Entry #14: Prompt: Accidentally Perfect
Week 3 of the brigits_flameNovember contest! Only a quick intro here, pops. It's 3 am already and Dad's getting pissed. I seem to do a lot of my writing very late into the night. I should change that, right?
Word count: 2062 (Before it was only 1612, but I just edited it and it seems that it has barely passed the word limit for this week!)
-joy
PS. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience with the indentation, and to remind you that comments and criticism are always welcome on my part. Thanks for reading!
PPS. Also, I just edited this piece since I didn't have a chance to do it yesterday (well, today)..........
Accidentally Perfect
She was laughing.
It was the first thing I noticed about her as she opened the door, as I went to deliver the news that I knew would ruin her Christmas - and most likely the rest of her holidays. There was still laughter in her eyes, even as the smile on her face died as she saw the flashing red and blue lights behind me. She was dressed in a blue frock that was so deep in hue it was almost black, that it oddly seemed fitting.
“Is there a problem? Officer?” she asked, anxiety seeping into her voice.
“Ma’am,” I began, before faltering as I noticed a little girl almost identical to her mother appearing from behind the door. She looked to be about seven or eight and peered up wonderingly at me.
Elisabeth, I thought. She would be around that age by now.
I pushed thoughts of my daughter away from me, and started over. “Mrs. Caldwell, I presume?”
She nodded mutely at me, and my eyes trailed down to the little girl who was now clutching the edge of her mother’s dress. I shut my eyes, breathing deeply, before saying the next few words, “It’s your husband. You’re going to have to come with me.”
***
My baby girl, my daughter Elisa, appeared to my girlfriend and me in the guise of a lot of iced-cold drinks.
Sarah and I was an item at that time. Even though we had never spoken it outright, we both believed that we would marry after graduation. Heck, that was what everyone thought as well.
With the exception of Sarah’s parents being away for the weekend, it was just a regular night and we were just hanging out at her house. During one of our previous hangouts, we had discovered a healthy stock of her parents’ private store of alcohol. Stealing a few drinks here and there, we were soon under way to an unforgettable evening.
It was my fault. I knew Sarah blamed me for that night, and I couldn’t help but agree with her. A lot of ‘if I hadn’t done this’ or ‘if things had just gone differently’ had entered my mind but in the end, it was worth it.
It was worth it, even if only because in the end we both got Elisabeth out of it. The only thing was I realized this far too late.
***
The whole city’s perception of reality was shattered on this day.
There was simply no brighter side to this tragedy. I pitied the families that had been impacted by it. In truth, the whole community had been affected - it was so unusual to have so many lives lost at once. Tragedies were so few and far between that it did not seem to exist here. Nevertheless, it happened.
Snow had been falling heavily since the beginning of December, and Christmas was not an exception. I was working overtime during the Christmas holidays, inactive as it was. To past the time, the other boys and I had started a game of cards while we waited idly, expecting an uninteresting day. Oh, how wrong were we when received the emergency call.
It was a major car accident. The rapidly building snow had blinded a truck delivering late supplies to their company, causing the truck to swerve right into incoming traffic. Resulting into several cars crashing one after another, it left the city horror-struck.
The station grew busy as officers were pulled from their homes to assist with the crash. I sat behind my desk, amidst the chaos ensuing, and pressed my left cheek on the table. The polished wood was cool on my cheek, and I softly sighed. My eyes slowly focused on a small picture frame that I had propped on the edge of my desk. It was a photo of Sarah; she was wearing the flimsy outfit the hospital had given her, and was beaming at the camera. A small, pink face peeked out of the bundle in her arms. I gazed at it, reminding myself of the woman I once loved, and the baby girl whom I had never given a chance.
“Officer Marks?”
I instantly lifted my head and glanced at the woman who addressed me. I faintly recognized her as Mrs. Caldwell, the mother of the little girl that reminded me of Elisa. I couldn’t help but notice the tear streaks on her face before answering.
“Yes?”
She stared hard at me, and I was sad to see that the laugh lines on her face had turned gaunt and unhappy. The dark blue dress she wore now entirely fit her sombre demeanour.
“Thank you, sir.”
***
Saturday.
Today was my first day off since the incident. January was fast approaching, and out of spontaneity, I decided I needed a bit more festive cheer in my life. After all, I had spent half of Christmas break sitting behind my bureau at the station, or behind the wheel of my patrol car as I sped up and down the city.
I lived alone in my apartment these days and lately, I haven’t had time to stock up the refrigerator with groceries. In fact, given that I preferred the station to my empty apartment, I was rarely at home. It was much more cheerful, really, when you had someone else to share your holidays with.
Arriving at the local supermarket, I wondered vaguely what groceries I needed. It had been a long time since I had done any cooking, and I figured the New Year deserved something special. Snatching one of the last carts, I headed down the aisles one by one.
The supermarket was packed with last minute shoppers. Haggard faces blurred past my eyes as the owners ran around searching for things they were missing. As I watched a couple hurriedly exiting the store, after passing the cashier a thick wad of bills, I nearly collided with a woman. I apologized quickly, but her voice cut me off.
“Liam?”
I looked up at the woman’s face, recognition immediately hitting me.
“Sarah,” I breathed.
***
“I’m leaving you, Liam.”
I glanced up from the stack of papers sitting on my desk, and became aware of Sarah. She was standing in the cramped hallway of the apartment I shared with a college friend, holding a red bag tightly to her chest. Dressed in a plaid jacket, she brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Her lips were pursed into a tight line, and I had a feeling that this wasn’t a standard visit.
“What, no hello?” I asked.
She ignored this, and settled the red bag she always carried around with her since Elisa was born on the floor. She cautiously sat down on the second-hand couch that my roommate and I had crammed in our apartment earlier in the month. Sarah took a deep breath, and repeated, “I’m leaving you, Liam. Elisa and I, we’re moving away.”
I frowned, my eyebrows creasing together. I dropped the pen I was holding, and turned to face towards her. She must be kidding, or at any rate I did not hear her properly. Of course, like any regular couple, we sometimes got into petty fights. Never had it reach the point when one person threatened to leave the other. I tried to get a hold of her hands, but she pulled farther away from me.
“I’m serious, Liam. My parents… they have decided to move to Arizona, and they want me to come along. I decided yesterday… I’m going to go with them. And I’m bringing Elisabeth.”
I grinned at her, thinking it was still a joke. I said, “Arizona? Why on earth would you move there? You belong here with me.”
I was startled to see a flash of emotions pass in her eyes. She was angry - no, she was furious.
“Here, Liam?” She asked in a low voice. “My place is here in this grungy apartment you share with your drunken roommate? No, Liam. I don’t think so.”
I stared at her unsmiling face and felt my jaw slacken as she continued her tirade.
“Do you know what it’s like being a mother, Liam? Well, let me tell you what I have been doing every single day of my life since that night.
“Everyday, I wake up early in the morning, and get ready for my full time job, while you, on the other hand, is still fast asleep on this very bed.” She pointed a shaking finger to my unkempt bed in the corner. “In the meantime, I make Elisa and I our breakfast and lunch as I prepare her for school. After I have dropped Elisa off at, I force myself to get to that horrible job on time, and then I work my butt off for ten hours only to get a measly pay in return - which, may I add, is hardly enough to feed us. After work, I am always half an hour late in picking up Elisa, and even when I am more than ready to drop on the floor as soon as we get home, I don’t. And do you know why that is, Liam?” Sarah was breathing heavily at this point and her voice had risen up an octave. “I can’t even shut my eyes to sleep the exhaustion away because I am forced to feed your daughter, Liam. And where is the father of my child? I ask myself.” She paused, taking another deep breath. “Having parties with his college friends, while working on towards his goal and future career.”
Fuming, she awaited for my answer in vain. I had nothing to say, because in actual fact, all of this was true.
“Liam.” Her tone had changed. She had said my name in desperation, and tears were beginning to form in her eyes. “Liam, please. I gave up my education for Elisa and you. I have done everything for you. Answer me.”
When I didn’t respond, she squeezed her eyes shut, and let the tears fall freely.
Soon after she left, I questioned why I didn’t stop her from leaving me. To me, everything had changed when Elisabeth had been born. I felt awful, but at the same time, I was lost. I was too young to be father. What did she expect from me?
***
“Sarah,” I breathed.
I had always imagined my reunion with Sarah, whenever that was. So when it finally happened, I couldn’t believe it. Things like meeting the mother of the daughter you have not seen in years do not just happen on an ordinary, Saturday morning at the supermarket. There had to be a warning of some sort, something that could have warned me to bring together all the remorse and sorrow I had been feeling over the years and turn it into one big, jumble of the perfect way to formally apologize.
However, I was extremely unprepared for this. Sarah stood uneasily before me, as if regretting in calling my name. Understandably enough, she looked older than I remembered her. There were lines outlining the shape of her face, and her eyes were even more tired and weary. She had cut her hair short, and it was such a startling contrast that I almost reached out to touch it.
It was her turn to say nothing.
At first, we stood there in awkward silence. How do I sum up all of the guilt and regret I have been feeling? How do I convey my poor excuse that I had not known any better at that time? I had alienated Sarah completely after Elisa’s birth, and when she had threatened to leave me, I didn’t even lift a finger to stop her. Everything was my fault, so what could I have said to make things better?
The only thing that came into my mind, and it was the only thing that linked us together despite our distance over the years, was our daughter.
I stepped closer towards the girl I once loved, and wrapped her in an embrace. I felt her body stiffen, but I only tightened my grip in response. I whispered in her ear the only words that I could distinguish from my tangled mind.
“She’s perfect, Sarah. Elisa, I mean. Accidentally perfect. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that before.”
Word count: 2062 (Before it was only 1612, but I just edited it and it seems that it has barely passed the word limit for this week!)
-joy
PS. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience with the indentation, and to remind you that comments and criticism are always welcome on my part. Thanks for reading!
PPS. Also, I just edited this piece since I didn't have a chance to do it yesterday (well, today)..........
Accidentally Perfect
She was laughing.
It was the first thing I noticed about her as she opened the door, as I went to deliver the news that I knew would ruin her Christmas - and most likely the rest of her holidays. There was still laughter in her eyes, even as the smile on her face died as she saw the flashing red and blue lights behind me. She was dressed in a blue frock that was so deep in hue it was almost black, that it oddly seemed fitting.
“Is there a problem? Officer?” she asked, anxiety seeping into her voice.
“Ma’am,” I began, before faltering as I noticed a little girl almost identical to her mother appearing from behind the door. She looked to be about seven or eight and peered up wonderingly at me.
Elisabeth, I thought. She would be around that age by now.
I pushed thoughts of my daughter away from me, and started over. “Mrs. Caldwell, I presume?”
She nodded mutely at me, and my eyes trailed down to the little girl who was now clutching the edge of her mother’s dress. I shut my eyes, breathing deeply, before saying the next few words, “It’s your husband. You’re going to have to come with me.”
***
My baby girl, my daughter Elisa, appeared to my girlfriend and me in the guise of a lot of iced-cold drinks.
Sarah and I was an item at that time. Even though we had never spoken it outright, we both believed that we would marry after graduation. Heck, that was what everyone thought as well.
With the exception of Sarah’s parents being away for the weekend, it was just a regular night and we were just hanging out at her house. During one of our previous hangouts, we had discovered a healthy stock of her parents’ private store of alcohol. Stealing a few drinks here and there, we were soon under way to an unforgettable evening.
It was my fault. I knew Sarah blamed me for that night, and I couldn’t help but agree with her. A lot of ‘if I hadn’t done this’ or ‘if things had just gone differently’ had entered my mind but in the end, it was worth it.
It was worth it, even if only because in the end we both got Elisabeth out of it. The only thing was I realized this far too late.
***
The whole city’s perception of reality was shattered on this day.
There was simply no brighter side to this tragedy. I pitied the families that had been impacted by it. In truth, the whole community had been affected - it was so unusual to have so many lives lost at once. Tragedies were so few and far between that it did not seem to exist here. Nevertheless, it happened.
Snow had been falling heavily since the beginning of December, and Christmas was not an exception. I was working overtime during the Christmas holidays, inactive as it was. To past the time, the other boys and I had started a game of cards while we waited idly, expecting an uninteresting day. Oh, how wrong were we when received the emergency call.
It was a major car accident. The rapidly building snow had blinded a truck delivering late supplies to their company, causing the truck to swerve right into incoming traffic. Resulting into several cars crashing one after another, it left the city horror-struck.
The station grew busy as officers were pulled from their homes to assist with the crash. I sat behind my desk, amidst the chaos ensuing, and pressed my left cheek on the table. The polished wood was cool on my cheek, and I softly sighed. My eyes slowly focused on a small picture frame that I had propped on the edge of my desk. It was a photo of Sarah; she was wearing the flimsy outfit the hospital had given her, and was beaming at the camera. A small, pink face peeked out of the bundle in her arms. I gazed at it, reminding myself of the woman I once loved, and the baby girl whom I had never given a chance.
“Officer Marks?”
I instantly lifted my head and glanced at the woman who addressed me. I faintly recognized her as Mrs. Caldwell, the mother of the little girl that reminded me of Elisa. I couldn’t help but notice the tear streaks on her face before answering.
“Yes?”
She stared hard at me, and I was sad to see that the laugh lines on her face had turned gaunt and unhappy. The dark blue dress she wore now entirely fit her sombre demeanour.
“Thank you, sir.”
***
Saturday.
Today was my first day off since the incident. January was fast approaching, and out of spontaneity, I decided I needed a bit more festive cheer in my life. After all, I had spent half of Christmas break sitting behind my bureau at the station, or behind the wheel of my patrol car as I sped up and down the city.
I lived alone in my apartment these days and lately, I haven’t had time to stock up the refrigerator with groceries. In fact, given that I preferred the station to my empty apartment, I was rarely at home. It was much more cheerful, really, when you had someone else to share your holidays with.
Arriving at the local supermarket, I wondered vaguely what groceries I needed. It had been a long time since I had done any cooking, and I figured the New Year deserved something special. Snatching one of the last carts, I headed down the aisles one by one.
The supermarket was packed with last minute shoppers. Haggard faces blurred past my eyes as the owners ran around searching for things they were missing. As I watched a couple hurriedly exiting the store, after passing the cashier a thick wad of bills, I nearly collided with a woman. I apologized quickly, but her voice cut me off.
“Liam?”
I looked up at the woman’s face, recognition immediately hitting me.
“Sarah,” I breathed.
***
“I’m leaving you, Liam.”
I glanced up from the stack of papers sitting on my desk, and became aware of Sarah. She was standing in the cramped hallway of the apartment I shared with a college friend, holding a red bag tightly to her chest. Dressed in a plaid jacket, she brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Her lips were pursed into a tight line, and I had a feeling that this wasn’t a standard visit.
“What, no hello?” I asked.
She ignored this, and settled the red bag she always carried around with her since Elisa was born on the floor. She cautiously sat down on the second-hand couch that my roommate and I had crammed in our apartment earlier in the month. Sarah took a deep breath, and repeated, “I’m leaving you, Liam. Elisa and I, we’re moving away.”
I frowned, my eyebrows creasing together. I dropped the pen I was holding, and turned to face towards her. She must be kidding, or at any rate I did not hear her properly. Of course, like any regular couple, we sometimes got into petty fights. Never had it reach the point when one person threatened to leave the other. I tried to get a hold of her hands, but she pulled farther away from me.
“I’m serious, Liam. My parents… they have decided to move to Arizona, and they want me to come along. I decided yesterday… I’m going to go with them. And I’m bringing Elisabeth.”
I grinned at her, thinking it was still a joke. I said, “Arizona? Why on earth would you move there? You belong here with me.”
I was startled to see a flash of emotions pass in her eyes. She was angry - no, she was furious.
“Here, Liam?” She asked in a low voice. “My place is here in this grungy apartment you share with your drunken roommate? No, Liam. I don’t think so.”
I stared at her unsmiling face and felt my jaw slacken as she continued her tirade.
“Do you know what it’s like being a mother, Liam? Well, let me tell you what I have been doing every single day of my life since that night.
“Everyday, I wake up early in the morning, and get ready for my full time job, while you, on the other hand, is still fast asleep on this very bed.” She pointed a shaking finger to my unkempt bed in the corner. “In the meantime, I make Elisa and I our breakfast and lunch as I prepare her for school. After I have dropped Elisa off at, I force myself to get to that horrible job on time, and then I work my butt off for ten hours only to get a measly pay in return - which, may I add, is hardly enough to feed us. After work, I am always half an hour late in picking up Elisa, and even when I am more than ready to drop on the floor as soon as we get home, I don’t. And do you know why that is, Liam?” Sarah was breathing heavily at this point and her voice had risen up an octave. “I can’t even shut my eyes to sleep the exhaustion away because I am forced to feed your daughter, Liam. And where is the father of my child? I ask myself.” She paused, taking another deep breath. “Having parties with his college friends, while working on towards his goal and future career.”
Fuming, she awaited for my answer in vain. I had nothing to say, because in actual fact, all of this was true.
“Liam.” Her tone had changed. She had said my name in desperation, and tears were beginning to form in her eyes. “Liam, please. I gave up my education for Elisa and you. I have done everything for you. Answer me.”
When I didn’t respond, she squeezed her eyes shut, and let the tears fall freely.
Soon after she left, I questioned why I didn’t stop her from leaving me. To me, everything had changed when Elisabeth had been born. I felt awful, but at the same time, I was lost. I was too young to be father. What did she expect from me?
***
“Sarah,” I breathed.
I had always imagined my reunion with Sarah, whenever that was. So when it finally happened, I couldn’t believe it. Things like meeting the mother of the daughter you have not seen in years do not just happen on an ordinary, Saturday morning at the supermarket. There had to be a warning of some sort, something that could have warned me to bring together all the remorse and sorrow I had been feeling over the years and turn it into one big, jumble of the perfect way to formally apologize.
However, I was extremely unprepared for this. Sarah stood uneasily before me, as if regretting in calling my name. Understandably enough, she looked older than I remembered her. There were lines outlining the shape of her face, and her eyes were even more tired and weary. She had cut her hair short, and it was such a startling contrast that I almost reached out to touch it.
It was her turn to say nothing.
At first, we stood there in awkward silence. How do I sum up all of the guilt and regret I have been feeling? How do I convey my poor excuse that I had not known any better at that time? I had alienated Sarah completely after Elisa’s birth, and when she had threatened to leave me, I didn’t even lift a finger to stop her. Everything was my fault, so what could I have said to make things better?
The only thing that came into my mind, and it was the only thing that linked us together despite our distance over the years, was our daughter.
I stepped closer towards the girl I once loved, and wrapped her in an embrace. I felt her body stiffen, but I only tightened my grip in response. I whispered in her ear the only words that I could distinguish from my tangled mind.
“She’s perfect, Sarah. Elisa, I mean. Accidentally perfect. I’m sorry that I didn’t see that before.”