This is not about sports (ignore the photo)
Jim Harbaugh will run, not walk, at Michigan
I had lunch today at my favorite neighborhood hangout, and while I was waiting for my burger, the television was tuned in to a telecast of Jim Harbaugh being named the head football coach at Michigan. At least, I think those are the correct proper nouns. I don’t know for sure because I don’t follow college football at all and pay attention only sporadically to the pro game.
A graphic on the screen during Harbaugh’s press conference noted his salary would be $5 million a year for seven years, plus incentives. This is the main reason I don’t follow college football. Because of the money involved, college sports-especially at major universities-are decadent and depraved.
I had nothing better to do than listen, though, and Harbaugh made a remark I’ve heard countless time but never really thought about: He said he was going to “hit the ground running.”
This could be taken at least two ways. Does he mean he’s already running and is going to reach down and punch the ground while he runs? I suppose this could be done. Then again, before my knees went bad, I was a distance runner, but I only hit the ground running once, in high school, when I fell in a tangle of legs in the second turn.
But I think the real connotation behind the cliché is that a person is suspended in mid-air, so to speak, above the situation she or he is heading into, and this person will hit the ground running, which is impossible, because no one can run in the air, even with arms and legs churning. But what would happen when those churning arms and legs made contact with the ground? The person would fall flat, either onto the face or the ass. I mean, watch old newsreel footage of World War II paratroopers. Their legs aren’t even moving, and they fall down when they hit the ground.
At least Harbaugh didn’t say he was going to give a 110 percent effort. Or maybe he did. By that time, though, I was eating my burger.