Vinny Vinny Vinny.....Vinny
ive been dishing out advice a lot lately. It really harkens back to the days of being in school with matt, erick and ian. When everyone who had an issue came to me. The funny thing is, no one is coming to me directly, nor am i seeking out people. It's just casual conversation or simply catching up on lost time. I find myself giving out advice i wish i could listen to. Then again, ive never been able to advise myself like i advise my friends. It's a comfortable position to be in though. Feels right. Feels like home. The joy of helping someone by listening when they vent or showing them things about themselves they dont see or are told about. Finding solutions or just making them smile, cause they haven't in a hot minute. But i can't do that for myself for whatever reason. Maybe i dont really have any issues. I keep talking about the same stuff with different people and then refering back to it with different people at later times. I have my closure. I just can't seem to find anything else wrong. Maybe i dont have closure. Maybe im trying to just say it enough so that i'll believe it. It's worked before. I dunno.
But ive been giving some really good advice i feel. haha. It's coming out naturally and im not pushing anyones agenda. Im simply relating to my friend who is troubled and then dishing out my opinion. I never tell anyone to do anything, i just suggest things they may want to look into, since im a 3rd party and dont have any ties to the problem or feelings. Sometimes im wrong. But im right a lot. Which is comforting. I guess.
Ive got more choices than i expected. I have no direction though. A huge lack of that. But ive got options i guess. I feel good. Health wise. No real nagging injuries, cept my ankle being sore. My weight is staying down and i look good. Im just lonely. And im lost. But i'll be fine. I think.
People come and go in our lives. And we can choose to hold on or we can choose to let them go. Sometimes they make the decision for you and it plays out in a way that makes it easier to live with them or live without them. It's not gonna be easy. And as much as i want to say it'll never be what it was, i can't say that. Cause i never imagined it would be like it is now. Jack was right. Im to certain with things at times. I live with an arrogant black and white ideal of either your with me or against me, my way or the highway, like im fucking entitled to it cause im a nice guy and i go out of my way to help people. Well, you know something, he's fucking right. I can't cut people out cause they wrong me. That's gonna happen. But the irony of the situation is, i cut the person out that deserved to be. And i know for a fact...we'll revisit it all again sometime down the line. And im scared. Cause i hate this feeling of being empty, but it's a hell of lot better than what was given to me before. Im in a good place right now. I know.
Heres to losing 35 more pounds and feeling good about who i am...cause when that times comes to revisit...well, im not perfect..nor do i claim to be...but, i'll make sure to be looking pretty damn good the next time we talk face to face. You can be damn sure about that. Damn straight.
:)
But ive been giving some really good advice i feel. haha. It's coming out naturally and im not pushing anyones agenda. Im simply relating to my friend who is troubled and then dishing out my opinion. I never tell anyone to do anything, i just suggest things they may want to look into, since im a 3rd party and dont have any ties to the problem or feelings. Sometimes im wrong. But im right a lot. Which is comforting. I guess.
Ive got more choices than i expected. I have no direction though. A huge lack of that. But ive got options i guess. I feel good. Health wise. No real nagging injuries, cept my ankle being sore. My weight is staying down and i look good. Im just lonely. And im lost. But i'll be fine. I think.
People come and go in our lives. And we can choose to hold on or we can choose to let them go. Sometimes they make the decision for you and it plays out in a way that makes it easier to live with them or live without them. It's not gonna be easy. And as much as i want to say it'll never be what it was, i can't say that. Cause i never imagined it would be like it is now. Jack was right. Im to certain with things at times. I live with an arrogant black and white ideal of either your with me or against me, my way or the highway, like im fucking entitled to it cause im a nice guy and i go out of my way to help people. Well, you know something, he's fucking right. I can't cut people out cause they wrong me. That's gonna happen. But the irony of the situation is, i cut the person out that deserved to be. And i know for a fact...we'll revisit it all again sometime down the line. And im scared. Cause i hate this feeling of being empty, but it's a hell of lot better than what was given to me before. Im in a good place right now. I know.
Heres to losing 35 more pounds and feeling good about who i am...cause when that times comes to revisit...well, im not perfect..nor do i claim to be...but, i'll make sure to be looking pretty damn good the next time we talk face to face. You can be damn sure about that. Damn straight.
:)