Themes/consistencies
"Well yeah. I've told people before, 'One day you're going to look at a pineapple and feel like bursting out into tears.' It's happened to me before."
I said that to Bryan a couple of weeks ago, at the most, when we were talking about associations. It's weird- it seems as though him and Alyssa are almost parallel with Dave and I in terms of where the relationship is going, except they openly commit and we quietly, subtly do.
Going home was a bit of a mindfuck, and that's the only word I can think of right now, as I sit in the 3rd floor workroom of Smith and wait for my paper-mache masks to dry. First off, I hadn't been in a car in a month and a half, hadn't used a computer that ran on Windows, hadn't been in my house and seen all the little trinkets that always, no matter how new, end up being a postcard. My room is a postcard. I walked up there with my canvas bag, which is now so familiar, and put it down on my black bed in a tidied-up room, and my yearbook was there, lying on the bed. I picked it up, flipped through for 10 seconds, and thought, "I don't care." I didn't flop down on my bed in defeat or relief or exhaustion, there was no overwhelming sense of "I'm home." None. I didn't want to call anyone from Saugus. I didn't want to be left alone to the thoughts I now have to repress ANYWAY concerning Kerrie and Lynx, I wanted to be back at Smith.
I immediately started grabbing movies and books and such to bring back Home.
And yes, I went out with my parents and got goodies. And a lovely winter coat like I've always wanted- wool and European-looking. A plant, named Zachary, who is a little mix of Kyle and Chives and I love him and he sits on my tablet. The candle Audra got me. Spirited Away, Matilda, Bruce Almighty, Good Burger, etc. etc.
Bridging my past and present is proving to be as difficult as I assumed it would be. With Lynx, specifically. I really just can't play this game anymore. I even tried to speak to him as Iris, who is going to be one of my alter egos/personas now. I have realized how strangely like her I am, the lonely demigoddess of messages. Caught between the world and heavens, messenger from air to sea, descendant of both worlds...
"Her and Hermes totally got it on in the mail room."
lmao. Why I love Dave Aiello. Freak.
So basically, I'm thinking, breaking my personality into, as far as personas: Nelli, Saorise, and Iris, which is Nelli+Ris- Nell anyway. And since Dratego is a shapeshifter he can just be whatever whenever any of them need him to be, but he primarily works with flight like Iris, so he'd make a suitable companion.
Gah. I can't even write a damn entry. Too much chaos.
Themes:
water, iris, virgins, movie soundtracks, venetian masks, metal, sci-fi.
I said that to Bryan a couple of weeks ago, at the most, when we were talking about associations. It's weird- it seems as though him and Alyssa are almost parallel with Dave and I in terms of where the relationship is going, except they openly commit and we quietly, subtly do.
Going home was a bit of a mindfuck, and that's the only word I can think of right now, as I sit in the 3rd floor workroom of Smith and wait for my paper-mache masks to dry. First off, I hadn't been in a car in a month and a half, hadn't used a computer that ran on Windows, hadn't been in my house and seen all the little trinkets that always, no matter how new, end up being a postcard. My room is a postcard. I walked up there with my canvas bag, which is now so familiar, and put it down on my black bed in a tidied-up room, and my yearbook was there, lying on the bed. I picked it up, flipped through for 10 seconds, and thought, "I don't care." I didn't flop down on my bed in defeat or relief or exhaustion, there was no overwhelming sense of "I'm home." None. I didn't want to call anyone from Saugus. I didn't want to be left alone to the thoughts I now have to repress ANYWAY concerning Kerrie and Lynx, I wanted to be back at Smith.
I immediately started grabbing movies and books and such to bring back Home.
And yes, I went out with my parents and got goodies. And a lovely winter coat like I've always wanted- wool and European-looking. A plant, named Zachary, who is a little mix of Kyle and Chives and I love him and he sits on my tablet. The candle Audra got me. Spirited Away, Matilda, Bruce Almighty, Good Burger, etc. etc.
Bridging my past and present is proving to be as difficult as I assumed it would be. With Lynx, specifically. I really just can't play this game anymore. I even tried to speak to him as Iris, who is going to be one of my alter egos/personas now. I have realized how strangely like her I am, the lonely demigoddess of messages. Caught between the world and heavens, messenger from air to sea, descendant of both worlds...
"Her and Hermes totally got it on in the mail room."
lmao. Why I love Dave Aiello. Freak.
So basically, I'm thinking, breaking my personality into, as far as personas: Nelli, Saorise, and Iris, which is Nelli+Ris- Nell anyway. And since Dratego is a shapeshifter he can just be whatever whenever any of them need him to be, but he primarily works with flight like Iris, so he'd make a suitable companion.
Gah. I can't even write a damn entry. Too much chaos.
Themes:
water, iris, virgins, movie soundtracks, venetian masks, metal, sci-fi.