(no subject)
I made a mistake, I apologized and now I gotta make it right.
I chose Jess over Melissa. Why? Because, honestly, I wanted to stroke my ego for a bit. roughly 8 dudes are after Jess at the moment. she's constantly taking calls in my presence just to get a reaction out of me. i dont give her the satisfaction and she ends up wanting more of my attention. she asks for my permission to see her guy friends...i tell her she doesnt need to ask...but she asks me anyway. i can feel her trying to reel me in...but there's just something about a girl like that that screams "temporary".
sure the passion and fire are great...but beneath that, all i get is 100% attention, insane amounts of loyalty, suspicion and a lack of trust. yummy! she pretty much offered to buy me a bike rack for the car and a new mountain bike. I get lunch delivered to my house. everything is paid for. and she tries to get me stuff from other dudes trying to get with her. yes, im her pimp. but the first rule of pimpin is not to get attached to your assets. hahaha...relax lj ladies....im only trying to get a reaction :)
but on a serious note...i was a bit scared of the realness Melissa offered. that shit was some genuine feelings shit. but I cut it off w/ her.
then one day Melissa asked to see me. just to talk. keep the friendship dealy. I drove to Markham and met up. I was dying! she had curled her hair and was dressed in jogging pants and a tank top. she kept her distance and we talked under the stars. i gave her a hug and drove off....feeling like a complete fool.
things w/ jess slowly deteriorated. she tried her best. I didnt. but come on! im a big fan of drama...but jess was constant drama. not the good kind of drama mind you, the kind of drama that comes with a lack of communication, or the unwillingness to openly communicate.
her: we're not going to wasaga on saturday coz its gonna rain....so we're all going to Niagara falls instead.
me: yeah?......I dont wanna go to Niagara Falls tho.
her: (silence) come on....lets just go. why dont you wanna go?
me: coz thats money i dont need to be spending on more gambling. (but really, its coz I dont like hanging out with her friends and by changing the plans she opened up a loophole for me to back out)
her: (silence) (drama silence)
me: are you upset by this? like, really mad?
her: well, yeah, but I guess I cant do anything about it
me: ok...im getting off the phone, call me back when you cool off.
She calls me back with a veiled apology...i stand my ground about not going to Niagara Falls and the drama slowly creeps back into the convo.
She asked me if i wanted to go swimming with her and her friends at some hotel.....no thanks. she detects something in my voice. i play it off like nothing is wrong. she pushes: "whats wrong?" nothing. i hang up.
3 minutes later I call her back:
ME:
"listen...the reason i sounded a bit off on the phone is coz there's something I need to tell you. I made plans with Mark and Melissa already to go have some soup and I didnt want to upset you coz I know you dont like it when I see Melissa. but she's a friend of mine and you cant be making me feel guilty for seeing her. so if you have a problem with that, im sorry, but this is non-negotiable"
HER:
"fine...call me when you're done."
Honestly...that conversation was the final straw. later on that night Melissa and I watched Laguna Beach. The main storyline revolves around Stephen....a senior. He's going out with Kristin...a super hot girl who has lots of guy friends who want to hook up with her. Kristin is the popular, bitchy girl. LC is Stephen's best friend from elementary school---she keeps him real and grounded. she like Stephen too, but has the integrity to not chase. good show. i think of it as a study of a niche californian sub-culture...its almost like watching the discovery channel....but instead of Amazonian tribes or Asian slaves...its about rich kids in the OC.
Me: Im sorry for all this drama...I made a HUGE mistake and Id do anything to make it right.
Melissa: (silence...but a little smirk).....(spins around on my spinny chair)...are you nervous?
Me: uhhh....not really...I guess, a little.
Melissa: (silence...with a smile) hahaha.... you're funny. I kinda liked the drama in a way. (but the tone in her voice hinted at "dont do this again please")
We hug.
Melissa: this doesnt mean you're forgiven tho.
Me: I know.
Melissa: just kidding. or am I?
SO
now things are better. im feeling better. and all i gotta do is talk to Jess and tell her the bad news. but since I didnt call her last night...i gotta deal with this bullshit drama of HER not answering my phone calls. but oh well...she might be thinking that she's getting an apology instead of whats really coming.
lesson for the ladies: honesty is HUGE. communication is HUGE. the only reason we put up with constant drama and bullshit is for the sex....after that, the drama turns into a ticking time bomb. girls with integrity are hotter...but dont turn integrity into a form of super-pride coz that just makes you a drama queen. give less, get more. its okay to make us feel a little jealous...but dont be a slut about it.
I chose Jess over Melissa. Why? Because, honestly, I wanted to stroke my ego for a bit. roughly 8 dudes are after Jess at the moment. she's constantly taking calls in my presence just to get a reaction out of me. i dont give her the satisfaction and she ends up wanting more of my attention. she asks for my permission to see her guy friends...i tell her she doesnt need to ask...but she asks me anyway. i can feel her trying to reel me in...but there's just something about a girl like that that screams "temporary".
sure the passion and fire are great...but beneath that, all i get is 100% attention, insane amounts of loyalty, suspicion and a lack of trust. yummy! she pretty much offered to buy me a bike rack for the car and a new mountain bike. I get lunch delivered to my house. everything is paid for. and she tries to get me stuff from other dudes trying to get with her. yes, im her pimp. but the first rule of pimpin is not to get attached to your assets. hahaha...relax lj ladies....im only trying to get a reaction :)
but on a serious note...i was a bit scared of the realness Melissa offered. that shit was some genuine feelings shit. but I cut it off w/ her.
then one day Melissa asked to see me. just to talk. keep the friendship dealy. I drove to Markham and met up. I was dying! she had curled her hair and was dressed in jogging pants and a tank top. she kept her distance and we talked under the stars. i gave her a hug and drove off....feeling like a complete fool.
things w/ jess slowly deteriorated. she tried her best. I didnt. but come on! im a big fan of drama...but jess was constant drama. not the good kind of drama mind you, the kind of drama that comes with a lack of communication, or the unwillingness to openly communicate.
her: we're not going to wasaga on saturday coz its gonna rain....so we're all going to Niagara falls instead.
me: yeah?......I dont wanna go to Niagara Falls tho.
her: (silence) come on....lets just go. why dont you wanna go?
me: coz thats money i dont need to be spending on more gambling. (but really, its coz I dont like hanging out with her friends and by changing the plans she opened up a loophole for me to back out)
her: (silence) (drama silence)
me: are you upset by this? like, really mad?
her: well, yeah, but I guess I cant do anything about it
me: ok...im getting off the phone, call me back when you cool off.
She calls me back with a veiled apology...i stand my ground about not going to Niagara Falls and the drama slowly creeps back into the convo.
She asked me if i wanted to go swimming with her and her friends at some hotel.....no thanks. she detects something in my voice. i play it off like nothing is wrong. she pushes: "whats wrong?" nothing. i hang up.
3 minutes later I call her back:
ME:
"listen...the reason i sounded a bit off on the phone is coz there's something I need to tell you. I made plans with Mark and Melissa already to go have some soup and I didnt want to upset you coz I know you dont like it when I see Melissa. but she's a friend of mine and you cant be making me feel guilty for seeing her. so if you have a problem with that, im sorry, but this is non-negotiable"
HER:
"fine...call me when you're done."
Honestly...that conversation was the final straw. later on that night Melissa and I watched Laguna Beach. The main storyline revolves around Stephen....a senior. He's going out with Kristin...a super hot girl who has lots of guy friends who want to hook up with her. Kristin is the popular, bitchy girl. LC is Stephen's best friend from elementary school---she keeps him real and grounded. she like Stephen too, but has the integrity to not chase. good show. i think of it as a study of a niche californian sub-culture...its almost like watching the discovery channel....but instead of Amazonian tribes or Asian slaves...its about rich kids in the OC.
Me: Im sorry for all this drama...I made a HUGE mistake and Id do anything to make it right.
Melissa: (silence...but a little smirk).....(spins around on my spinny chair)...are you nervous?
Me: uhhh....not really...I guess, a little.
Melissa: (silence...with a smile) hahaha.... you're funny. I kinda liked the drama in a way. (but the tone in her voice hinted at "dont do this again please")
We hug.
Melissa: this doesnt mean you're forgiven tho.
Me: I know.
Melissa: just kidding. or am I?
SO
now things are better. im feeling better. and all i gotta do is talk to Jess and tell her the bad news. but since I didnt call her last night...i gotta deal with this bullshit drama of HER not answering my phone calls. but oh well...she might be thinking that she's getting an apology instead of whats really coming.
lesson for the ladies: honesty is HUGE. communication is HUGE. the only reason we put up with constant drama and bullshit is for the sex....after that, the drama turns into a ticking time bomb. girls with integrity are hotter...but dont turn integrity into a form of super-pride coz that just makes you a drama queen. give less, get more. its okay to make us feel a little jealous...but dont be a slut about it.