it seems what used to be has changed.
i don't know where to start. i'm a wreck. basically a mess i guess. I can't sleep. and i should be tired. but i'm not. this sucks. and who would've ever thought me and you would be here. not me. not anyone i don't think. i don't know what to do. everything seems so blurry. so confusing. neither of us know what to do. i wish i had all the answers. but i don't. i never will. i wish i had everything all figured out still. i wish we would've talked sooner. i wish i could change a lot of things but i can't. i hate that we are two different people. when we should be one. i still love you so fucking much. and i'm scared. and i know you keep saying everything will be fine. and i'm trying so hard to believe you. but its not fine. i'm not fine. i've never felt like this before. i hate it. and i feel helpless. i know you're there for me. but i still feel so alone. and i hate the fact that you think i'll forget you. i can't forget you. four years is such a long time to just forget somebody. and i understand that this isn't anyones fault. but its just me. and i just can't help feeling that i could have done something. and i understand time isnt' on our side. and i feel selfish for wanting to be your everything. i can't expect to be your everything all of the time. but i do. and i know school and work need to come first right now. as much as that sucks, i understand. thats how its always been. and why was it ok then, but not ok now. i dont' know. i just don't want you to regret this. and i'm scared that i might regret this. its a chance that we both have to take i guess. this sucks. and i feel like i've let you down. and i just want us to both be happy.
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
But the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Try
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn (the more I learn), the more I cry (the more I cry)
As I say goodbye to a way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try
All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
That's you, baby
This is me, baby
We are, we are, we are
We are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
But the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Try
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn (the more I learn), the more I cry (the more I cry)
As I say goodbye to a way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try
All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
That's you, baby
This is me, baby
We are, we are, we are
We are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love