a smattering of badness
It’s been 6 weeks, and still, we are feeling critters crawl on us in the night. This morning I woke up with a smattering of bright red bites on my cheek. I look like an adolescent with acne. Tomorrow I have to teach with my face looking a fright.
Today Andrew and I met with our new apartment manager, who made more promises. We don’t know if they are merely appeasing us or if they truly are working toward a solution. We are trapped. No visitors. No Lilo anymore, either. We really miss her.
And just when I think things truly suck ass, I get my wallet stolen as I’m walking home from school yesterday. I was about a ½ mile from our apartment, and some motherfucker brushed up against me and stuck his dirty hand in my open bag, and snatched my wallet. Yesterday, I dissolved into tears that seemed to emanate from this truly beastlike part of my being. My chest was heaving-I simply couldn’t breathe.
I have had a handful of moments like this, since Andy and I left Michigan. I want Lilo back. I miss her every moment. I miss my mom. I miss the familiar faces, the scenery. Going back for the weekend wasn't even worth it for me, as I got so sick.
I am tired of struggling with Andy-of dealing with these strange scenarios. I am sick of my hopes going up and down and forth and back with these fucking bugs. I am sick of feeling in the dark, lost, and…toyed with. I want to merely focus on my classes, which I love…and my teaching, which is great.
The only 2 things saving my soul right now are Andy and the university. Those two things are what I have, and cling to.
Today Andrew and I met with our new apartment manager, who made more promises. We don’t know if they are merely appeasing us or if they truly are working toward a solution. We are trapped. No visitors. No Lilo anymore, either. We really miss her.
And just when I think things truly suck ass, I get my wallet stolen as I’m walking home from school yesterday. I was about a ½ mile from our apartment, and some motherfucker brushed up against me and stuck his dirty hand in my open bag, and snatched my wallet. Yesterday, I dissolved into tears that seemed to emanate from this truly beastlike part of my being. My chest was heaving-I simply couldn’t breathe.
I have had a handful of moments like this, since Andy and I left Michigan. I want Lilo back. I miss her every moment. I miss my mom. I miss the familiar faces, the scenery. Going back for the weekend wasn't even worth it for me, as I got so sick.
I am tired of struggling with Andy-of dealing with these strange scenarios. I am sick of my hopes going up and down and forth and back with these fucking bugs. I am sick of feeling in the dark, lost, and…toyed with. I want to merely focus on my classes, which I love…and my teaching, which is great.
The only 2 things saving my soul right now are Andy and the university. Those two things are what I have, and cling to.