Six Movies I Wish I Could Have Rewritten
Pacific Rim: It had all the right ingredients, but if I could have cut the more preposterous fight sequences for more development of the hero-heroine-mutual mentor relationship it would have been more than just great eye candy with a soundtrack I do my morning pushups to.
Iron Man Three: I liked the movie right up until he blew up all his robot suits. Let’s face it, without those suits, Tony Stark is not Iron Man. He’s not even an Avenger, since I’d bet on either Coulson or May from “Agents of Shield” kicking his ass sans suit, except who would bet on Stark? Without the suits he is Q with control over his own budget and a better girlfriend than Bond usually gets. I’d also add a scene when Stark tells Nick Fury about clues he found concerning Hydra’s infiltration of Shield, thus filling a plot hole in the continuity between “Avengers” and “Winter Soldier.”
America Samurai: It would probably never be more than a Dolph Lundgren B-movie, but there were so many missed opportunities for good jokes.
Jurassic Park: I’d rewrite the scene where the developer and the paleo-botanist are talking about the importance of feeling over reason to reflect the actual problem that occurred, which was the triumph of greed over reasonable precautions.
Dark Knight Rises: I’d write it so that Wayne is about to solve the world’s energy crisis with his magnificent invention, but Bane and cohorts capture the city and threaten to use it as a bomb if they don’t get what they want.
Star Trek: Into Darkness: The problem was that the Admiral was too much of a black hat, which made Kirk’s decisions too easy. If the Admiral had been smarter, he wouldn’t have given Kirk reason to fight back so desperately. The Admiral could have played the hero and towed the Enterprise back to Earth. And frankly, they are going to wish they had that big monster of a starship when the Borg show up. I realize Borg are Next Generation, but I doubt anyone is going to wait that long to bring back into the movies.
Iron Man Three: I liked the movie right up until he blew up all his robot suits. Let’s face it, without those suits, Tony Stark is not Iron Man. He’s not even an Avenger, since I’d bet on either Coulson or May from “Agents of Shield” kicking his ass sans suit, except who would bet on Stark? Without the suits he is Q with control over his own budget and a better girlfriend than Bond usually gets. I’d also add a scene when Stark tells Nick Fury about clues he found concerning Hydra’s infiltration of Shield, thus filling a plot hole in the continuity between “Avengers” and “Winter Soldier.”
America Samurai: It would probably never be more than a Dolph Lundgren B-movie, but there were so many missed opportunities for good jokes.
Jurassic Park: I’d rewrite the scene where the developer and the paleo-botanist are talking about the importance of feeling over reason to reflect the actual problem that occurred, which was the triumph of greed over reasonable precautions.
Dark Knight Rises: I’d write it so that Wayne is about to solve the world’s energy crisis with his magnificent invention, but Bane and cohorts capture the city and threaten to use it as a bomb if they don’t get what they want.
Star Trek: Into Darkness: The problem was that the Admiral was too much of a black hat, which made Kirk’s decisions too easy. If the Admiral had been smarter, he wouldn’t have given Kirk reason to fight back so desperately. The Admiral could have played the hero and towed the Enterprise back to Earth. And frankly, they are going to wish they had that big monster of a starship when the Borg show up. I realize Borg are Next Generation, but I doubt anyone is going to wait that long to bring back into the movies.