maybe this is a clearer understanding
with my actions are a prime example of how i am confusing to understand but when you know me really well everything makes sense. thats why i dont like people to just get small facts or know certain things because it often throws people off, and then they get lost in my thinking instead of trying to understand and comprehend the way i have the reasoning of thinking and acting the way i do.
honestly i wsh i had all the answers, but i dont. thats why recently ive been getting ready for neurological testing. im thinking that if most others cant understand me then i might be able to understand myself and possibly get a better knowlege of myself to empower myself and possibly make others understand (possibly also give a background if there is some diagnosis or something) that will show in the results to help everythig become more fluent and give me something to articulate and use to help with others to understand.
kinda like how i need some form of chaos always, people are like that makes no sense?!
and unless you very intelligent, know alot of psychology, or know me really well you dotn get a clear understanding.
all that i can express cleary...is that me living and doing the behaviors and actions i do is completely logical to me...no matter how fucked up and different it is. everything i say, do, and act on; makes complete sense to me. its all completely logical in my mind. its not that it doesnt make sense, and that i am in my own complete world (somethimes i am but...) its that it fits everything stressful, unexplainable, or sometimes even easy choices for others, to my mind frame perfectly. it all peices together. its all an elaborate scheme or colors that blend and compliment my life situations perfectly for what is logical to me. even trying to explain this i feel like its going to be completely confusing and losse everyone at the first couple sentences, but there is a basic more short explanation:
BELOW IS ALL THE ABOVE MORE UNDERSTABLE
( all the above on a more understanding note...had to get help from mom and two friends to articulate things differntly then i do..because if again if you dont know me or dont read alot of my writing most of the above is confusing and very abstract from regular writing methods. )
i have a different mind then others. i think completely differently than others. i percieve things completely differently from what the real meaning are. its hard to follow not abstract or any thinking that isnt like mine. testing will open up the diagnosis and important segments that i can research and understand myself more to inform others and understand my mind and thinking why i am like the way i am.
honestly i wsh i had all the answers, but i dont. thats why recently ive been getting ready for neurological testing. im thinking that if most others cant understand me then i might be able to understand myself and possibly get a better knowlege of myself to empower myself and possibly make others understand (possibly also give a background if there is some diagnosis or something) that will show in the results to help everythig become more fluent and give me something to articulate and use to help with others to understand.
kinda like how i need some form of chaos always, people are like that makes no sense?!
and unless you very intelligent, know alot of psychology, or know me really well you dotn get a clear understanding.
all that i can express cleary...is that me living and doing the behaviors and actions i do is completely logical to me...no matter how fucked up and different it is. everything i say, do, and act on; makes complete sense to me. its all completely logical in my mind. its not that it doesnt make sense, and that i am in my own complete world (somethimes i am but...) its that it fits everything stressful, unexplainable, or sometimes even easy choices for others, to my mind frame perfectly. it all peices together. its all an elaborate scheme or colors that blend and compliment my life situations perfectly for what is logical to me. even trying to explain this i feel like its going to be completely confusing and losse everyone at the first couple sentences, but there is a basic more short explanation:
BELOW IS ALL THE ABOVE MORE UNDERSTABLE
( all the above on a more understanding note...had to get help from mom and two friends to articulate things differntly then i do..because if again if you dont know me or dont read alot of my writing most of the above is confusing and very abstract from regular writing methods. )
i have a different mind then others. i think completely differently than others. i percieve things completely differently from what the real meaning are. its hard to follow not abstract or any thinking that isnt like mine. testing will open up the diagnosis and important segments that i can research and understand myself more to inform others and understand my mind and thinking why i am like the way i am.