I took the high road...it's why i feel so low: My Love Manifesto
i dont think there is quite an experience as falling in love. Roller coasters, deep dish pizza, a flying forearm to the face or even a beautiful one timer from the point that scores.....pale in comparison. Falling in love is so much more than feeling. It's commitment to well being, it's respect of another person so deep, it's the want, the need and the selflessness of sacrifice that can and will define a person from the bottoms of their toes to the top of their heads...it burns, it devours and it ignites. Love isn't perfect, love isn't forever. But that's what makes it so delicate. It's what makes it, precious. It's what makes it worth fighting for, worth crying over and worth giving up selfish pride for. So many stages of love. So many ways to make it feel perfect when you know its not and ironically that's what makes it perfect. Perfection with love is in imperfection. I've learned that first hand, i've seen it second hand. Love is what defines relationships and if that is the truth that the foundation of the definition is respect, communication and sex. Everything else falls into place if you have those three things. Respect the person you love, trust them enough to talk it out and fuck like champs. I know it's crude, but it's the truth.
Heartbreak, however, is loves side effect. If love is a cure all drug, heartbreak is the anal leakage. It's the by product of personal enjoyment and happiness. It can overwhelm in ways that wouldn't be imagined. Heartbreak, the anal leakage of love. Ahh, how poetic.
You get heartbreak if you dont respect your loved one enough. This can include cheating on them, verbal and physical abuse, neglect and bitterness. You get heartbreak if you don't communicate. If you can't talk out your issues, your fears, your true desires, then it's obvious you dont respect the person enough and it's going to fail. Communication isn't about honesty, it's about talking. If you're significant other can handle the bold cold hearted truth, then do so. If they can't, shine it up and repackage it. There is nothing wrong with repackaging, some things are just tough to talk about. The key here is, talk them out. Don't let those feelings of doubt or mistrust build up. Talk them out, be open and honest but use some touch to it. You get heartbreak if the sex is gone. If the physical aspect dies, the relationship dies with it. Physical expression is at the core of what every human being is. It's in our body language, it's in our movement, it's in our most animalistic desires. Without that chemistry, the relationship will not and can not work. Passion is every bit as physical as it is verbal and emotional. If you can't get down in the bed room, you might as well step aside.
Don't dwell on the bad times. Cherish the good times. It's hard, it's hard not to be bitter, but accepting that heartbreak comes with love, is the first step in understanding that what was had was special and it was real. It's being able to get up the next day and not feel like the world has let you down again. Don't hate it for what's it wasn't, love it for what it was.
Take the high road. Don't be a baby. Don't piss and moan. The people around you will see it and sense it. They'll try to be there for you, but the more you worry, the more you complain, the more they will resent you and start feeling sorry for you. Don't let that happen. The only reason they feel sorry for you, is because you feel sorry for yourself. Taking the high road, proves to yourself that you are capable of being more than just a bitter ex. It shows you cared. It shows that, at the end of the day, you still want that person to be happy. And if they are, let them be. Don't ruin it by being petty and selfish. Taking the high road is admitting that it may be uncomfortable at first, but that you really wish them the best of luck and hope they get everything they want out of it. It's being able to say " im happy for you " and meaning it. It's about closure and growing up. It's not easy, and it will make you feel like shit, but eventually, it will show those people around you how much inner strength you have. How much resolve you have. Show them your own ability to take whatever life throws at you and you keep on moving. And maybe you can, inspire those for whom you care so deeply for, to do the same and be everything you know they can be and get all those happy things you know they deserve. Maybe you can show them with your own inner strength that it's possible to face life's challenges and come out a better person because of it.
I took the high road this time. It's what i should have done in March. I may feel a bit low, but i know i meant it when i said i was happy for her. I wish id have done the same with the other. No use crying over spilled milk now.
Im still lonely. Still figuring out what it is im meant to really do. Dealing with my superhero complex and my apparent " I wrote the book on being the good guy " deal. But i can sleep at night...knowing they're both happy.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words. Stick to my advice folks, and you'll live happily...well, happier.
::sigh:: It doesn't get any easier, does it?
Heartbreak, however, is loves side effect. If love is a cure all drug, heartbreak is the anal leakage. It's the by product of personal enjoyment and happiness. It can overwhelm in ways that wouldn't be imagined. Heartbreak, the anal leakage of love. Ahh, how poetic.
You get heartbreak if you dont respect your loved one enough. This can include cheating on them, verbal and physical abuse, neglect and bitterness. You get heartbreak if you don't communicate. If you can't talk out your issues, your fears, your true desires, then it's obvious you dont respect the person enough and it's going to fail. Communication isn't about honesty, it's about talking. If you're significant other can handle the bold cold hearted truth, then do so. If they can't, shine it up and repackage it. There is nothing wrong with repackaging, some things are just tough to talk about. The key here is, talk them out. Don't let those feelings of doubt or mistrust build up. Talk them out, be open and honest but use some touch to it. You get heartbreak if the sex is gone. If the physical aspect dies, the relationship dies with it. Physical expression is at the core of what every human being is. It's in our body language, it's in our movement, it's in our most animalistic desires. Without that chemistry, the relationship will not and can not work. Passion is every bit as physical as it is verbal and emotional. If you can't get down in the bed room, you might as well step aside.
Don't dwell on the bad times. Cherish the good times. It's hard, it's hard not to be bitter, but accepting that heartbreak comes with love, is the first step in understanding that what was had was special and it was real. It's being able to get up the next day and not feel like the world has let you down again. Don't hate it for what's it wasn't, love it for what it was.
Take the high road. Don't be a baby. Don't piss and moan. The people around you will see it and sense it. They'll try to be there for you, but the more you worry, the more you complain, the more they will resent you and start feeling sorry for you. Don't let that happen. The only reason they feel sorry for you, is because you feel sorry for yourself. Taking the high road, proves to yourself that you are capable of being more than just a bitter ex. It shows you cared. It shows that, at the end of the day, you still want that person to be happy. And if they are, let them be. Don't ruin it by being petty and selfish. Taking the high road is admitting that it may be uncomfortable at first, but that you really wish them the best of luck and hope they get everything they want out of it. It's being able to say " im happy for you " and meaning it. It's about closure and growing up. It's not easy, and it will make you feel like shit, but eventually, it will show those people around you how much inner strength you have. How much resolve you have. Show them your own ability to take whatever life throws at you and you keep on moving. And maybe you can, inspire those for whom you care so deeply for, to do the same and be everything you know they can be and get all those happy things you know they deserve. Maybe you can show them with your own inner strength that it's possible to face life's challenges and come out a better person because of it.
I took the high road this time. It's what i should have done in March. I may feel a bit low, but i know i meant it when i said i was happy for her. I wish id have done the same with the other. No use crying over spilled milk now.
Im still lonely. Still figuring out what it is im meant to really do. Dealing with my superhero complex and my apparent " I wrote the book on being the good guy " deal. But i can sleep at night...knowing they're both happy.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words. Stick to my advice folks, and you'll live happily...well, happier.
::sigh:: It doesn't get any easier, does it?