Don't Flatter Yourself 2
Title: Don’t Flatter Yourself
Pairing: Faris/Josh
Rating: 15
POV: 1st; Faris’
Writer: patchworkwounds
Beta: None
Summery: Faris is ANNOYED, Rhys is condescending and things happen to Tom.
I stared at the door for what felt like forever before I started to shriek.
“JOSH YOU LITTLE FUCKER! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN SMASH YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN” A bit overdramatic Faris. I barrelled across the room and wrenched open the door, colliding with someone on the other side. It was Josh.
“You fuck! You k-“ I very nearly said ‘kissed me’ but Rhys and Tom were lurking by the van and I had been humiliated enough for one day. “You smashed my head against the wall!” I tangled my fingers in my hair; pulled my hand away and triumphantly waved my bloody fingers under his nose. “See.”
He snatched my fingers and pretended to inspect them.
“Poor baby.” He cooed. Then he stuck my fingers in his mouth and began to suck them. For a spilt second I stood still, horrified.
Just as I screamed in outrage, somewhere in the background Tom began choking. I fisted my free hand brought it flying up to collide with the side of Josh’s nose. He staggered back with a yelp, clutching at his nose.
“What the fuck was that for?!” He screeched at me.
I folded my arms, making a mental note to wash my hand as soon as possible. “You were being inappropriately disgusting. And I did not approve.” He sulked at me, pouting his lips like a chastened child. Tom was still coughing and spluttering behind me, I ignored him as Josh had curled his own fingers over the bridge of his nose and was looking more pathetically adorable than he had any right to be. I frowned. What is he doing to me?
I turned on my heel walking past the van, I couldn’t stand him, as I stalked past Tom I thumped him on the back. The spluttering ceased, thankfully, I was trying to think! Rhys yelled in annoyance but I was having none of it. People couldn’t take me for granted you know; it’s all Faris do this and Faris stand over there. I turned the corner. They cannot just start randomly kissing and sucking me.
I stopped and shuddered. That did not sound good, even in my head.
“Who pissed in your breakfast then?” Arms folded across my chest I spun round to glower at Rhys. Unfortunately I managed to get hair in my eyes. Much cursing and infuriation followed. Finally I pulled together a halfway decent glare. Rhys seemed unfazed.
“You can’t go around hitting your bandmates you know, it’s bad publicity.”
“What? Since when did you care about publicity?” Everyone has gone mad… madder than usual anyway.
“Since you started generating a negative image. Besides it was only Josh messing around. Why’d you get so worked up?”
There is no way in hell I’m telling him. “He stuck my fingers in his gob.”
“He sticks things in his mouth all the time. And molests people’s faces, it’s the next logically step.”
“LOGICAL??? THERE IS NOTHING LOGICAL ABOUT JOSH!” I realised my hands were flailing and quickly stuffed them in my pockets.
Rhys was smiling at me in a superior manner, nodding in fake sympathy. He patted my arm, muttering; “Yes, yes of course Faris. Now we have a show to play, have you seen Joe?” I shook my head, stunned into silence again, “Oh well, he must still be shopping.”
A/N: Bit short, I know.