(no subject)
I have internalized the otherwise arbitrary implications of this day, and so am facing the following harsh reality: I am out of second chances on youth.
I got a (barely) passing grade. I think I managed to get all the rites of passage in on time, but like every other deadline I procrastinated away the best time before it and crammed the necessary work in in the last minute. Throughout the process, I felt as though I was doing everything either out of order or just backwards. I still feel either four years too young or six years too old on most things.
So...so much for youth. At least now, the deadline's passed and I can relax about it. And although I did relatively poorly on that section I am hopeful about my performance as a twenty-something. The period of overlap has been pretty solid so far, although I think the next things I need along these lines is a job for after graduation.
The fact that nobody has made a big deal en masse about today attests to a weakening of my social net. But I once wrote here that my preferred kind of celebration is one-on-one encounters with people I care about. This weekend has been full of that: I spent Saturday first with Joshua the Poet, then with secretspice. Sunday I spent mostly with Katie, though I got to see Michael Prospect and some other members of the old freshman unit briefly. Today I went into Cambridge and got to talk with my sister for a bit before eating dinner and conversing with Piotr. Meanwhile, Melanie made me the most awesome chocolate cake. The individual points of contact matter most to me, and I think I'm pretty satisfied, although I might try to top it off by spinning this week's potluck my way.
I got a (barely) passing grade. I think I managed to get all the rites of passage in on time, but like every other deadline I procrastinated away the best time before it and crammed the necessary work in in the last minute. Throughout the process, I felt as though I was doing everything either out of order or just backwards. I still feel either four years too young or six years too old on most things.
So...so much for youth. At least now, the deadline's passed and I can relax about it. And although I did relatively poorly on that section I am hopeful about my performance as a twenty-something. The period of overlap has been pretty solid so far, although I think the next things I need along these lines is a job for after graduation.
The fact that nobody has made a big deal en masse about today attests to a weakening of my social net. But I once wrote here that my preferred kind of celebration is one-on-one encounters with people I care about. This weekend has been full of that: I spent Saturday first with Joshua the Poet, then with secretspice. Sunday I spent mostly with Katie, though I got to see Michael Prospect and some other members of the old freshman unit briefly. Today I went into Cambridge and got to talk with my sister for a bit before eating dinner and conversing with Piotr. Meanwhile, Melanie made me the most awesome chocolate cake. The individual points of contact matter most to me, and I think I'm pretty satisfied, although I might try to top it off by spinning this week's potluck my way.