The Master Procrastinator is...IN
Dudes, I'm sorry, and I really am going to get cracking on the closing scenes of chappy four in precisely two seconds, but explain to me something:
Cordial, right? You guys have cordial in Americaland? Like, the fruit flavoring you put in water to make a drink? Yes? *hopes you do*
Well, it's really hot over here today, and I has just got up to get a nice cool drink to go with my debilitating inadequacy as a writer, and I was disappointed to find I have no coke or soda or anything left in my fridge. But I DO have a squeeze bottle of lemon juice. So, ever the MacGyver of domesticity, I pour a glass of water, toss in a few ice cubes, and squirt some lemon juice on top.
My question is this: it tastes EXACTLY like lemon cordial!
Okay, fine. That's not a question. It's more of a squeal of outrage. I take your point there. Here is my actual question: why the fuck is the ingredients panel on the cordial bottles so goddamn long if I can just squirt a bunch of straight lemon juice into a glass and it's OSTENSIBLY THE SAME RESULT? Who are these people adding all that crap to the cordial, and why are they wasting their time like that?
*is disproportionately confounded*
In other news, I has achieved 100% on my forklift assessment! *waves certificate of competency victoriously* SUCK ON THAT, MEAN SCARY FORKLIFT ASSESSOR DUDE. Heeeeeeeeeee!