close my eyes and move to the back of my mind.
so today i got my hairs cut. but no one ever notices. i do. and thats all that matters.
i also bought tons of jeans yesterday. cause well mine are all too big. but my crack still hangs out. apparently matt has noticed since he started working there. and he was like "i wonder if i should tell her. I mean i can see it, so customers probably do too...should i tell her. " but that was before we weren't as close. now he tells me all the time. but everyone is kind of used to it. and then he asked if i had a long crack. and i was confused. so we were kinda trying to measure. we are weird. and he is too much. I'm sorry to hear about that....well no actually i'm not.
so just the same stuff. work. school. gym. quite repetative.
so much going through my head. just so much to think about.
i'm just taking it all one day at a time.
doing things for myself. and nobody else.
i'm trying to be selfish. its so hard.
i just want to be happy.
everyone to be happy.
things happen for a reason.
everything happens for a reason.
I’m scared of what’s to come and what’s to come undone in the end.
All that my life’s become is time for me to run and pretend that my mind will live again.
Hurry Self, think quickly... I feel blood in my lungs and I’m dying to live.
This pain was made by recipe, it’s not out on my skin.
It’s in my mind in knowing I won’t live again.
i also bought tons of jeans yesterday. cause well mine are all too big. but my crack still hangs out. apparently matt has noticed since he started working there. and he was like "i wonder if i should tell her. I mean i can see it, so customers probably do too...should i tell her. " but that was before we weren't as close. now he tells me all the time. but everyone is kind of used to it. and then he asked if i had a long crack. and i was confused. so we were kinda trying to measure. we are weird. and he is too much. I'm sorry to hear about that....well no actually i'm not.
so just the same stuff. work. school. gym. quite repetative.
so much going through my head. just so much to think about.
i'm just taking it all one day at a time.
doing things for myself. and nobody else.
i'm trying to be selfish. its so hard.
i just want to be happy.
everyone to be happy.
things happen for a reason.
everything happens for a reason.
I’m scared of what’s to come and what’s to come undone in the end.
All that my life’s become is time for me to run and pretend that my mind will live again.
Hurry Self, think quickly... I feel blood in my lungs and I’m dying to live.
This pain was made by recipe, it’s not out on my skin.
It’s in my mind in knowing I won’t live again.