And I Must Spork: Maradonia, Part VII
Small talk isn't my thing. Just for your information. Hit it!
CHAPTER NINETEEN - THE POND OF BACCHUS
I am already liking where this chapter is going.
Anyway, Maya is wandering around the sunflower fields, still looking for Joey and slowly approaching massive stages of separation anxiety. She sits down on a rock to lament her situation when suddenly, bears approach. Actually, a mama bear and her three cubs.
Now, we've seen and established that most animals in Maradonia can speak. Does Maya try to talk to the bears? No, of course not. She quickly leaves. Aaaaargh. \~/ POINTLESS BEARS WERE POINTLESS.
So Maya runs a bit more till she finds a mysterious pond full of a sticky black substance and sits on a rock nearby, content to be the damsel in distress till Joey and/or her doves find her.
... But then she gets curious. Maya, you dumb twat.
While sticking a finger in the goo pond, some orange birds startle Maya and she falls in. Oh noes!
Maya thought, "This is definitely the end of our journey." She started to say a prayer which she had learned in Sunday school:
"Save me Lord, save me Lord, hold my hands and save me Lord!"
Heh. \~/ It seems that anything liquid just hates Maya like woah. Just then, Libertine and her fellow doves show up. Maya begs them to go find her brother, and they all fly off except for three of them who stay with Maya. Maya takes some time to wish while clinging to land for dear life.
"I wish Sagitta would be around and pull me out of this goop!"
One of the doves that Libertine left with Maya said "It is not Sagitta's test! It is your test! There is no gain without pain and a person who stays in the valley will never reach the hill!"
Oh my God. \~/\~/\~/ Really? Did you seriously put that in, Gloria? Please, hold still while I smack you in the head with a phone book. Or one of your books.
Meanwhile, the doves find Joey, and this time, he seems more than happy to save his sister from drowning. What the hell? Is Hoppy secretly Jiminey Cricket and miraculously gave Joey a conscience? The doves tell Joey that Maya is slowly slipping into the Pond of Bacchus and will eventually die if not pulled out.
As if it wasn't clear from the way she's sinking in it as if it were quicksand. Hell, even if it was just normal water. Gaaaaah! \~/\~/
So Joey finally arrives to save Maya, who's up to her chin in Bacchus juice. (Ew.) He pulls and tugs while the doves give moral support. And there's also a paragraph about how the doves chase off those bears, who apparently came back while Joey was trying to save Maya. And after much pulling and yanking, Maya is out, and rejoicing happens! Libertine is very appoint.
Libertine said, "The successful leader is the one who makes the right move at the right time with the right motive."
\~/\~/ Again, which fortune cookies is Gloria getting these tidbits from? And what the fuck does that line have to do with Joey pulling Maya out of a slime pit? I demand an answer for this!
So the next two pages is basically Joey trying to carry Maya back to the Samara River, since only its pure waters can cleanse off whatever was in the Bacchus pond. Apparently, leaving it be causes stone poisoning.
... Stone poisoning? Why not just say petrification? See, there are words for these things, Gloria! Buy a thesaurus/dictionary two pack, just don't abuse them.
And the chapter ends with Maya washing herself off. Sigh. I'm on a sub-mission to find redeeming qualities to this book and I have none.
Chapter drinks: 9
CHAPTER TWENTY - THE THIRD EYE
Huh. I kinda like that picture... Gah, I can't believe I just said that.
As Maya washed herself and her clothes off, she reflected on almost drowning a second time. What could she be thinking?
"I know now that I cannot escape the responsibilities of tomorrow by avoiding them today."
Mein Gott, are we in for another preachy chapter? I THINK SO. And what the fuck that line? You almost drowned in tar, woman. Sticky, gooey death. Be a bit more reflective! \~/\~/\~/
Maya and Joey spend about a page talking about their increasing courage and personal growth and how they are growing into a position of leaders. It's terribly boring, and makes me all the more glad this chapter is only 3 pages long.
They then talk about Sagitta's many eyes, for whatever reason. Maybe just to hear the sound of their own voices, I don't know. Maya also talks about the third eye, or inner eye.
"Maybe everybody needs a third eye or an inner eyes to see and to recognize the truth and the real circumstances in life."
... Pardon the smell; that's just my brain frying. \~/ Seriously, what.
Then Joey chimes in with a long-ass spiel, again, about how this journey is changing him. I refuse to type it out, but this bit near the end is great.
"I realize that I grew inside of myself and that I am least ten years wiser. We see things mostly not as they really are, we see the things as we are or as we want to see them." Joey said.
I nearly dropped a massive F-bomb here, but thank you, Hoppy.
"I see nothing in front of me except some glitter in front of my eyes" Hoppy said.
RETURN OF THE GLITTER! \~/\~/\~/ Hahahahaha, YES.
And then the chapter ends. Yay. :D
Drink count: 7
Drinks this installment: 16
Total drinks this spork: 123
Finally, I am done for the day. I have a late day tomorrow, so it may be late night sporking tomorrow. WE SHALL SEE.
Have a nice evening, all. Stay away from fail; I provide more than enough.
CHAPTER NINETEEN - THE POND OF BACCHUS
I am already liking where this chapter is going.
Anyway, Maya is wandering around the sunflower fields, still looking for Joey and slowly approaching massive stages of separation anxiety. She sits down on a rock to lament her situation when suddenly, bears approach. Actually, a mama bear and her three cubs.
Now, we've seen and established that most animals in Maradonia can speak. Does Maya try to talk to the bears? No, of course not. She quickly leaves. Aaaaargh. \~/ POINTLESS BEARS WERE POINTLESS.
So Maya runs a bit more till she finds a mysterious pond full of a sticky black substance and sits on a rock nearby, content to be the damsel in distress till Joey and/or her doves find her.
... But then she gets curious. Maya, you dumb twat.
While sticking a finger in the goo pond, some orange birds startle Maya and she falls in. Oh noes!
Maya thought, "This is definitely the end of our journey." She started to say a prayer which she had learned in Sunday school:
"Save me Lord, save me Lord, hold my hands and save me Lord!"
Heh. \~/ It seems that anything liquid just hates Maya like woah. Just then, Libertine and her fellow doves show up. Maya begs them to go find her brother, and they all fly off except for three of them who stay with Maya. Maya takes some time to wish while clinging to land for dear life.
"I wish Sagitta would be around and pull me out of this goop!"
One of the doves that Libertine left with Maya said "It is not Sagitta's test! It is your test! There is no gain without pain and a person who stays in the valley will never reach the hill!"
Oh my God. \~/\~/\~/ Really? Did you seriously put that in, Gloria? Please, hold still while I smack you in the head with a phone book. Or one of your books.
Meanwhile, the doves find Joey, and this time, he seems more than happy to save his sister from drowning. What the hell? Is Hoppy secretly Jiminey Cricket and miraculously gave Joey a conscience? The doves tell Joey that Maya is slowly slipping into the Pond of Bacchus and will eventually die if not pulled out.
As if it wasn't clear from the way she's sinking in it as if it were quicksand. Hell, even if it was just normal water. Gaaaaah! \~/\~/
So Joey finally arrives to save Maya, who's up to her chin in Bacchus juice. (Ew.) He pulls and tugs while the doves give moral support. And there's also a paragraph about how the doves chase off those bears, who apparently came back while Joey was trying to save Maya. And after much pulling and yanking, Maya is out, and rejoicing happens! Libertine is very appoint.
Libertine said, "The successful leader is the one who makes the right move at the right time with the right motive."
\~/\~/ Again, which fortune cookies is Gloria getting these tidbits from? And what the fuck does that line have to do with Joey pulling Maya out of a slime pit? I demand an answer for this!
So the next two pages is basically Joey trying to carry Maya back to the Samara River, since only its pure waters can cleanse off whatever was in the Bacchus pond. Apparently, leaving it be causes stone poisoning.
... Stone poisoning? Why not just say petrification? See, there are words for these things, Gloria! Buy a thesaurus/dictionary two pack, just don't abuse them.
And the chapter ends with Maya washing herself off. Sigh. I'm on a sub-mission to find redeeming qualities to this book and I have none.
Chapter drinks: 9
CHAPTER TWENTY - THE THIRD EYE
Huh. I kinda like that picture... Gah, I can't believe I just said that.
As Maya washed herself and her clothes off, she reflected on almost drowning a second time. What could she be thinking?
"I know now that I cannot escape the responsibilities of tomorrow by avoiding them today."
Mein Gott, are we in for another preachy chapter? I THINK SO. And what the fuck that line? You almost drowned in tar, woman. Sticky, gooey death. Be a bit more reflective! \~/\~/\~/
Maya and Joey spend about a page talking about their increasing courage and personal growth and how they are growing into a position of leaders. It's terribly boring, and makes me all the more glad this chapter is only 3 pages long.
They then talk about Sagitta's many eyes, for whatever reason. Maybe just to hear the sound of their own voices, I don't know. Maya also talks about the third eye, or inner eye.
"Maybe everybody needs a third eye or an inner eyes to see and to recognize the truth and the real circumstances in life."
... Pardon the smell; that's just my brain frying. \~/ Seriously, what.
Then Joey chimes in with a long-ass spiel, again, about how this journey is changing him. I refuse to type it out, but this bit near the end is great.
"I realize that I grew inside of myself and that I am least ten years wiser. We see things mostly not as they really are, we see the things as we are or as we want to see them." Joey said.
I nearly dropped a massive F-bomb here, but thank you, Hoppy.
"I see nothing in front of me except some glitter in front of my eyes" Hoppy said.
RETURN OF THE GLITTER! \~/\~/\~/ Hahahahaha, YES.
And then the chapter ends. Yay. :D
Drink count: 7
Drinks this installment: 16
Total drinks this spork: 123
Finally, I am done for the day. I have a late day tomorrow, so it may be late night sporking tomorrow. WE SHALL SEE.
Have a nice evening, all. Stay away from fail; I provide more than enough.