(no subject)
ok this boy is really starting to frustrate me, I just wish he would make up his mind what he wants this to be.. he keeps going back and forth between wanting a relationship and making it a point that we're just friends. I don't think he realizes what he's doing either, I need to talk to him about it but I can't figure out how to approach it. It's like playing a game where one person knows all the rules but the other one is making it up as they go its hard. The thing that pushed me over the edge is the fact that he cancelled his trip here in June cuz he was "broke" but then last week he fucking bought a car, then today he txted me to tell me that he just got another truck. He thinks its funny that he has more vehicles then my entire family has had in the last 5 years if he would have called me I would have been a complete bitch. I'm really rethinking this whole thing, seriously back in March I thought he was finally starting to grow up and get somewhere but now I'm realizing that he isn't changing at all, he's not trying to move out of his parents house, he's got a degree but he's not even trying to find a job with it... cuz a gas station is such a great career, he really doesn't worry aobut anything other then if he's keeping up with the guys as far as his truck goes. He says he wants a girlfriend but he doesn't do anything about it. I'm just over all of it, I travel all over the place to visit him and he can't come out here, he says he wants to be with me but he doesn't want anyone to know about it... way to make a girl feel good. I'm starting to think that maybe I'd be better off with a guy like TJ who was more or less useing me but at the same time he tried. I just can't always be the one who plans everything out, who is responsible, who travels everywhere.