I feel ___ because why?
Jupiter is a wonderful planet to have in your twelfth house. We like to call it the Guardian Angel transit because he sits quietly in your life bringing benevolent things to you in an almost invisible way. This is a great time to seek spiritual people and studies to explore as Jupiter opens your subconscious mind, making dreams more inspiring than usual.
This is how I felt yesterday. I can't begin to explain it, but it was like... a magical circle. I felt the angel fall off the shelf again. I saw signs everywhere, almost every word I heard had an inspiring significance and meaning. I felt open and happy, perhaps the happiest I've ever been. Happy, because I felt no fear, I've been making progress and have been handling things.
Not the case now. Today, I'm hiding, and disregarding all that progress. I feel ashamed, afraid, embarrassed, sad, and lonely, which can equal panic attacks. Why? I'm trying to figure it out.
I've begun to show myself to these people. I've seen parts of their souls, and they've seen more of me than almost anyone. It scares me and I want it. I need it. I even started developing an odd crush on a guy in my class... well, a few of them actually, but there is this one... Could be because I have to kiss him, and see a cute, dorky but attractive side of him in our scene. I could be reflecting myself in him, projecting the feelings I want to feel for someone else, whatever. But there are feelings, in my heart, getting mixed up in my head.
Today was not my best day in class. I needed to go hide in the corner, in fact, I did. My heart wanted to let everything go and be out in the open, but my head wouldn't have that. I was afraid of every eye that was on me. With some help from my wonderful teacher and classmates, I did it. I don't know why I let that cloud of doubt and fear cover me, but they did their best to reach through it... and so I let them pull me out. And I still feel the pull, like gravity.
Like the moon around the earth, the earth around the sun... The sun around what-- the galaxy? Yeah.
I'm sad because I might never be friends with them, not really. This part of the journey is passing by so quickly and afterwards we're going to go our separate ways, just how it always goes.
And the galaxies just floating around in space... alone.
This is how I felt yesterday. I can't begin to explain it, but it was like... a magical circle. I felt the angel fall off the shelf again. I saw signs everywhere, almost every word I heard had an inspiring significance and meaning. I felt open and happy, perhaps the happiest I've ever been. Happy, because I felt no fear, I've been making progress and have been handling things.
Not the case now. Today, I'm hiding, and disregarding all that progress. I feel ashamed, afraid, embarrassed, sad, and lonely, which can equal panic attacks. Why? I'm trying to figure it out.
I've begun to show myself to these people. I've seen parts of their souls, and they've seen more of me than almost anyone. It scares me and I want it. I need it. I even started developing an odd crush on a guy in my class... well, a few of them actually, but there is this one... Could be because I have to kiss him, and see a cute, dorky but attractive side of him in our scene. I could be reflecting myself in him, projecting the feelings I want to feel for someone else, whatever. But there are feelings, in my heart, getting mixed up in my head.
Today was not my best day in class. I needed to go hide in the corner, in fact, I did. My heart wanted to let everything go and be out in the open, but my head wouldn't have that. I was afraid of every eye that was on me. With some help from my wonderful teacher and classmates, I did it. I don't know why I let that cloud of doubt and fear cover me, but they did their best to reach through it... and so I let them pull me out. And I still feel the pull, like gravity.
Like the moon around the earth, the earth around the sun... The sun around what-- the galaxy? Yeah.
I'm sad because I might never be friends with them, not really. This part of the journey is passing by so quickly and afterwards we're going to go our separate ways, just how it always goes.
And the galaxies just floating around in space... alone.