Christmas Morning

[patrick_koster]

Follows this.He woke up feeling a bit disorientated, vaguely remembering regaining consciousness some time during the night and after a few words from the doctor, falling into a restless sleep again. The pain was still there, but nowhere near as bad as it had been when he firs woke up last night. Grateful for small favors, Patrick allowed the nurse

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Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

He checked his pockets for the hundredth time that morning, making sure the packages were in there. Sam was organised to send over the meals with one of the regular barmen who'd volunteered to drive them over to the hospital for them, and the bar was decorated for Christmas lunch. Bookings had been thin at first, but in the last week had picked up.

Riding up in the lift Brendan rubbed at his chin, trying to think if he'd forgotten anything. There was something nudging him but he couldn't figure it out, which bugged him. He passed down the now-familiar corridor and reached his hand out to open Patrick's door. It was as if the door handle was repelled by his hand, a nurse having reached it just as he had and pulled it open.

"Oh!" She jumped, startled when she saw Brendan and his outstretched hand. "Oh lordy me, you scared the living daylights outta me!" she told him, laughing. "Merry Christmas to you Brendan," she continued, pushing the trolley she had with her out of the way.

"And same to you, Denise," Brendan replied, holding the door open for her. "How's our patient this morning?" he asked, jerking his head toward the bed and man in the room. "Behaving himself is he?"

"Why you know, I think he is!" she chortled, glancing back across at Patrick and giving him a wink. "He only played wheelchair derby till 2am this time, so's had a good couple of hours sleep I think."

Brendan grinned at her, chuckling at her good humour. "Well I hope you have a good day, and enjoy your Christmas dinner when you get to it." He let the door go as she returned the sentiment and moved off down the hall. When he turned and headed over to the bed he could see the hint of dark shadows under Patrick's eyes. "So, did you win the races, or what?" he asked, concern in his eyes belying the humour in his voice.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

Patrick smirked. "Of course - don't I look awfully happy about it?" He shook his head, the thought of getting out of bed rather ludicrous given how he'd been feeling last night. Yet he couldn't deny that it was appealing at the same time: one of these days perhaps. "Come here," he said quietly, holding his hand out to Brendan as the man approached the bed.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

Brendan took Patrick's hand and bent down to kiss him, lingering a little as his lips pressed to his lover's. "Happy birthday," he murmured before kissing him again.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

He smiled into the kiss and closed his eyes, his fingers tightening around Brendan's: it had been a long time since anyone had said that to him, he couldn't even remember who had said it last or when. "Thanks," he mumbled and slowly blinked his eyes open again and looked up at Brendan. "Sort of forgot about that myself, really."

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

"Yeah, well, sorry, wasn't going to let it pass without note," Brendan returned, smiling as he straightened up. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a giftwrapped package, putting it in Patrick's good hand. He'd made sure the woman wrapping it had not used too much sticking tape. 'He's a broken arm and while he can move his fingers and all, his arms in a plaster and brace and he can't move it,' he explained to her, so she made it as simple as possible to remove the paper.

"C'n give you a hand if you need it," he said, "but it shouldn't be too hard."

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

He swallowed a few times when Brendan handed him the package, muttering another thank you in a barely audible voice, not quite used to anyone giving him gifts. Unwrapping it was a bit awkward, but he really needed to do it himself, aware of the fact that once he got home Brendan wouldn't be around to wait on him hand and foot.

Once he'd finally managed to remove the paper and looked at the silver iPod in his hand, Patrick couldn't do anything but smile, because he'd thought of getting one - something else to do other than reading when he found himself unable to sleep again - but had never mentioned it to Brendan. Nor had he mentioned that he wasn't sleeping much here either, and yet Brendan had known just what to get him.

He raised his gaze to meet Brendan's, blinking up at the man, and for the first time since he'd been in hospital his smile actually reached his eyes and he nodded. "Thanks, Brendan," he said, his voice audible this time, yet a little hoarse.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

Brendan couldn't help but grin from ear to ear when he saw the look on Patrick's face. He fished around in his pocket again, and pulled out another one, identical to the one Patrick had in his hand. "I'm glad y' like it, cuz otherwise I'd have to redo this," he told him, holding out the second iPod. "I've already loaded a heap of songs on here, and a couple of movies. Will take that one there home and load it up with some more movies, if you like," he added.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

"That'd be brilliant, thanks," Patrick said and took the second iPod from Brendan, absently realizing that he'd been thanking Brendan over and over again for the past few minutes. But then again, it wasn't like he could ever thank the man enough anyway.

He shook his head at himself, blinking a couple more times and swallowing repeatedly before asking, "What did you load onto it?" Asking the question because, now holding both Ipods, he couldn't check for himself but also because he needed something to distract him from getting oddly emotional all of a sudden.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

Brendan listed the two movies, both action thrillers, and a number of artists whom he knew Patrick enjoyed. "And of coure some 'elevator music'," he joked, grinning at Patrick as he mentioned it. "Know how much you love that." He'd found it amusing that an album by a well known actor from a television series had been titled Elevator Musak, and that Patrick enjoyed listening to it, given his loathing of the elevator to the apartment.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

He couldn't really recall when he'd first come across that particular CD but assumed it was while he was in jail. If anything it had been good for broadening his horizon in many aspects, he smirked. "It's good stuff," Patrick said seriously, grateful that Brendan had given him, deliberately or not, a moment to recover.

Perhaps it had something to do with the rather unpleasant night he'd had, but he wasn't used to feeling this way and it was making him feel uncomfortable, vulnerable almost. "Don't knock it till you've tried it, mate."

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

Brendan was putting some clean clothes away in the small cupboard provided in the room for such, and turned to look at Patrick. "Hey! I'm not knocking it," he returned. "Just saying," he continued, "what's on there. Have a look through it, see if there's anything in particular you can think of that you want, and I'll download it onto this one." He'd returned to Patrick's bedside, taking the empty one from Patrick's fingers and putting it back in the box. He untangled the ear pieces and handed them over.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

"Thanks." Taking the ear pieces from Brendan's hand was still a little difficult, it felt unnatural having to do so much with his right hand and he wasn't sure he'd be able to get the hang of it before he was discharged. When he finally managed to get the ear piece in without too much silent cursing, Patrick actually got around to checking out what Brendan had stored on this iPod.

Absently rubbing at both eyes, Patrick smiled as he noticed some familiar songs there that he hadn't heard in years and he was rather impressed - and touched - that Brendan had remembered some of his old favorites as well.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

Brendan pulled out the instruction booklet that came with the small media players, and started reading bits of it again, as he'd only just read how to load music onto it in a hurry after the shop assistant had given him some instruction. He'd spent a fair bit of time the previous night figuring out the website and how to do it all, and was now interested in what else they could do with them.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

When he glanced up and found Brendan reading the instruction manual, Patrick had to smile, once again touched by the fact that Brendan had gone to this much trouble for him. Still smiling Patrick tried the shuffle option, and after skipping the first song after a few seconds, the intro of the second song started and Patrick froze, staring down at his iPod, a look of disbelief crossing his face.

He clenched his jaw as if preparing himself for pain, he hadn't heard this song in years and he wasn't sure how he felt about hearing it again, wasn't sure how he felt about his eyes tearing up. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, convinced - and determined - that he wasn't going to cry. He couldn't even remember the last time he had and he wasn't going to now. He couldn't.

If it's a mirror you want
Just look into my eyes
Or a whipping boy
Someone to despise
Or a prisoner in the dark
Tied up in chains you just can't see
Or a beast in a gilded cage
That's all some people ever want to be.

But it was too late, the tears that had been threatening to fall most of the morning finally breaking free as the all too familiar lines reached his ears, and he found himself unable to do anything other than just listen, the tears he could no longer hold back rolling down his cheeks.

You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live
We can't live here and be happy with less
So many riches
So many souls
With everything we see that we want to possess.

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[stormybrendan]

Brendan looked up, about to tell Patrick what he'd just read about games, when he saw the tears rolling down his face. He drops the booklet and stands quickly, the smile that had been there quickly fadin till his face was riddled with concern. "What's the matter?"

Re: Christmas day and birthday, all in one

[patrick_koster]

If you need somebody, call my name
If you want someone, you can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
If you want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me

If you love somebody, set them free

He was vaguely aware of Brendan standing up and speaking to him, but the man's words didn't really register. Nor did the fact that for the first time in about twenty-five years he was doing the one thing he'd promised himself he'd never do again.

Memories, thoughts and mental images intertwine and, much like hearing this song again, things he hasn't thought of in years suddenly pop up, doing nothing to stop the tears from running down his face.