(no subject)
I am looking at my past entries
and all I find
in reading them
is talk of horse shows
and horses and not anything
not one damn thing
about friends
or parties
or concerts
or the fucking mallllll.
I have one more year of high school left and then
thats it.
I'm done.
off to go
RIDE
the fucking horses.
this entire summer has been traveling around
grooming for rich girls
with their rich, fancy horses
and catering to their every need.
When I'm actually home,
I am too tired to
do anything besides go out to dinner
occassionally.
I finally went to a show
the other night.
The Cadence
TREOS
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Hit the Lights
and one other but I cant remember
Well I had to leave
early
I didn't get to see TREOS which was
the whole reason I went
Which if you read this sarah was not
a problem and I completely understand why.
And then I got home
Saturday in enough time
to go over to the Norwood legion
but I had just finished at work and I could barely
move let alone go to a show.
And I guess
When I went the other night.
I felt like I didn't belong.
Like I guess I was
supposed to be sleeping or
i guess like I wasn't cool enough.
Like this is their world and
I have mine.
Completely separate.
And I have to choose
i felt really old.
cause I was gonna go home after and
sleep.
Not go back to a friends house
and drink and
make out with random guys.
or get into fights and
scream and
make a fool out of myself.
and throw-up all night from drinking too much.
and have awesome stories to tell
people years from now about what a crazy high school life
I had.
Or sit there with friends laughing about how
stupid we were that night
and jims house
when we did that thing
with those kids and
how much trouble we got into afterwards.
Because I dont do that.
I sleep and work and
I've "got a good head on my shoulders"
Teresa needs to come home and we needa have some fun.
I dont know how much more of this i can take.
and all I find
in reading them
is talk of horse shows
and horses and not anything
not one damn thing
about friends
or parties
or concerts
or the fucking mallllll.
I have one more year of high school left and then
thats it.
I'm done.
off to go
RIDE
the fucking horses.
this entire summer has been traveling around
grooming for rich girls
with their rich, fancy horses
and catering to their every need.
When I'm actually home,
I am too tired to
do anything besides go out to dinner
occassionally.
I finally went to a show
the other night.
The Cadence
TREOS
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Hit the Lights
and one other but I cant remember
Well I had to leave
early
I didn't get to see TREOS which was
the whole reason I went
Which if you read this sarah was not
a problem and I completely understand why.
And then I got home
Saturday in enough time
to go over to the Norwood legion
but I had just finished at work and I could barely
move let alone go to a show.
And I guess
When I went the other night.
I felt like I didn't belong.
Like I guess I was
supposed to be sleeping or
i guess like I wasn't cool enough.
Like this is their world and
I have mine.
Completely separate.
And I have to choose
i felt really old.
cause I was gonna go home after and
sleep.
Not go back to a friends house
and drink and
make out with random guys.
or get into fights and
scream and
make a fool out of myself.
and throw-up all night from drinking too much.
and have awesome stories to tell
people years from now about what a crazy high school life
I had.
Or sit there with friends laughing about how
stupid we were that night
and jims house
when we did that thing
with those kids and
how much trouble we got into afterwards.
Because I dont do that.
I sleep and work and
I've "got a good head on my shoulders"
Teresa needs to come home and we needa have some fun.
I dont know how much more of this i can take.