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Chapter 5.
Chapter 6. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back
Frank spent the entire day thinking about the party. It was his first social outing since moving, and he didn't want to fuck it up. He couldn't decide what to wear, but eventually stuck to his normal ripped jeans and white v-neck. When it got closer to party time, he sat near the window, looking for any sign of Gerard.
Gerard threw on an old band shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans, and headed downstairs, meeting up with Mikey. "Mikey," he called, "We need to go pick up Frank."
"Hold on! I need to find my phone!" Mikey looked in between couch cushions and under tables, but there was no sign of the damned thing anywhere. Gerard huffed and helped look around for Mikey's cellphone; he always seemed to misplace it.
"FUCK YES! Found it! Okay, we can go!" Mikey shoved his cell in his pocket and walked out the door.
Gerard hurried after. "Wait! Who's driving?" he asked, closing and locking the door behind him.
"You are, idiot, I don't know where the midget lives." Mikey jumped into the car and buckled his seat-belt. Gerard bit back a snappy retort; his brother had a way of having a sense of humor that was a little too rude for his taste. He sighed and got in the car before starting to drive.
Mikey just texted the entire ride there and didn't even notice when Frank got in the car, completely ignoring his "Hey, Mikey!" Frank just sat in the back and kept quiet, assuming Mikey was already starting to find him annoying. Gerard smiled at Frank, and gave Mikey a look, sighing to himself. His brother seemed to be distancing himself from Gerard, almost...
He drove everyone to Ray's house, where a good ten cars were already parked. Mikey put his phone in his pocket and stalked into Ray's house to look for beer, not even giving Gerard a time to meet up. Frank popped out of the car, looking around excitedly. He loved parties, even if no one ever paid much attention to him unless he was drunk and making a fool of himself.
Gerard got out and locked the car, feeling a bit hurt as he watched Mikey leave without so much as a "Thanks." Not even a glance. He looked over to Frank. "Ready?" he asked, feeling a little happier upon seeing Frank's eagerness.
"Hell yeah!" Frank wanted to hurry into the house, but slowed down his pace so he didn't ditch Gerard in the process.
Gerard followed Frank from behind, feeling just a little nervous. He'd never been to a party before. Usually, if he was invited, he'd say he was sick or grounded or one of the cliché excuses. He wasn't even sure what to do at a party.
When Frank walked in the door he saw about thirty people already half-drunk and dancing. He loved the atmosphere and couldn't wait until it got even better. He spotted the keg and started to make a bee-line towards it before remembering Gerard. "Hey, you want a beer?"
Gerard tensed up. He wasn't much for following rules, but he'd never once contemplated taking a swing of alcohol. He shrugged. "Is it any good?" he asked.
"It tastes like shit but if you get drunk enough not to notice, it becomes your best friend."
He didn't care for the thought, but Gerard didn't want to feel left out with Frank. "U-uhm, sure, I guess," he muttered, following Frank through the crowd.
Frank smiled and got two beers, handing one to Gerard. He chugged his and went for the second when he noticed Gerard hadn't even taken a sip of his. "What's wrong?"
Gerard shuffled around nervously. "I-I've just never drank beer before..." he admitted. "I'm just a bit... apprehensive is all, I-I guess..."
"Ah," Frank said, biting his lip. "You don't have to drink if you don't want, it's not like anyone's judging you."
Half of him wanted to take that offer and just leave the beer, but the other half of him was curious to try it. He looked down at the beverage, then slowly brought it to his mouth and took a small sip. He pulled back and almost spit it out, forcing himself to swallow it down without gagging, and coughed when he finally could get breath. He cringed; it tasted awful.
Frank burst into laughter. "Oh, God, Gerard just set it down," he said between laughs.
He looked down, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. "N-no, it's fine... I just need to get used to the taste... the after taste isn't so bad," he lied. It tasted disgusting; but he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Frank.
Frank rolled his eyes and took the cup from Gerard's hands and chugged it. Gerard tried to object, but Frank downed the liquid before he could get a single word out. He sighed quietly to himself. Frank smiled and grabbed Gerard's hand, leading him outside. "Let's go see what's going on out back." Gerard didn't object, letting Frank lead him, blushing a bit at the feeling of the other teen's grip holding his hand tightly.
Outside there was a large fire with about ten people sitting around it, smoking and talking. Frank found two chairs on the side and plopped down in one, enjoying the warmth. Gerard grabbed the other and sat close to Frank, making sure not to leave his side. He hated feeling clingy... but his brother had already ditched him. He didn't want to be left alone at an event he was unfamiliar with.
Just a few minutes later, some blonde chick with too much makeup on and way too much alcohol in her system came and sat down on Frank's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. His eyes widened, caught in complete surprise.
"Hey, cutie," the blonde giggled, "I haven't seen you around... didja just arrive?" Gerard felt himself tense with jealousy. He wanted to chase her off, but... what if Frank thought she was hot? The idea of it crushed him. He watched, emotion stirring inside of him as the girl leaned into Frank, unwrapping one of her arms from around his neck and setting it on his thigh.
"Uh… yeah, just moved here..." Frank didn't want to be rude, but this chick had some serious space issues and he didn't know how to politely tell her to get lost.
She giggled the same annoying, high-pitched sound. "Nooo silly, I meant the party." She pressed herself closer to Frank, running her other hand through his hair. "You're kinda hot..."
Gerard gritted his teeth. He wanted to say, 'Yeah, and he's mine!' but... he couldn't. He didn't own Frank... but the anger was gnawing inside him.
Frank flinched when she touched his hair. "Yeah, I just got here with a friend actually..."
'Friend'. The moment Frank said that, Gerard felt devastated. He wasn't even sure why. He wanted to yell at the girl for flirting with Frank, yell at Frank for just calling him a "friend", and cry because... well, he wasn't sure. He got up out of his chair and made his way back to the house, not bothering looking up once.
Frank wanted to stop Gerard, but the girl was pushing him down too much and he couldn't get up. 'Why did he leave? Maybe he just went to the bathroom.' Frank decided not to think too much on it and figured he went off to do his own thing, not like he was obligated to hang out with him.
Gerard walked back inside the house and tried to find a place away from the people. While wandering, he ran into a few guys from school... guys who didn't particularly like him. They singled Gerard out and headed towards him, obviously too drunk to think.
Meanwhile, the girl continued to flirt with Frank. "You're really, really hot," she said. "Like... you're sexy." She planted a sloppy kiss on Frank's cheek.
"Ugh! Thanks, but I really should be going, my friend..."
--
One of the guys put a hand on Gerard's shoulder from behind. "Hey, faggot`," he sneered. Gerard spun around, surprised, and shrunk back into himself when he saw who it was. The other guy walked around behind him, surrounding Gerard from the front and back.
--
The girl planted another kiss onto Frank's lips, obviously too drunk to listen. Frank struggled under the girl and cursed his small frame. "Look, get off me. I don't want to be a dick but I really don't want to do anything with you, so, please…"
--
"Wh-what do you guys want?" Gerard asked, trying to sound menacing, but coming out sounding like a scared child.
The guy from behind pushed him and snickered. "We saw you with your little boyfriend in the hall yesterday," he sneered.
"Yeah," the one upfront chimed in. "The short one with a big anger problem. He was cuddling you and shit."
"How cute," the first guy laughed. Gerard's face burned red with embarrassment and anger.
--
The girl pulled back again and pouted, batting her eyelashes. "Oh who cares about that nerd?" she huffed, "He's just some weirdo loser. You should hang out with cool people..."
"Fuck! That's it! I tried to be nice, but you don't seem to want to fucking listen!" Frank shoved the girl off of him and watched her fall on her ass. "You may think you're hot shit but the minute you insult my friend is the same time I deem you a stupid skank!" Frank ignored the glares he was getting and stomped off to find Gerard.
--
The guys closed in on Gerard as he tried to get away, the first guy grabbing Gerard's shoulder. "Where do you think you're going, Way?" he snickered. The second guy shoved his shoulder into Gerard roughly, knocking him back a bit.
"Look, just fuck off," Gerard growled, already tired of everything that had happened.
"Where's your little boyfriend now?" the second guy jeered, shoving Gerard down to the ground. Gerard tried to pick himself up.
"He's not my boyfriend," Gerard snapped, feeling a twinge of hurt upon saying that.
--
As he searched for Gerard, Frank saw some guys fucking with someone towards the back of the house and decided to investigate. When he neared the fight, he saw Gerard on ground, looking both pissed off and extremely hurt. "Hey! What the fuck is going on here?" Frank shouted and squared his shoulders, trying to look bigger than himself.
Gerard spotted Frank and looked away, trying to pull himself up. The first of the two bullies looked up and saw Frank. "Oh look," he teased, leaning down and getting in Gerard's face, "it's your little boyfriend coming to rescue you."
Gerard had had enough. "He's not my fucking boyfriend, you asshole!" he shouted and swung a fist, hitting the guy square in the nose. Gerard pulled back, not even completely sure of what he'd just done.
The second guy bared his teeth. "You little shit--!" Frank didn't even think before ramming the second guy into the wall, throwing punches as he went.
Once that guy finally gave up, unable to match Frank's energy, Frank turned around and stared at the one Gerard had punched. "You wanna fucking go, too? Or are you gonna take what's left of your pride and get the fuck out of here?"
Gerard finally got up to his feet and stumbled back a bit. The guy he punched held a hand over his nose. When he brought it away from his face, both his hand and his face were covered in blood. He shot a quick glare at Frank and lunged at Gerard. Before he could dodge, the guy grazed Gerard's cheek with a punch, sending him stumbling backwards against the wall.
"You dumb son of a bitch," Frank jumped on the guy's back and started punching. The bully tried to throw Frank off, but he had a strong hold on him. Frank pulled on his shoulders until he started to fall backwards. Once the guy was on the ground Frank jumped on him and continued to hit him until he was looking dizzy and someone was shouting, "Please, stop, oh my God!"
Frank looked up and saw a crowd of people around him, causing him to stop completely and stand up, out of breath. Gerard was at the back of the crowd, unable to see Frank at all. He had a hand on where his cheek had been hit, and a few people that he hadn't seen before - he guessed they were older or younger siblings of some of his peers -- were by his side asking if he was okay. Gerard wasn't even sure what to say; he was dizzy and felt sick, and everyone was crowding around, just causing confusion.
Frank kicked the guy in the side for good measure and made his way through the crowd, looking for Gerard. When Frank spotted him, he grabbed his hand and rushed outside where no one was around. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner, I'm sorry this happened! Fuck! I-"
Gerard pulled his hand away and turned slightly, not facing or looking up at Frank. "I'm fine," he muttered coldly, still having those weird feelings.
Frank sighed heavily. "Look, I'm sorry if you're pissed at me for whatever reason, but I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. I just beat up two guys who I didn't even know just because they were fucking with you!" He didn't mean to raise his voice, but he was still running on all that negative adrenaline.
"Nothing's wrong!" Gerard shouted back, spinning around and facing Frank. "Not a single fucking thing! I'm just dandy!" His voice was heavy with sarcasm. "Why don't you just go hang out with one of your other 'friends'?! I mean it's not like I'm anything fucking special!" He shook as he yelled, a part of him hating himself with every word. 'He never said you were special,' a thought pointed out, causing more hurt in Gerard then a hundred blows from that guy could have. He turned away and fixed his gaze on the ground.
"I... Gerard, come on. What other friends? One drunk girl throwing herself at me doesn't exactly make her my friend! Why are you acting like this? I didn't do anything wrong..." Frank was so confused, he doesn't go around kissing, comforting, and beating up assholes for just anyone, why was Gerard acting so fucking weird?
"Oh, I'm sure you have plenty of friends!" he yelled, fighting back tears again. "A bunch! Do you hold their hands and give them that puppy dog look and have them pour out their feelings to you too?! Because that's all we are! Friends!" Gerard's head was spinning, and he could feel angry tears threatening to fall. He held them back with all he could, refusing to look Frank in the eyes.
Frank was in shock. "Is that what this is all about? Just because I called you a friend? Jesus, Gerard! We just met! What am I supposed to call you? You can't get all pissed at me for something like that! It's not like we ever talked about it!"
Gerard turned away from Frank, feeling his heart twist in pain. 'I know,' he thought. 'I know we didn't... but hearing it hurts. Because I love you.' Of course, he wasn't going to say that out loud, and instead stood there, his cheek throbbing, head turned away from Frank, gazed fixed intensely to the ground.
"Are you going to talk to me or not?" Frank desperately wanted him to say something, wasn't sure what exactly, just... anything.
Gerard wanted to talk, but when he tried to speak, his voice failed him, at least not without tears, which he fought to keep from bursting out. He hurt all over, physically and emotionally... he wanted Frank to hug him again... to hold his hand and smile at him, just like he did before... but Gerard couldn't just say "I want you to comfort me from yelling at you." No. It didn't work that way.
Frank swallowed the lump in his throat. "Fine, if you're going to be that way... just.... fucking fine." Frank turned around and walked back into the house without another word.
Gerard wanted to go and grab Frank's arm, but he couldn't... he couldn't get himself to do it. He stood there, frozen, listening as Frank walked off, every step feeling like a kick in the chest.
Chapter 7.
Chapter 6. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back
Frank spent the entire day thinking about the party. It was his first social outing since moving, and he didn't want to fuck it up. He couldn't decide what to wear, but eventually stuck to his normal ripped jeans and white v-neck. When it got closer to party time, he sat near the window, looking for any sign of Gerard.
Gerard threw on an old band shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans, and headed downstairs, meeting up with Mikey. "Mikey," he called, "We need to go pick up Frank."
"Hold on! I need to find my phone!" Mikey looked in between couch cushions and under tables, but there was no sign of the damned thing anywhere. Gerard huffed and helped look around for Mikey's cellphone; he always seemed to misplace it.
"FUCK YES! Found it! Okay, we can go!" Mikey shoved his cell in his pocket and walked out the door.
Gerard hurried after. "Wait! Who's driving?" he asked, closing and locking the door behind him.
"You are, idiot, I don't know where the midget lives." Mikey jumped into the car and buckled his seat-belt. Gerard bit back a snappy retort; his brother had a way of having a sense of humor that was a little too rude for his taste. He sighed and got in the car before starting to drive.
Mikey just texted the entire ride there and didn't even notice when Frank got in the car, completely ignoring his "Hey, Mikey!" Frank just sat in the back and kept quiet, assuming Mikey was already starting to find him annoying. Gerard smiled at Frank, and gave Mikey a look, sighing to himself. His brother seemed to be distancing himself from Gerard, almost...
He drove everyone to Ray's house, where a good ten cars were already parked. Mikey put his phone in his pocket and stalked into Ray's house to look for beer, not even giving Gerard a time to meet up. Frank popped out of the car, looking around excitedly. He loved parties, even if no one ever paid much attention to him unless he was drunk and making a fool of himself.
Gerard got out and locked the car, feeling a bit hurt as he watched Mikey leave without so much as a "Thanks." Not even a glance. He looked over to Frank. "Ready?" he asked, feeling a little happier upon seeing Frank's eagerness.
"Hell yeah!" Frank wanted to hurry into the house, but slowed down his pace so he didn't ditch Gerard in the process.
Gerard followed Frank from behind, feeling just a little nervous. He'd never been to a party before. Usually, if he was invited, he'd say he was sick or grounded or one of the cliché excuses. He wasn't even sure what to do at a party.
When Frank walked in the door he saw about thirty people already half-drunk and dancing. He loved the atmosphere and couldn't wait until it got even better. He spotted the keg and started to make a bee-line towards it before remembering Gerard. "Hey, you want a beer?"
Gerard tensed up. He wasn't much for following rules, but he'd never once contemplated taking a swing of alcohol. He shrugged. "Is it any good?" he asked.
"It tastes like shit but if you get drunk enough not to notice, it becomes your best friend."
He didn't care for the thought, but Gerard didn't want to feel left out with Frank. "U-uhm, sure, I guess," he muttered, following Frank through the crowd.
Frank smiled and got two beers, handing one to Gerard. He chugged his and went for the second when he noticed Gerard hadn't even taken a sip of his. "What's wrong?"
Gerard shuffled around nervously. "I-I've just never drank beer before..." he admitted. "I'm just a bit... apprehensive is all, I-I guess..."
"Ah," Frank said, biting his lip. "You don't have to drink if you don't want, it's not like anyone's judging you."
Half of him wanted to take that offer and just leave the beer, but the other half of him was curious to try it. He looked down at the beverage, then slowly brought it to his mouth and took a small sip. He pulled back and almost spit it out, forcing himself to swallow it down without gagging, and coughed when he finally could get breath. He cringed; it tasted awful.
Frank burst into laughter. "Oh, God, Gerard just set it down," he said between laughs.
He looked down, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. "N-no, it's fine... I just need to get used to the taste... the after taste isn't so bad," he lied. It tasted disgusting; but he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Frank.
Frank rolled his eyes and took the cup from Gerard's hands and chugged it. Gerard tried to object, but Frank downed the liquid before he could get a single word out. He sighed quietly to himself. Frank smiled and grabbed Gerard's hand, leading him outside. "Let's go see what's going on out back." Gerard didn't object, letting Frank lead him, blushing a bit at the feeling of the other teen's grip holding his hand tightly.
Outside there was a large fire with about ten people sitting around it, smoking and talking. Frank found two chairs on the side and plopped down in one, enjoying the warmth. Gerard grabbed the other and sat close to Frank, making sure not to leave his side. He hated feeling clingy... but his brother had already ditched him. He didn't want to be left alone at an event he was unfamiliar with.
Just a few minutes later, some blonde chick with too much makeup on and way too much alcohol in her system came and sat down on Frank's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. His eyes widened, caught in complete surprise.
"Hey, cutie," the blonde giggled, "I haven't seen you around... didja just arrive?" Gerard felt himself tense with jealousy. He wanted to chase her off, but... what if Frank thought she was hot? The idea of it crushed him. He watched, emotion stirring inside of him as the girl leaned into Frank, unwrapping one of her arms from around his neck and setting it on his thigh.
"Uh… yeah, just moved here..." Frank didn't want to be rude, but this chick had some serious space issues and he didn't know how to politely tell her to get lost.
She giggled the same annoying, high-pitched sound. "Nooo silly, I meant the party." She pressed herself closer to Frank, running her other hand through his hair. "You're kinda hot..."
Gerard gritted his teeth. He wanted to say, 'Yeah, and he's mine!' but... he couldn't. He didn't own Frank... but the anger was gnawing inside him.
Frank flinched when she touched his hair. "Yeah, I just got here with a friend actually..."
'Friend'. The moment Frank said that, Gerard felt devastated. He wasn't even sure why. He wanted to yell at the girl for flirting with Frank, yell at Frank for just calling him a "friend", and cry because... well, he wasn't sure. He got up out of his chair and made his way back to the house, not bothering looking up once.
Frank wanted to stop Gerard, but the girl was pushing him down too much and he couldn't get up. 'Why did he leave? Maybe he just went to the bathroom.' Frank decided not to think too much on it and figured he went off to do his own thing, not like he was obligated to hang out with him.
Gerard walked back inside the house and tried to find a place away from the people. While wandering, he ran into a few guys from school... guys who didn't particularly like him. They singled Gerard out and headed towards him, obviously too drunk to think.
Meanwhile, the girl continued to flirt with Frank. "You're really, really hot," she said. "Like... you're sexy." She planted a sloppy kiss on Frank's cheek.
"Ugh! Thanks, but I really should be going, my friend..."
--
One of the guys put a hand on Gerard's shoulder from behind. "Hey, faggot`," he sneered. Gerard spun around, surprised, and shrunk back into himself when he saw who it was. The other guy walked around behind him, surrounding Gerard from the front and back.
--
The girl planted another kiss onto Frank's lips, obviously too drunk to listen. Frank struggled under the girl and cursed his small frame. "Look, get off me. I don't want to be a dick but I really don't want to do anything with you, so, please…"
--
"Wh-what do you guys want?" Gerard asked, trying to sound menacing, but coming out sounding like a scared child.
The guy from behind pushed him and snickered. "We saw you with your little boyfriend in the hall yesterday," he sneered.
"Yeah," the one upfront chimed in. "The short one with a big anger problem. He was cuddling you and shit."
"How cute," the first guy laughed. Gerard's face burned red with embarrassment and anger.
--
The girl pulled back again and pouted, batting her eyelashes. "Oh who cares about that nerd?" she huffed, "He's just some weirdo loser. You should hang out with cool people..."
"Fuck! That's it! I tried to be nice, but you don't seem to want to fucking listen!" Frank shoved the girl off of him and watched her fall on her ass. "You may think you're hot shit but the minute you insult my friend is the same time I deem you a stupid skank!" Frank ignored the glares he was getting and stomped off to find Gerard.
--
The guys closed in on Gerard as he tried to get away, the first guy grabbing Gerard's shoulder. "Where do you think you're going, Way?" he snickered. The second guy shoved his shoulder into Gerard roughly, knocking him back a bit.
"Look, just fuck off," Gerard growled, already tired of everything that had happened.
"Where's your little boyfriend now?" the second guy jeered, shoving Gerard down to the ground. Gerard tried to pick himself up.
"He's not my boyfriend," Gerard snapped, feeling a twinge of hurt upon saying that.
--
As he searched for Gerard, Frank saw some guys fucking with someone towards the back of the house and decided to investigate. When he neared the fight, he saw Gerard on ground, looking both pissed off and extremely hurt. "Hey! What the fuck is going on here?" Frank shouted and squared his shoulders, trying to look bigger than himself.
Gerard spotted Frank and looked away, trying to pull himself up. The first of the two bullies looked up and saw Frank. "Oh look," he teased, leaning down and getting in Gerard's face, "it's your little boyfriend coming to rescue you."
Gerard had had enough. "He's not my fucking boyfriend, you asshole!" he shouted and swung a fist, hitting the guy square in the nose. Gerard pulled back, not even completely sure of what he'd just done.
The second guy bared his teeth. "You little shit--!" Frank didn't even think before ramming the second guy into the wall, throwing punches as he went.
Once that guy finally gave up, unable to match Frank's energy, Frank turned around and stared at the one Gerard had punched. "You wanna fucking go, too? Or are you gonna take what's left of your pride and get the fuck out of here?"
Gerard finally got up to his feet and stumbled back a bit. The guy he punched held a hand over his nose. When he brought it away from his face, both his hand and his face were covered in blood. He shot a quick glare at Frank and lunged at Gerard. Before he could dodge, the guy grazed Gerard's cheek with a punch, sending him stumbling backwards against the wall.
"You dumb son of a bitch," Frank jumped on the guy's back and started punching. The bully tried to throw Frank off, but he had a strong hold on him. Frank pulled on his shoulders until he started to fall backwards. Once the guy was on the ground Frank jumped on him and continued to hit him until he was looking dizzy and someone was shouting, "Please, stop, oh my God!"
Frank looked up and saw a crowd of people around him, causing him to stop completely and stand up, out of breath. Gerard was at the back of the crowd, unable to see Frank at all. He had a hand on where his cheek had been hit, and a few people that he hadn't seen before - he guessed they were older or younger siblings of some of his peers -- were by his side asking if he was okay. Gerard wasn't even sure what to say; he was dizzy and felt sick, and everyone was crowding around, just causing confusion.
Frank kicked the guy in the side for good measure and made his way through the crowd, looking for Gerard. When Frank spotted him, he grabbed his hand and rushed outside where no one was around. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner, I'm sorry this happened! Fuck! I-"
Gerard pulled his hand away and turned slightly, not facing or looking up at Frank. "I'm fine," he muttered coldly, still having those weird feelings.
Frank sighed heavily. "Look, I'm sorry if you're pissed at me for whatever reason, but I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. I just beat up two guys who I didn't even know just because they were fucking with you!" He didn't mean to raise his voice, but he was still running on all that negative adrenaline.
"Nothing's wrong!" Gerard shouted back, spinning around and facing Frank. "Not a single fucking thing! I'm just dandy!" His voice was heavy with sarcasm. "Why don't you just go hang out with one of your other 'friends'?! I mean it's not like I'm anything fucking special!" He shook as he yelled, a part of him hating himself with every word. 'He never said you were special,' a thought pointed out, causing more hurt in Gerard then a hundred blows from that guy could have. He turned away and fixed his gaze on the ground.
"I... Gerard, come on. What other friends? One drunk girl throwing herself at me doesn't exactly make her my friend! Why are you acting like this? I didn't do anything wrong..." Frank was so confused, he doesn't go around kissing, comforting, and beating up assholes for just anyone, why was Gerard acting so fucking weird?
"Oh, I'm sure you have plenty of friends!" he yelled, fighting back tears again. "A bunch! Do you hold their hands and give them that puppy dog look and have them pour out their feelings to you too?! Because that's all we are! Friends!" Gerard's head was spinning, and he could feel angry tears threatening to fall. He held them back with all he could, refusing to look Frank in the eyes.
Frank was in shock. "Is that what this is all about? Just because I called you a friend? Jesus, Gerard! We just met! What am I supposed to call you? You can't get all pissed at me for something like that! It's not like we ever talked about it!"
Gerard turned away from Frank, feeling his heart twist in pain. 'I know,' he thought. 'I know we didn't... but hearing it hurts. Because I love you.' Of course, he wasn't going to say that out loud, and instead stood there, his cheek throbbing, head turned away from Frank, gazed fixed intensely to the ground.
"Are you going to talk to me or not?" Frank desperately wanted him to say something, wasn't sure what exactly, just... anything.
Gerard wanted to talk, but when he tried to speak, his voice failed him, at least not without tears, which he fought to keep from bursting out. He hurt all over, physically and emotionally... he wanted Frank to hug him again... to hold his hand and smile at him, just like he did before... but Gerard couldn't just say "I want you to comfort me from yelling at you." No. It didn't work that way.
Frank swallowed the lump in his throat. "Fine, if you're going to be that way... just.... fucking fine." Frank turned around and walked back into the house without another word.
Gerard wanted to go and grab Frank's arm, but he couldn't... he couldn't get himself to do it. He stood there, frozen, listening as Frank walked off, every step feeling like a kick in the chest.
Chapter 7.