Oh geez...
Hi Leslie,
One day you'll understand how we feel in these moments. I stayed strong until you got on to the bus and then I couldn't anymore. I tried to not let them see me, but eventually they saw me. Bebel wanted to take us before the bus left but we obligated him not to. We stayed.
I loved when we hugged while we waited for the bus to leave and of course, your facial expressions while you read my note. Above everything else I'll never forget the moment when you hugged me after reading it. I'll remember that forever. It was the most beautiful hug I've been waiting to give you for weeks. I wanted to hug you every day but I didn't out of fear of you rejecting me.
After the bus left we got into the car and all of us were silent. I couldn't keep from crying while Fernando shared his condolences. We bought food and we went to the house. Dinner felt so strange today (Saturday); everything was done in silence, no one spoke, only Bebel once in a while. I wasn't too hungry. We finished eating and cleaned up. Along with Fernando we took the sheets off of your beds because the next group was coming, and we finally had time and space to wash our own clothes.
The whole house is completely silent. I went to the office to listen to some music so I could remember the days you were in the house. Do you remember the other day when we stayed up late listening to the Beatles? I'm only sleeping... Well I stayed there until 10pm listening to just that song (and a song by Jaguares called "Viento" which is on El Primer Instinto). For almost 3 hours I just sat there listening to music, thinking of you. Remembering our trip to Chavin. In one way or another we were always together; we would sit together, walk together... I'll never forget when minutes before you had to leave you sat beside me and you told me that you already missed me. In that moment I thought of giving you the note I wrote but you got up quickly and went into the office. I couldn't give it to you until later.
When I went to bed I couldn't sleep. I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, like anticipation or nervousness that kept me awake and sitting up in bed.
Today (Sunday) I think I feel better then yesterday, with less nervousness but no appetite. I keep listening to the same music and with every song I miss you more and more. Sometimes I think I should have given you that note as soon as we left Marcajirca; I could have hugged you much sooner and had more time to feel you that close to me.
I would love to hear your voice again before you leave. You have one more week in Peru and if you could do me the favor of calling me or Fernando...it's what I ask of you, please.
I miss you so much and I can't keep from crying in bed. I can't be strong anymore.
And how do you feel? How did you feel when you got onto the bus? Whatever we say to each other I'm sure our lives won't change but either way I think the time we spent together was beautiful and wonderful and we both enjoyed it very much. I was terrified of Saturday approaching. But just as fate would have it, I never imagined that you would get into the car with us that morning. You have no idea how much we enjoyed that, our trip to Chavin with you.
I miss you so much Leslie and your so special in my life... In My Life (the Beatles).
Today is our last night in Huari. Tomorrow (with Fernando) we climb back up to Marcajirca. The truth is we're not very motivated to go but we have to go. To be up there and not see you? It'll be so difficult for me. If you can, please call us. I leave you a hug and a big kiss.
Carlos
What the FUCK am I supposed to say to this????....I feel like I'm back in high school. It's hard to believe that this guy is 30 years old and married....
What the hell do I do?? I had to translate it. For my own sake I guess. I just can't believe he felt this way the entire time. He hid it really well. And it's SO WEIRD that he keeps including Fernando in every description. Did they write this one together too?? Fernando told me he doesn't like facebook, emailing, etc. so it would make sense.
Fuck.
Mentally, I'm still in Peru. It doesn't help that my friends keep posting new pictures all the time and keep commenting on mine. Every single night since I got home (barely a week ago) I've been dreaming of waking up in my tent in Marcajirca as if I never left.
"Shell-shocked" we said jokingly. I would imagine that this is how it feels. I came home physically but clearly I'm not back completely.
And then he goes and emails me this. Fernando just excepted my friend request on facebook four seconds ago. Are they both online right now?? ARGHHHH!!!!
Fuck it.
"Spice World" is on. Time to NOT think about how screwed up I am.
One day you'll understand how we feel in these moments. I stayed strong until you got on to the bus and then I couldn't anymore. I tried to not let them see me, but eventually they saw me. Bebel wanted to take us before the bus left but we obligated him not to. We stayed.
I loved when we hugged while we waited for the bus to leave and of course, your facial expressions while you read my note. Above everything else I'll never forget the moment when you hugged me after reading it. I'll remember that forever. It was the most beautiful hug I've been waiting to give you for weeks. I wanted to hug you every day but I didn't out of fear of you rejecting me.
After the bus left we got into the car and all of us were silent. I couldn't keep from crying while Fernando shared his condolences. We bought food and we went to the house. Dinner felt so strange today (Saturday); everything was done in silence, no one spoke, only Bebel once in a while. I wasn't too hungry. We finished eating and cleaned up. Along with Fernando we took the sheets off of your beds because the next group was coming, and we finally had time and space to wash our own clothes.
The whole house is completely silent. I went to the office to listen to some music so I could remember the days you were in the house. Do you remember the other day when we stayed up late listening to the Beatles? I'm only sleeping... Well I stayed there until 10pm listening to just that song (and a song by Jaguares called "Viento" which is on El Primer Instinto). For almost 3 hours I just sat there listening to music, thinking of you. Remembering our trip to Chavin. In one way or another we were always together; we would sit together, walk together... I'll never forget when minutes before you had to leave you sat beside me and you told me that you already missed me. In that moment I thought of giving you the note I wrote but you got up quickly and went into the office. I couldn't give it to you until later.
When I went to bed I couldn't sleep. I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, like anticipation or nervousness that kept me awake and sitting up in bed.
Today (Sunday) I think I feel better then yesterday, with less nervousness but no appetite. I keep listening to the same music and with every song I miss you more and more. Sometimes I think I should have given you that note as soon as we left Marcajirca; I could have hugged you much sooner and had more time to feel you that close to me.
I would love to hear your voice again before you leave. You have one more week in Peru and if you could do me the favor of calling me or Fernando...it's what I ask of you, please.
I miss you so much and I can't keep from crying in bed. I can't be strong anymore.
And how do you feel? How did you feel when you got onto the bus? Whatever we say to each other I'm sure our lives won't change but either way I think the time we spent together was beautiful and wonderful and we both enjoyed it very much. I was terrified of Saturday approaching. But just as fate would have it, I never imagined that you would get into the car with us that morning. You have no idea how much we enjoyed that, our trip to Chavin with you.
I miss you so much Leslie and your so special in my life... In My Life (the Beatles).
Today is our last night in Huari. Tomorrow (with Fernando) we climb back up to Marcajirca. The truth is we're not very motivated to go but we have to go. To be up there and not see you? It'll be so difficult for me. If you can, please call us. I leave you a hug and a big kiss.
Carlos
What the FUCK am I supposed to say to this????....I feel like I'm back in high school. It's hard to believe that this guy is 30 years old and married....
What the hell do I do?? I had to translate it. For my own sake I guess. I just can't believe he felt this way the entire time. He hid it really well. And it's SO WEIRD that he keeps including Fernando in every description. Did they write this one together too?? Fernando told me he doesn't like facebook, emailing, etc. so it would make sense.
Fuck.
Mentally, I'm still in Peru. It doesn't help that my friends keep posting new pictures all the time and keep commenting on mine. Every single night since I got home (barely a week ago) I've been dreaming of waking up in my tent in Marcajirca as if I never left.
"Shell-shocked" we said jokingly. I would imagine that this is how it feels. I came home physically but clearly I'm not back completely.
And then he goes and emails me this. Fernando just excepted my friend request on facebook four seconds ago. Are they both online right now?? ARGHHHH!!!!
Fuck it.
"Spice World" is on. Time to NOT think about how screwed up I am.