texas range walker
i found this somewhere, its glorious.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only
a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has
not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you
know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured
this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever
saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for
handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot
belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park
there.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only
a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has
not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you
know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured
this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever
saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for
handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot
belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park
there.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.