Changing World [WMC: Lindsay/Cindy]
FANDOM: Women’s Murder Club
PAIRING: Lindsay/ Cindy
RATING: PG-references to death
DISCLAIMER: Women's Murder Club and its characters are the property of James Patterson, 20th Century Fox Television and ABC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Passion & Perfection. All others with the permission of the author, only.
A/N: Song is “Collide” by Howie Day.
A Changing World
The dawn is breaking, a light shining through.
You’re barely waking and I’m tangled up in you, yeah.
Sunlight cut through the open blinds, heating her face and causing her to blink awake. Once she was feeling alert, Cindy Thomas leaned back against the couch cushions watching as the dark-haired woman in her arms stirred slightly and mumbled in the pre-dawn light. Reaching out a tentative hand, she gently stroked the hair back off of Lindsay Boxer’s forehead. Lindsay quieted instantly at Cindy’s touch, generating a gentle smile from the redhead.
I’m open, you’re closed, where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face light up again
She didn’t know how long she laid there, watching as Lindsay worked her way back to wakefulness, wondering how her world would be different today than this same time yesterday. Yesterday, the world made sense. She was a junior reporter, and Lindsay was an experienced homicide inspector. They worked well together, so well that at times they were like two halves of the same coin. But there were clear limits to her relationship with Lindsay, limits that she accepted even though she wished she didn’t have to.
Her world had rules then. It made perfect sense-but then yesterday had happened. Lindsay had finally caught up to Kiss-Me-Not; she vanquished him and in the process she lost her father. It had been late indeed when the knock on her front door had roused Cindy from awkward sleep on her couch. Pushing a copy of Harper’s Weekly off her chest, Cindy had staggered to the door to find a tearful Lindsay standing on her doorstep. Without thought or hesitation, Cindy had opened her arms and had been shocked when Lindsay stepped into them without hesitation of her own. Cindy had done the only thing she could-pulling Lindsay to the couch, she had held her close, doing her best at soothing and comforting her until early in the morning when Lindsay had finally fallen into a fitful sleep. In the middle of that night of whispered regrets, prayers, tears and confessions, something had changed irrevocably. Cindy knew without a doubt that things would never be the same between them again.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
Lindsay could count every bone in her body, as she lay aching like she had never ached before. It was early morning, judging by the slant of the light coming through the window blinds. There was a warm, soft body behind her, and arms wrapped comfortingly around her body. Though her body ached and her soul felt scorched, she felt completely safe at that moment in time. Considering all that had happened to her yesterday and all that she had lost, the fact that she felt that way was nothing short of amazing.
Giving in to the morning light, she turned slightly to find Cindy awake and watching her. Cindy smiled slightly as Lindsay met her gaze, and though she clearly could see now that Lindsay was awake, she did not release her. It was an interesting feeling, being held this way by Cindy, and yet not as awkward as she’d have thought yesterday. Then again, yesterday seemed like another lifetime compared to today.
Lindsay wondered if Cindy was feeling the same way she was. Judging by the look on the redheads face, she’d guess affirmatively.
I’m quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I’ve found I’m scared to know
I’m always on your mind
As Lindsay listened to Cindy moving around in her kitchen, making coffee, she found her mind working back over the events of last night, from the point at which she had left the hospital. Why had her car seemed almost to steer itself to Cindy’s place? Jill’s apartment was closer to the hospital, and Jill and Lindsay had been friends longer that Cindy and Lindsay had. Why Cindy? It seemed that in the midst of tragedy, things you never knew you felt suddenly revealed themselves. And sometimes when you thought no one was listening, they were.
Cindy walked into the living room, tripping over a pile of books and clothes but managing to save both cups of coffee, a feat which greatly impressed Lindsay. “Sorry,” Cindy said as she handed Lindsay a cup, “It’s a mess, I know, I just… don’t have people over that often.”
Lindsay just shrugged, and took a sip of the coffee, which was divine. It cleared her head and she could think clearly again. Cindy sat down on the arm of the couch, leaning back against the wall and clutching her coffee cup in both hands. Lindsay couldn’t help but notice how Cindy kept stealing glances her way and then looking away quickly as though anxious not to offend. She hid a smile as she looked Cindy’s way. “It’s fine,” Linsday said quietly, “I just don’t know what to say to thank you.”
Cindy blinked and cocked her head. “Thank me? For what?”
Lindsay gestured at the couch between them. “For… letting me stay with you. For being there when I needed you.”
“Oh. You’re welcome,” Cindy said, and then paused, “I’m so sorry, Linds. Anything I can do… just let me know.”
Lindsay looked away at this, taking a moment to swallow hard, blinking back the tears that threatened to flow. Her mind reached, grasping for something, anything, to take away this moment. She thought back to the dark hours of the night, to small hands smoothing through her hair, a quiet voice murmuring loving words against her neck, and warm arms wrapped around her. “Did you mean it?” she asked finally.
She wasn’t looking at Cindy, but she could hear the confusion in her voice. “Yeah… anything you need-“
“No,” Lindsay said, “Not that. What you said last night; what you did.”
She turned to look Cindy directly in the eye watching as confusion faded to something more like fear. Cindy looked down at the floor and chewed nervously on her lower lip. “You, uh, you weren’t asleep?”
Lindsay shook her head, feeling almost guilty. “I wasn’t asleep.”
“Oh.”
Cindy’s voice was so small and scared that Lindsay couldn’t stand it anymore. She slid over closer to her, reaching up and pulling the coffee mug away from her grasp. She sat both mugs on the coffee table and then reached for Cindy, pulling her close. She expected more resistance, but Cindy’s form slumped against her, head buried in hands. She leaned her head against Cindy’s. “Me too, you know.”
There was a distinct pause. “But… what about Pete?”
Lindsay paused herself. “Pete is a distraction. To keep me from thinking about you. And not a successful one, either, might I add.”
“Really?” Cindy’s voice was filled with hope and light and it healed Lindsay’s aching soul.
Lindsay turned her head to meet Cindy’s eyes. “Really.”
After a brief pause, Lindsay added, “And I love you too, Cindy. I always have.”
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide