Confusion in the air
Here I sit once again, typing in this thing. Today has been an okay day. Nothing really happened. I don't know what to think about myself anymore. I am not happy with myself, but I never really have been so it's nothing new. I heard that someone I know asked another someone I am close to if I was gaining weight, Yeah it's true I have but if someone else gained weight no one would notice, but since it's me everyone has to comment on it. So I am 126 lbs when I am dressed, my shoes weigh 2.5lbs lol so that is were a lil of the weight comes from, but I love my shoes. I really want to lose some weight, but I am not sure how to go about doing so. It bothers me that people I know thing I am so ugly, but yet again they don't know how to tell me.
Hell, I don't know what to think anymore. I am about to the point where I just don't fucking care, if I am so fucking ugly they don't have to look at me. My mother loves to call me fat, but she has no room to talk, she is on the heavy side of life herself and has been for years, but I never ever tell her that, I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, but it seems as though the people in my life thrive on causing me pain.
Who knows. I am sure no one reading this wants to hear about my pathetic little life. I know that there are people who are much worse off than myself, so I try not to complain or get too down about my life. I am not even sure if anyone reads this journal, but I hope they do. If anyone is reading this please feel free to leave me a comment. Annabear I sure miss you and I am sorry that I couldn't chat this afternoon. I feel as though we have a special bond, and I know that you always understand me.
I am going to go for now, maybe I will write some more later. I just feel like thinking, or maybe I don't.
Patience
Hell, I don't know what to think anymore. I am about to the point where I just don't fucking care, if I am so fucking ugly they don't have to look at me. My mother loves to call me fat, but she has no room to talk, she is on the heavy side of life herself and has been for years, but I never ever tell her that, I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, but it seems as though the people in my life thrive on causing me pain.
Who knows. I am sure no one reading this wants to hear about my pathetic little life. I know that there are people who are much worse off than myself, so I try not to complain or get too down about my life. I am not even sure if anyone reads this journal, but I hope they do. If anyone is reading this please feel free to leave me a comment. Annabear I sure miss you and I am sorry that I couldn't chat this afternoon. I feel as though we have a special bond, and I know that you always understand me.
I am going to go for now, maybe I will write some more later. I just feel like thinking, or maybe I don't.
Patience