And 2 years later
Doesn't time just seem to slip by? Well I am proud to say I didn't have a little girl but a beautiful, sweet , & smart boy ( I don't say little because he is anything but little). Sadly the father and I are not together although I should not say sadly because I am not sad in the least bit. When we broke up it was like 10 pounds lifted off my shoulders. He is what you call a mania lover and if you don't know what a manic lover is I will explain
"mania is greek for "madness" Mania lover is possessive, dependent, and often controlling. Mania lovers are constantly fearful that their partner will leave and must be constantly reassured that the relationship is intact. These Relationships are characterized by turmoil, extreme and unrealistic jealousy, and sometimes true obsession. Partners of mania lovers may feel excited at first that they are so intensely loved and needed but they soon find that they are being emotionally smothered by a clinging, insecure partner ( nincompoop!) When maina lovers feel that a partner is drifting away they may resort to such drastic measures as stalking, threats of suicide, actual suicide attempts , or physical violence to prevent the partner from leaving."
Now that is from a human sexuality book but it marks Jon to the T
As I stated before about the always needed reassurance he would constantly ask me if I loved him and when I told him I loved him he would question it . He would get jealous of Hannah because I would ,god forbid, go hang out with her. He always thought her and I were hiding something ,and at the end of the relationship I was because I was tired of having to explain myself to him about what I did. Plus it didn't matter if I did try and explain anything to because he would think I was lying anyways. There are two things in my mind that I knew ruined us 1. When he worked at GP he would come over EVER GOD DAMN MORNING ,at like 6 o clock and expect me to be excited every time , but one morning he said to me " there are different tire tracks in your yard" I looked at him like he was stupid I mean REALLY? you can tell the difference between all of the tires tracks in my yard when I have three cars and friends? wouldn't you think they would all just become a jumbled mess? I mean this still pisses me off to this day because it was so ridiculous. 2. The show buffy in the like first or second season there is a ring ,the name of it escapes me right now,and it had a heart with a crown over it and two hands holding surrounding it . If you had the heart facing you it meant you were taken and if it was pointed away it meant you were single well I told Jon about the ring when we first started dating and he really paid no mind to it but then all of a sudden it became a big deal and he literally would get upset if the ring was the wrong way saying like " oh you're single now?" like really dude? I know you don't wear rings on your finger but I do and you tend to play with then and sometimes they get turned the other way.
And those are just like a 1/4 of the shit I had to deal with if I went on I would be typing all night. needless to say I cut the cray cray out of my life and moved the fucked on.
now the question is where the fuck am I moving on too? and I am so glad you asked ;).
see there is this man ( how cliche of me) and he works at my school and let me tell you I have a full blown school girl crush I mean I giggle and blush when I see this guy. let me tell you it takes A LOT for a guy to get me to do that. He is a bit older than me like 14 years older than me but my god when he smiles and his eyes he is just so attractive. And hopefully when I graduate ( IN SEPTEMBER !!!!!) I will be able to jump his bones.
But as far as In the now goes I guess you could say I am under the weather. Sunday night actually at about 8'0clock I got this awful pain in my stomach and at first I thought I had a bad case of gas but the pain got a lot worse to were I was in a ball crying . My dad telling me the whole time " something is wrong this isn't gas" well then I started to puke and my dad started to freak telling me he WAS taking me to the ER no questions. Thankfully he did because lo and behold my appendix was acting up and it needed removing. The only silver lining this former druggie gets is the fact I get my favorite drug morphine :D . Now don't go thinking I'm going to relapse or anything I only did morphine once in pill form and that was the best damn high I have ever had! So I took advantage at the hospital and told them to shot me up Scotty! I had the actual surgery at like 6 in morning on Monday and went home that afternoon . I must say I will never trust a hospital like I trust North Florida I always feel safe and well taken care of there :) I actually want to work there for my internship and hopefully I will get the chance
"mania is greek for "madness" Mania lover is possessive, dependent, and often controlling. Mania lovers are constantly fearful that their partner will leave and must be constantly reassured that the relationship is intact. These Relationships are characterized by turmoil, extreme and unrealistic jealousy, and sometimes true obsession. Partners of mania lovers may feel excited at first that they are so intensely loved and needed but they soon find that they are being emotionally smothered by a clinging, insecure partner ( nincompoop!) When maina lovers feel that a partner is drifting away they may resort to such drastic measures as stalking, threats of suicide, actual suicide attempts , or physical violence to prevent the partner from leaving."
Now that is from a human sexuality book but it marks Jon to the T
As I stated before about the always needed reassurance he would constantly ask me if I loved him and when I told him I loved him he would question it . He would get jealous of Hannah because I would ,god forbid, go hang out with her. He always thought her and I were hiding something ,and at the end of the relationship I was because I was tired of having to explain myself to him about what I did. Plus it didn't matter if I did try and explain anything to because he would think I was lying anyways. There are two things in my mind that I knew ruined us 1. When he worked at GP he would come over EVER GOD DAMN MORNING ,at like 6 o clock and expect me to be excited every time , but one morning he said to me " there are different tire tracks in your yard" I looked at him like he was stupid I mean REALLY? you can tell the difference between all of the tires tracks in my yard when I have three cars and friends? wouldn't you think they would all just become a jumbled mess? I mean this still pisses me off to this day because it was so ridiculous. 2. The show buffy in the like first or second season there is a ring ,the name of it escapes me right now,and it had a heart with a crown over it and two hands holding surrounding it . If you had the heart facing you it meant you were taken and if it was pointed away it meant you were single well I told Jon about the ring when we first started dating and he really paid no mind to it but then all of a sudden it became a big deal and he literally would get upset if the ring was the wrong way saying like " oh you're single now?" like really dude? I know you don't wear rings on your finger but I do and you tend to play with then and sometimes they get turned the other way.
And those are just like a 1/4 of the shit I had to deal with if I went on I would be typing all night. needless to say I cut the cray cray out of my life and moved the fucked on.
now the question is where the fuck am I moving on too? and I am so glad you asked ;).
see there is this man ( how cliche of me) and he works at my school and let me tell you I have a full blown school girl crush I mean I giggle and blush when I see this guy. let me tell you it takes A LOT for a guy to get me to do that. He is a bit older than me like 14 years older than me but my god when he smiles and his eyes he is just so attractive. And hopefully when I graduate ( IN SEPTEMBER !!!!!) I will be able to jump his bones.
But as far as In the now goes I guess you could say I am under the weather. Sunday night actually at about 8'0clock I got this awful pain in my stomach and at first I thought I had a bad case of gas but the pain got a lot worse to were I was in a ball crying . My dad telling me the whole time " something is wrong this isn't gas" well then I started to puke and my dad started to freak telling me he WAS taking me to the ER no questions. Thankfully he did because lo and behold my appendix was acting up and it needed removing. The only silver lining this former druggie gets is the fact I get my favorite drug morphine :D . Now don't go thinking I'm going to relapse or anything I only did morphine once in pill form and that was the best damn high I have ever had! So I took advantage at the hospital and told them to shot me up Scotty! I had the actual surgery at like 6 in morning on Monday and went home that afternoon . I must say I will never trust a hospital like I trust North Florida I always feel safe and well taken care of there :) I actually want to work there for my internship and hopefully I will get the chance