home now which is awesome, but on the other hand, I'm always hungry. I guess it'll work out that I'm working a lot now because that'll keep me from eating too much.
I'm coming close to deciding not to drink anymore. A) I don't like the tast of alcohol whatsoever, B) It's kind of difficult for me to get drunk and C) It costs money I don't have. Also, I don't need liquor to be happy! I've got all the happy I need in me! Lately, I've been getting happies from the sun... my mood is directly correlated to how sunny it is, and today was kind of overcast. I've become a plant. 8) Maybe a plant with a pretty pink flower.
And that's it for now.
*** Update 10:56 pm- I got straight A's!!!!!!!
Speaking of work, it's my favorite again. I'm glad that Biff flaked on me about working there again because my promotion starts next week and not only am I getting almost twice the hours, but I'm getting a nice little raise too. Also, I've made my peace with Iah; he's not so bad. He's just a Starbucks partner gone management, who has found out that he hates it. I was a little startled when he confessed this to me, but it also gave me a feeling like he respects me enough to tell me of such a defeat. He accompanied me to the Partner of the Quarter dinner last night, and I think the fact that neither of us really knew anyone else there kind of forced us to bond a little. I can see things a little better from his perspective now, and I believe that he sincerely wants me "to be happy at Starbucks." That's what he said. I guess I'll have to buy new shirts that I can actually tuck in and cover up my nose piercing, but whatever. It's just appearances. He's been really supportive of me.
At the recent heightened fear of skin cancer all around me, I've accepted that maybe it's not the smartest thing to get super dark again this summer, and to not be bummed that I won't spend most of it at the beach. Although cancer is how I want to go, I'm not ready just yet. I really enjoyed Tuesdays With Morrie. I think I cried a little bit. If you've ever known anyone who died of or went through cancer, it'll get to ya.
I've been going to the gym every day since school's been out. It's only been 8 days, but that more days in a row than ever in my life. I can go right to sleep when I get home now which is awesome, but on the other hand, I'm always hungry. I guess it'll work out that I'm working a lot now because that'll keep me from eating too much.
I'm coming close to deciding not to drink anymore. A) I don't like the tast of alcohol whatsoever, B) It's kind of difficult for me to get drunk and C) It costs money I don't have. Also, I don't need liquor to be happy! I've got all the happy I need in me! Lately, I've been getting happies from the sun... my mood is directly correlated to how sunny it is, and today was kind of overcast. I've become a plant. 8) Maybe a plant with a pretty pink flower.
And that's it for now.
*** Update 10:56 pm- I got straight A's!!!!!!!