F~@K, My Mom Said.
My mother said "fuck" today. She did. I've know her, well, since the day I was born, and she's never said fuck before... I think it was that meeting she went to. Somewhere between the to and from of the whole fudging thing, she's been body swapped by some alien person. But, if this one cooks better, we're keeping her
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This was a fascinating piece of writing that hit upon a bunch of topics I'm familiar with. First, I completely understand living at home and watching your mother go through menopause. It is a strange, yet fascinating thing to witness. And, truly my mother seemed to become a different woman overnight. Obviously, part of that must have been her hitting 50 and hitting a phase in her life where gives no fucks. Period. LOL.
Second, the cultural commentary/history lesson on Indian cultural familial dynamics (in particular between the married couple). Certainly witnessed much of that in my own family (extended and otherwise). Of course, my family is Pakistani and years of living in the US have Americanized us quite a bit, but certain things you can't really get away from. If it's not coming from immediate family, I can witness it in the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
I laughed a little at the, "I'm meant to be her student in training, constantly told to bend and compromise - culturally coded words that teach me to somewhat fear and give in when I shift into my new environment... my marital home... " because, yeah, I used to get that. Not so much since they got on board with the whole gay thing. ;)
But, umm, yeah. Just really enjoyed reading that and wanted to let you know. :)
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Yes! Thank you! I know it's kind of weird and a little one off to be writing about my Maa's menopause, but I honestly believe that if we just tried to understand it all (with some science in the mix) it would be a little easier on all of us.
Then to the layered social existence...I guess there is a lot of overlap there too? I'm Indian, North-Indian, Hindu with Buddhist beliefs (in the dogma, not as dogma, but as a cool way to just be), have had an anglophile education, grew up on books & shows from all over, I'm Bengali but have grown up in New-Delhi. So, I'd imagine that psycho-social and filial existence and interactions would be defined expediently by this point; I'm 'more' Bengali when my Calcutta (now Kolkata, thanks to Mamata Banerji, the Chief Minister of Bengal and now corruption scandal accused politician) relatives come over etc. It's impossible to just be one consolidated being anymore, right? But, I ramble...I do that, a lot.
Moving on to how you related to the whole "in training thing." That too is something that would happen with any woman on the cusp of 'marriageability' (can I just say, blekh?! I refuse to be mature and grown-up about it.) But, I somehow believe that if I were gay and my mother would've been okay with it (note that 'okay' is as far as that ship would sail to) then she would still council me on cooking and how to keep a marriage 'fresh' (yes mother...I will pack it in cellophane wrap and store it at the right temperature!! No! I'm not mocking you...okay maybe a little, I am). She would also say something like "Beta, how do you know she's a decent cook?" ----- "I had her blood tested maa."
Luckily (for my family, I don't know if it's lucky for me...men are surprisingly stupid most of the time...I keep thinking that maybe it will be endearing when I fall in love...but I smell B. S.), I like men, so the only real question after making sure that the guy is madly to moderately in love with me will be if he's not a deadbeat hanger-on. Hopefully he won't be.
I know that was a very long reply to your comment, but it seemed like there was a lot to tackle.
Sincerely,
Pasha.
P. S. - Thanks for commenting...I was just ranting because it's less insane than talking with myself. But, it's mighty cool of you to read and spend some time on a reply.
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