15 part iii
“To my love, and my everything.”
“Don’t let go of this hand.”
“Our bond of that time and place will never disappear.”
“To my JinJin, with love and kisses, Kazu-chan.”
He gripped the paper he was holding.
And tears escaped his eyes.
Tears he didn’t know he was holding.
He threw the paper behind him, not caring with what’s going to happen with it.
Seeing all the papers on the table, he brushed them off, throwing everything on the floor, along with the albums, cds, and dvds.
“FUCK FUCK FUCK!”
He hissed and hit himself on the head.
The teen let out a frustrated scream.
And took a deep shaky breath as he wiped his tears away.
Leaning on the couch, he took a paper that was thrown the nearest to him.
Kazuya e,
Dearest Kazu...
How are you, kazu? Yeah, once again I am back to my cowardness by writing you a letter. Well, it's not like I'm going to send this to you anyway. When I found out she was pregnant... I stayed rooted to the ground. The happy memories we shared together flashed through my eyes. And as if I was watching them on TV, I saw the screen cracked and broke to millions of pieces. But! I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Kazu! I'm completely fine.
Hayato turned the paper around.
That's a lie.
Truth is... i'm scared.
I don't have the least confidence.
I'm lonely, Kazu.
Kazuya, Suki.
Aishiteru...
Jin.
“It’s over, right…?”
He said softly.
“Kazuya…”
Opening his cell phone, he smiled at the picture of his lover giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“You and… Jin-san…”
“That these are just the past.”
“And that… you moved on.”
He sighed again, and gathered all the scattered papers on the floor.
Thankful that none of the papers were ripped, nor crumpled.
It’s bad enough he stole them, and if his aunty saw they weren’t in their original condition, he’d feel bad.
“KAT-TUN…”
He picked up one of the CD.
“CARTOON KAT-TUN II YOU.”
“Why are the five of you here?”
He frowned, finger trailing on the cover.
He placed it back on the pile of CDs, and took one from the DVD pile.
“Well, might as well watch it.”
He sighed as he placed one of the DVDs from the box into the player.
“Where did those idiots gone to?”
He mumbled and went off to the kitchen.
The TV showed images of rowdy teenage boys in their classrooms.
Some were ranting off, babbling about something.
One guy happily munch away as he half listens to his class mates.
The group in the back were throwing their fists in the air, as if they were shouting in victory.
One of them was jumping around, looking elated.
And one is fanning himself with a white paper fan.
And one teen sat there, looking at his comrades, chuckling.
One can tell by just a glance that he’s the leader of the “clan”.
Their teacher was asking about the recent fights.
And the group in the back admitted it, pointing up to her, and declared their victory.
She was lecturing them that fighting isn’t necessary to prove one’s strength, and plus they might get expelled.
One of them smirked, and spoke out his mind.
“We can’t fight if we are afraid of getting expelled, can we?”
He scoffed.
“Well, it’s different for some coward over there.”
The red head sitting on the front looked back at him.
The one sitting on the back immediately eyed him back, and his eyes turned to slits.
The red head looked somewhat vulnerable, and the other clearly showed his hatred towards him.
The class went quite.
The teacher chuckled, telling him his logic is silly.
And that she stood her ground on what she said earlier.
….
Hayato went off to the kitchen, and took out a bottle of water.
He took out his cell phone and dial the number he knew by heart.
A genuine smile crossed his lips, but soon turned to frown when the other didn’t answer, and went straight into his voice mail.
He sighed.
“Kazuya-san…”
He leaned on to the fridge, and sighed again.
“I miss you.”
“I’m coming home tomorrow and… if you’re not busy, can you go to La, and we’ll meet there?”
“I hope you slept well, baby.”
“I love you.”
He shut the phone and slipped it back to his pocket.
Well of course, his lover is probably off to dreamland by now.
It’s late after all.
Then his cell went off again.
Nick.
Picking it up, he told the blonde what he’d like for dinner.
He glanced at the TV from the kitchen.
Same group of rowdy teens, delinquents, being…
Well, being loud, and seemed like they’re beating someone up.
“Old movies…”
He mumbled.
“Oh, no, that was the TV.”
He told his friend on the other line.
“Yeah, why not.”
He sighed, opening the fridge again.
“Whatever, anything’s fine.”
He scanned the small bottles of liquors.
Suddenly have the urge of drinking them.
Maybe it’ll wash his sadness away for now, since his baby isn’t here next to him.
He heard alcohol can wash people’s pain away.
And besides, it’s just one time.
He won’t do it again after this.
“Tsk… Hayato.”
The teen yelped, and dropped all the bottles of vodka and other liquors on the ground.
He heard Nick yelling from the other line, asking him what’s going on.
The teen shut his phone, and panted, his heart beating furiously.
“Kazuya-san, I… “
He swallowed the lump in his throat.
“It’s not what you think.”
“I was going to drink it, and-“
He turned around, and found no one there.
“Kazuya…?”
“Don’t go off and do something like this.”
“Kazuya…?”
He frowned, looking at the TV screen.
Surely, that’s his Kazuya alright.
He’d recognized those lips, those eyes, that voice…
His lover donned in… school uniform, unbuttoned, and looked very pissed.
And the next thing he knew, he was throwing punches here and there.
Fighting the delinquents.
The scenes happened somewhat fast, he couldn’t follow his lover’s movements.
He flinched when he saw the scene Kazuya was thrown to the ground, and they beat him up with bats.
Another guy was thrown next to him.
He flinched for them both.
Inwardly telling them to get up and fight.
He looked away when they kept on beating his lover.
Then he saw a lady appeared with a group what he assumed to be their comrades.
“HURRY UP AND SAVE THEM, GUYS!!!”
He found himself yelling at the TV screen.
“COME ON- CAN’T YOU SEE KAZUYA-“
“HAYATO!”
He blinked.
“Eh…?”
“Oh, the character has my name.”
“Well, HURRY!!!”
“Kazuya-“
“Ryu…”
He frowned.
“Ryu…?”
He took the remote, and turned the volume louder.
With each passing seconds, his heart was thumping louder and louder.
Lost in this… movie…
Why is his lover in it in the first place?
Was this one of those projects his lover did during high school?
It looked… too professionals to be a high school drama projects.
He saw the lady now fighting the boys, and she won.
Kazuya lying there, in pain, with his friend.
He touched the screen, almost wanting to cry himself.
Now, they’re by the river.
The lady scolding them.
And Kazuya’s friend defended that he had to do it, he had to end it.
His finger now isn’t trailing over Kazuya anymore, it was unconsciously trailing over for the friend.
“What…”
When the friend got up from his position, he froze on his ground.
That nose… those lips… those eyes…
That chin… that look…
“This is all I can do…”
The friend said hoarsely.
“Yabuki…”
Their teacher said softly.
“What…?”
The teen frowned.
He couldn’t hear what the lady is saying.
The view turned back to the friend again.
“We are nothing alike.”
Kazuya in TV said, scoffing.
“Odagiri… Yabuki…”
He mumbled.
“Odagiri Ryu…”
“And…”
“Yabuki…”
Hayato panted.
Suddenly it’s getting harder to breathe.
“Wh-what’s going on…?”
He trembled.
His eyes widened when the others mentioned their friend’s name.
“Yabuki Hayato.”
“Odagiri and Yabuki.”
“Ryu and Hayato…”
He saw him smile.
It felt like he was looking at himself.
He felt lost.
He got up and frantically looked at the box of the DVD.
NAKAMA YUKIE, KAMENASHI KAZUYA, AKANISHI JIN, HAYAMI MOKOMICHI…
His eyes glued on that name.
“Akanishi Jin…”
The three characters that he saw on the back of the DVD.
On the gravestone…
And on his birth certificate…
His head turned to the direction of the file, containing all the papers along with the neatly typed, official looking paper.
With hands trembling, he slowly read what he can.
Re reading it again, making sure he got the correct Kanji combinations.
There it is.
Next to the character of the father…
The other’s name was placed.
父: 赤西 仁
He reached for the albums, and opened them.
And he was on it.
With the rest of his uncles.
The man in the picture smiled, laughed, having the time of his life.
The next albums were of him and his lover…
The teen’s now lover.
Of them in their early teens, till their 20s.
Tears began to fall down as he came across ones that have them looking at each other.
The look of love they have for each other.
Of them holding hands, and laughing together.
Kazuya leaned his head on the taller him-look-alike.
And his look alike holding a microphone, looking at Kazuya with eyes full of love, while his other uncles were in the background, what looks like they’re singing with them.
Of them embracing each other on the beach, on a balcony, around their friends and family.
The two of them kissing.
And Kazuya leaning up to kiss his look alike on the corner of his lips, while his look alike took their picture.
“No…”
He dropped the album on the floor.
“No…”
“It’s a lie…”
He shook his head.
“It’s a fuckin lie!!!”
“NO!!!”
He threw them all around, frustrated.
He ripped all the papers, broke all the CDs and DVDs into two.
Ripped him off the pictures.
“NO!”
He ripped another of Kazuya looking at him lovingly.
“NO!!!!”
“Dude, we got you ramen!!!”
Nick and the others entered, and was shocked at the scene they are seeing in the living room.
Papers ripped into pieces and halves.
Broken CDs and DVDs.
And their friend ripping photos after photos.
“HAYATO!”
Riley got to his side.
“It’s a lie, Riley…”
He shook his head, chuckling.
“It’s all a lie…”
“What’s… a lie, Hayato?”
Jay frowned.
“Guys…”
Nick pointed to the screen.
They looked at each other, at their friend, and back to the screen.
Nick pointed to the pictures as well.
“Hayato… Hayato… stop!!!”
Jay grabbed the album and throw it away from him.
“HAYATO!”
“NO!!!”
He tried to get up, but Jay held him back.
“It’s a lie, Jay!!!”
“It… it’s just…”
“Calm down, Hayato.”
Jay pushed his best friend down to the couch.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know!!!”
He exclaimed.
“I don’t know…”
“Dude, you’re freaking us out too.”
Nick mumbled.
“Don’t do anything stupid, we can just go talk to your aunt Rena-“
Hayato nodded, and sat up.
“Let’s go.”
He wiped his tears away, and messily threw everything else into his bag.
The other three ran after their best friend.
Kazuya closed his eyes and cuddled himself even more.
Even in the hottest summer, a person can feel so cold.
He buried his nose into Jin’s shirt, inhaling it.
Smiling slightly as he recalled the memory he had with the shirt.
He was pretending to be jealous on how intimate Kurosawa Akihiko is on screen with the lady.
And Kazuya declared he’s better for Akihiko, and just showed the man just what he meant by that after his lover came home from filming, still with the shirt and suit on.
The next morning, when his lover woke up, he found Kazuya wearing his shirt, nothing on the bottom, and buttons aren’t tucked in properly, bed’s hair, and jumped to the bed, immediately straddling him.
Jin rest his weight on his elbows, and eyed his lover like a hungry lion eyeing a piece of fine zebra’s ass.
Kazuya smiled and inhaled deeply again.
Being around Jin’s stuffs, make him feel as if the other’s with him.
Embracing him, holding him close, and keeping him safe.
“Aunty?”
Hayato called out.
The other three took off their shoes, and followed him in.
The teen found the living room to be empty, and when he was about to go further into the house, he heard his aunt’s voice.
“Ai… Kazuya’s not eating again.”
Rena sighed.
“You know how he is, Rena.”
Ai put the leftovers together into one plate and place them in the fridge.
“He’ll eat later on.”
Rena closed her eyes, and sighed.
“No matter how wrong people viewed it…”
Rena smiled.
“They are just… soul mates, right?”
“Our son, ne…”
Ai nodded, and smiled back at Rena.
“I still remember the look on Kazuya’s face when he was so sure of his decision.”
“We all convinced him that it might be just a phase.”
“Being with all guys, and Jin-kun was the nicest.”
“So, the feelings might confuse him.”
“He was only 16 after all.”
Rena nodded in agreement.
“Jin just blurted it out, and left us speechless.”
“My son’s happiness is gone.”
Ai sighed.
“Now he’s living in the past every time he comes back here.”
“Sometimes I wanted to tell him to just never visit Japan altogether, maybe it’ll lessen his pain.”
Ai smiled sadly.
“But, this place means a lot to him.”
“To them.”
Hayato listened quietly, and followed the ladies’ gaze towards the room.
He marched towards the place, and immediately opened the door with a loud bang.
“Jin…”
Kazuya sat up on the futon looking up at the man by the door.
He soon realized his mistake, and he gasped.
The one he mistook as Jin, was surprised to see him.
Then he watched those eyes turned cold and blank.
“Explain…”
To The awesome awesome readers,
First of all, thank you so much for still sticking to me... (very slow me...) :D
But, this is all for you guys, since I got lots of comments, and i couldn't help but write away! :D
So, thank you so much for that!
*Hugs*
And the silent readers... thank you for commenting. it doesn't matter you don't comment from the first page, getting one makes me grin so much!
:D
I hope everyone aren't upset with this update, it's too long, ne?
I'm so sorry if it bothered you, or somehow this felt like a drag.
Let me know, and I'll try to improve on the lengths :)
HAIII~
Thank you so much for still reading this and thank you for the comments.
*Gives everyone cookies*