I just don't know what to do with myself.

[parkerp07]

Matt has been in Europe for I think about two years now and it's been horrible.  Ok.  I'm exaggerating. It hasn't been two years, it's only been like a month I think.  Might as well be two years, that's what it feels like.  Needless to say I miss him very, very much and he's not going to be back for another month.  I was doing good the first couple

Comments

[ennuiescapist]

So, now you're "brookie bells" instead of "the basket case"? That's progress, isn't it? :)

Yes... You've learned not to take Matt for granted (is he the one who wrote you that wonderful letter that you posted on MySpace?) and will appreciate him that much more when he returns. It's a good thing, don't you think? He'll come back with plenty of stories for the two of you to dish about... And will be able to provide added perspective about moving to the French countryside, like you say you dream of doing, someday...

I kind of like having a long distance relationship for this reason. I feel much less taken for granted - When you live with someone, especially when you're not married, it becomes that much easier to stop appreciating them every day. Perhaps it's an effort that you have to commit to consciously.

For this reason, when Arkadiy mentioned living together, I told Arkadiy that the next man I'm going to live with will be my husband. And I mean it. I'm standing my ground. He seemed a bit taken aback, but I don't care.

I admire you for doing all you do for Carson and yourself. And hey, my roomie just got her master's in social work this spring, so if you want me to ask her anything about it...?

[parkerp07]

I completely understand. Stand your ground. Of course I wouldn't live with a man before I was married now because of Carson but I think it gives you something to look forward to after marriage. If you're already living together it's going to be just like any typical day after your married. To me it'd be like a whole new adventure you guys take together.

I'm not sure of any letter that he sent me that I would post anywhere. He's said some things about me that I thought were funny that I've posted but no letter I don't think. But then again I don't even remember what I wore yesterday so it's possible. :)

Yes, I very much have learned not to take him for granted. He's coming back August 9th and will drive down here and then will drive with me to TN for my cousin's wedding. I'm very excited about it. We haven't seen each other in forever so it'll be nice to have him around. I think it'll be a lot of fun since I'm sure in the back of his mind he'll be making fun of my country/redneck family while he's there. My mom is going and it's my dad's side of the family (my parents are divorced, I think you knew that, though) so she's super excited to have him there so they can stand in the corner and laugh about my family. I swear I'm going to have to separate the two of them.

I hope that I find what you and Arkadiy have. You two seem to be so happy. For some reason I feel like you feel this is the one and you just seem so incredibly happy and you seem to feel like a weight has been lifted off your chest. Not copmletely but I feel a sense of happiness that I don't think I've ever really sensed from you before.