The thoughts that come with painting...
My Fathers Day weekend was busy and full, definitely not relaxing much. It started with Santiago (being completely awesome) swinging by and giving us a ride to June Crown for a day trip. Spending the rest of the day working my tail off on about a half a dozen different topics, holy crap was it a busy day! Then once we all had our fill and then some we ran like crazy for home. It was an overall productive day and I really enjoyed the drive to and from. We had some great discussions and pretty much came to the conclusions that various parts of the known world need nuked from orbit… well ok maybe all of it but that’s just because I’m a sadistic S.O.B.
So this morning was my Fathers Day and after a great breakfast made by my lovely wife, I spent 5 very tiring hours painting my landlords house downtown. I’m happy that he gives me the opportunity to help pay off some of my utilities, but damn it makes for a long weekend. The one good thing about spending five hours painting is it gives you a lot of time to think. I was able to clear up some questions I have been having and work through some issues. I think I have come to some good conclusions but only time will tell. Most of my questions where concerning friends and acquaintances and how I react to them. I feel as if I have been putting more into some relationships then I was getting out of them, so it doesn’t mean I’m giving up on those relationships it’s just a time for reprioritizing how I interact and what to expect from people.
It’s funny but people always expect individuals like me to be cold and disconnected. But people who have served or who have given themselves for the greater good actually do care. Hell we care more then most because we are willing to give up our lives or our sanities for others. LOL reading this really makes it sound mellow dramatic as hell. What ever it is, how ever you see it, it all boils down to something that I can’t even describe. Do I feel that I am better then others or more deserving then others? No not even a little bit. I’m just writing this to give those within the sound of my keyboard an insight into what I’m trying to say. I have had some people question why I try and make people laugh like I do, or why I try and crack the jokes even when it’s tense. It’s really simple I do these things because I care and I believe I’m capable, also because it’s easier to laugh then to cry and sometimes good for the soul.
Up above I mentioned the “greater good”, what does that really mean? Or is there even such a thing as that in today’s society, I have no F-in clue! I guess I have tried to copy my life after my childhood heroes. Those were the stories I read of the Samurai and their code of Honor and Duty. Now I have read enough to know that not all Samurai where virtuous or that they even cared about anyone other than themselves. But like I said it was those stories that I read as a kid that gave me a direction. It’s why I started in Search and Rescue in High School and why I joined the military after High School. It’s why when I was fed up with trying to get to know a father who didn’t really want to know me, I joined the Highway Patrol. I’ve done all this because they needed doing for all the people who can’t take care of themselves. I don’t ask for much in return, I’m not even sure if I would know how. Is all this rambling doing any good, not for others but it is helping me get it all off my chest. Thank you to all those who listened and a very special thank you to all those close to me who I consider my sounding boards. It means a lot to me and it makes things that need doing all that much easier to do.