I'm Back!
Okay, fine. I didn't exactly mention I was leaving. BUT I MEANT TO.
I just ran out of time before I left for el-jay and such.
Where have I been? I have been at a BUDDHIST MONASTERY on my SILENT RETREAT. And dudes. The silence was indeed deafening. Also, I had no idea what meditation actually was prior to this point. I have done meditation courses in the past, and the people who ran them had no idea what meditation was actually about either.
MEDITATION IS HARDER THAN STANDING ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN, YO'. Sorry about all the shouting. But I have a lot of noise to catch up on. When I'm done with this post I'm going to stand on the sidewalk and scream at passing cars.
Here is the tiny little room where I have been kicking back the past week coming to terms with the impermanence of all things and the fact that I don't actually exist:
Here is the bed that I wept on, mourning my lack of Self:
Here is the Epic Nowhereness of Bodhinyana Monastery:
I was told by two different monks that I have the mad monkey brain and that until I learn to be forgiving and nice at the monkey, my head will never shut up. I somehow feel that kimonkey7 should take the blame for this, because my brain was definitely not half-insane-monkey before she became my internet wife.
Despite my complete fail at contemplating nothing for up to eight hours a day(I almost thought about nothing once, but got so excited that I was thinking about nothing that I started thinking about how awesome I was for finally thinking about nothing, which isn't really nothing, but is instead Something), I did partake of some rather amazing activities. I worked around the Monastery, participated in Dāna, fasted daily after noon, did not speak for four days in a row and drank a shitload of green tea.
On my last day there, when I was free to speak, I took my daily meal with a man in green overalls and beanie who turned out to be a pre-release prisoner from a jail in the area. Have you ever had a fated conversation? I think we had a fated conversation, on both sides. R, I wish you peace and happiness in your future, and I am so very, very glad the planets converged such that we got to spend those hours talking about our opposite perspectives of the justice system. We did each other some cosmic good, I think, you and I. :D
Anyway. I am home a day early because my tard!dogs escaped from Wellsy's place and got arrested by the dog police. So I have to go bail them out this afternoon. *facepalm* This is the cost of Enlightenment. $130 of impound fees, a ranger lecture, and probably a nasty fine/dog owner class of some description.
My instantly-eroded state of bliss -- let me show you it.
I just ran out of time before I left for el-jay and such.
Where have I been? I have been at a BUDDHIST MONASTERY on my SILENT RETREAT. And dudes. The silence was indeed deafening. Also, I had no idea what meditation actually was prior to this point. I have done meditation courses in the past, and the people who ran them had no idea what meditation was actually about either.
MEDITATION IS HARDER THAN STANDING ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN, YO'. Sorry about all the shouting. But I have a lot of noise to catch up on. When I'm done with this post I'm going to stand on the sidewalk and scream at passing cars.
Here is the tiny little room where I have been kicking back the past week coming to terms with the impermanence of all things and the fact that I don't actually exist:
Here is the bed that I wept on, mourning my lack of Self:
Here is the Epic Nowhereness of Bodhinyana Monastery:
I was told by two different monks that I have the mad monkey brain and that until I learn to be forgiving and nice at the monkey, my head will never shut up. I somehow feel that kimonkey7 should take the blame for this, because my brain was definitely not half-insane-monkey before she became my internet wife.
Despite my complete fail at contemplating nothing for up to eight hours a day(I almost thought about nothing once, but got so excited that I was thinking about nothing that I started thinking about how awesome I was for finally thinking about nothing, which isn't really nothing, but is instead Something), I did partake of some rather amazing activities. I worked around the Monastery, participated in Dāna, fasted daily after noon, did not speak for four days in a row and drank a shitload of green tea.
On my last day there, when I was free to speak, I took my daily meal with a man in green overalls and beanie who turned out to be a pre-release prisoner from a jail in the area. Have you ever had a fated conversation? I think we had a fated conversation, on both sides. R, I wish you peace and happiness in your future, and I am so very, very glad the planets converged such that we got to spend those hours talking about our opposite perspectives of the justice system. We did each other some cosmic good, I think, you and I. :D
Anyway. I am home a day early because my tard!dogs escaped from Wellsy's place and got arrested by the dog police. So I have to go bail them out this afternoon. *facepalm* This is the cost of Enlightenment. $130 of impound fees, a ranger lecture, and probably a nasty fine/dog owner class of some description.
My instantly-eroded state of bliss -- let me show you it.