Escape - Aoi x Uruha - Oneshot
Title: Escape
Author: paranoiascreams
Chapters: oneshot
Genre: Angst, AU
Pairing: Aoi x Uruha
Rating: PG - 13, Nagging!Uruha
Warning: unbeta'd
Disclaimer: I would probably be rich as hell if i own these boys.
Summary: I cant believe how long we've been together, that there's always the 'we'. Never the 'me', never the I. Just 'you' and 'we.'
Comments: Been a long time since i wrote about this pair, so forgive me if this is all i can deliver. Muse is still lost.
I make a cup of coffee when I woke up around 4 in the morning. I dont usually wake up this early, I hate mornings and 4 am is still part of the night for me and obviously an ungodly hour to wake up to.
I scanned the living room while i walk around with only my pajama bottoms on, my coffee cup on one hand, a freshly lit cigarette on the other. I walked around the living room and see our shoes neatly arranged by the front door, I smiled. I am glad we both hate messy places and we can agree that neatness is the number one priority of our apartment.
I walked around some more, I see our work desk, two laptops side by side on a long table, mine was black, yours was red, contrasting as it was, they complement each other well. I remember us laughing when we end up browsing each others' homepage at the same time, purely accidental or unintentional, we'll never know. I love it when we're being competitive on who's better on warcraft, of course it's me. You're just in denial that i beat you all the time, saying that the game is too manly for you to take it seriously.
I sat on the couch and fixed the two huge throw pillows and let it lean against the couch's rest. I leaned my head back and think about the times we laze around every Sunday afternoon here, when we're too bored to go out and we end up watching DVDs or reruns and we order Chinese takeouts and we spend the rest of the day in this very couch.
I saw our pictures in the frames atop our fireplace. We look so perfect together, with smiles painted on our faces, with love overflowing you can almost taste it outside the confines of the frames. I cant believe how long we've been together, that there's always the 'we'. Never the 'me', never the I. Just 'you' and 'we.'
'We' can be so fake. No. I can be so fake and so fucking weak.
-----
"No! No!!!! I told you a million times!"
"But Uruha, I mentioned this to you before, I need to paint."
"Aoi, I respect that you're an artist but I dont want paint in our apartment."
"I'll rent a studio, then."
"We cant afford that. Aoi, no. You even touch that easel again, i swear you wont stop hearing from me."
-----
And I didnt. I was scared that you'll hate me. And I didnt want that at that time. We just moved in together that week and Im not about to get myself thrown out to the streets, I never tried painting again so as not to upset you, even if there were days ive been itching to stroke a brush, mix colors and make art, i dared myself not to, its not worth losing you at that time so i stopped, and I guess time went by and I forgot that an easel even existed within our home.
I turned to the corner of the living room and found it by the isolated part near the bookshelf, dusting, aging, waiting, as if glaring at me for leaving him there. I sighed and walked near it, dusting it off, touching the rough texture of the canvas, I sighed. I wanted to immortalize you with the stroke of my brush and with my vivid imagination, but I guess I couldnt.
I walked a few steps away and turned to the bookshelf on my left, where my camera has been accumulating dust too, waiting patiently for me to touch it again and take random portraits of you, of us, of the places around us.
-----
"You're really testing my patience Aoi."
"Look, if I cant paint, I'd take pictures."
"You bought an expensive camera, and you're telling me, it's just a hobby?! We wont even profit from it? It's your own hobby, not mine."
"Dont worry about the money, if that was your concern, I bought it from my own pocket, not our joint account. I'll just go out on weekends to take some photos."
"Weekends?! But we only get to spend more time on weekends..." You pouted, and I know I cant escape the conversation unscathed if i continued, but I was stubborn.
"Uruha, please? You can tag along with me and you'll be my model." I smiled, you squinted your eyes.
"You're impossible." And you walked away.
-----
I still used it, dragging you with me on the first two weekends i when i first bought it, trying my best to lighten your mood that just wont even perk up, and when i point the camera at you, you scowl, and i click and i get a grumpy face in every shot i take, which is weird actually, since we love taking pictures together, and you love it when i take your pictures before, but when i used this camera, your mood is totally foul, like this camera is my 2nd girlfriend and I was cheating on you.
In the end i stopped using it, afraid that i will have to send you to anger management if i extend more than 8 weekends going out for random photoshoots.
And there were alot more that I cannot believe I let accumulate all because I love you, and I know you love me back, there are just times you forget that I am a person first and your lover second.
Like the time you broke my acoustic guitar strings, because at first you said it was sweet that i wrote songs for you but when I started spending more time on my guitar than you, you just had to cut it so i would be with you. I dunno how strong my patience was that time when you said you were just getting a little too jealous.
The surprise party I prepared on your birthday two years ago that you almost didnt enjoy because I made the wrong choice for the cake and i invited two of my friends that around that time i had no idea you hated so much.
I cringed and bit my lip, curling my fists, i can feel my breathing go faster and deeper. I couldnt believe i had let you take over my entire life just because i love you so much. I was so drunk by your love that I forgot who needed my love the most, myself.
I'm not taking any of these anymore...
I walked to the bedroom to find you still sleeping peacefully on the bed, I checked the clock by the bedside table, it's now 5:15 in the morning and in almost two hours you will be awake. I brushed the hair away from forehead and gazed on how beautiful you are, and how lucky i was to have you, but you can be too selfish and possessive.
I dont know what came over me, must be the time of the day, must be destiny, i must have hit my head while asleep but this i must do now.
I took the notepad next to the clock, on top of it a note says, "Dinner with Ruki and Reita at eight."
I flipped the page and scribbled words on the empty paper. This is too cowardly, but this is the only time and only chance ive got to share my thoughts and the only way i can break the news to you.
-----
I woke up to find the bed empty next to to me, half awake, i got out of bed to find that i am alone inside the house.
I scanned the room, it looked the same but I think there were some stuffs missing. I saw that the corner where the easel used to be is empty, I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe you decided to throw or sell those off finally. I turned to get some breakfast when something caught my eye. Your expensive camera is not on the bookshelf anymore. I got a cringing feeling on my stomach and I felt my heart race, Im feeling scared especially since your laptop isnt next to mine.
No... no... Aoi, please no...
I raced to the front door and found out that a pair of your shoes is not in its place. I ran back to our bedroom to find your closet almost half empty. I looked around the room and noticed that the notepad has been moved, and a letter for me is sitting on top of the page.
I felt my tears falling and my hands trembling when I read the words you wrote for me.
"Uruha, this is the most pathetic way I can do to tell you how I feel. I guess im too coward to see your face, that if i see any of your reactions, i wont ever be able to tell you what i need you to hear. We've spent the last four years together and I was genuinely happy that you care for me, that you love me but i just recently noticed that i had let myself get imprisoned because i love you so much. And I need to get my freedom Uruha.
Tell Reita and Ruki to cancel dinner, I wont be able to make it. I'd also have Kai pick up my stuffs on Friday, i'll make sure you're not home and ill let him leave the apartment key after. Control your alcohol intake and eat three times a day. Dont overwork and be happy. Please be happy. I hope we can talk this all over again when I'm done sorting everything alone.
I love you. I swear I love you.
But you hold me down."
------------------------------------
Author's Notes: I'm not even sure if the whole story made sense. The plot has been on my head for a long time now and its not actually intended for Aoi and Uruha but decided to use them in the end. And please dont hate Uruha. It wasnt my intention for him to be hateful. Anyway, this is based on the song HOLD ME DOWN by MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK, and some parts of the song has been integrated to the story as well.
Part of the song in which this whole fic was insprired of:
"You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..."
Comments and Crits are welcome. ^__^
Author: paranoiascreams
Chapters: oneshot
Genre: Angst, AU
Pairing: Aoi x Uruha
Rating: PG - 13, Nagging!Uruha
Warning: unbeta'd
Disclaimer: I would probably be rich as hell if i own these boys.
Summary: I cant believe how long we've been together, that there's always the 'we'. Never the 'me', never the I. Just 'you' and 'we.'
Comments: Been a long time since i wrote about this pair, so forgive me if this is all i can deliver. Muse is still lost.
I make a cup of coffee when I woke up around 4 in the morning. I dont usually wake up this early, I hate mornings and 4 am is still part of the night for me and obviously an ungodly hour to wake up to.
I scanned the living room while i walk around with only my pajama bottoms on, my coffee cup on one hand, a freshly lit cigarette on the other. I walked around the living room and see our shoes neatly arranged by the front door, I smiled. I am glad we both hate messy places and we can agree that neatness is the number one priority of our apartment.
I walked around some more, I see our work desk, two laptops side by side on a long table, mine was black, yours was red, contrasting as it was, they complement each other well. I remember us laughing when we end up browsing each others' homepage at the same time, purely accidental or unintentional, we'll never know. I love it when we're being competitive on who's better on warcraft, of course it's me. You're just in denial that i beat you all the time, saying that the game is too manly for you to take it seriously.
I sat on the couch and fixed the two huge throw pillows and let it lean against the couch's rest. I leaned my head back and think about the times we laze around every Sunday afternoon here, when we're too bored to go out and we end up watching DVDs or reruns and we order Chinese takeouts and we spend the rest of the day in this very couch.
I saw our pictures in the frames atop our fireplace. We look so perfect together, with smiles painted on our faces, with love overflowing you can almost taste it outside the confines of the frames. I cant believe how long we've been together, that there's always the 'we'. Never the 'me', never the I. Just 'you' and 'we.'
'We' can be so fake. No. I can be so fake and so fucking weak.
-----
"No! No!!!! I told you a million times!"
"But Uruha, I mentioned this to you before, I need to paint."
"Aoi, I respect that you're an artist but I dont want paint in our apartment."
"I'll rent a studio, then."
"We cant afford that. Aoi, no. You even touch that easel again, i swear you wont stop hearing from me."
-----
And I didnt. I was scared that you'll hate me. And I didnt want that at that time. We just moved in together that week and Im not about to get myself thrown out to the streets, I never tried painting again so as not to upset you, even if there were days ive been itching to stroke a brush, mix colors and make art, i dared myself not to, its not worth losing you at that time so i stopped, and I guess time went by and I forgot that an easel even existed within our home.
I turned to the corner of the living room and found it by the isolated part near the bookshelf, dusting, aging, waiting, as if glaring at me for leaving him there. I sighed and walked near it, dusting it off, touching the rough texture of the canvas, I sighed. I wanted to immortalize you with the stroke of my brush and with my vivid imagination, but I guess I couldnt.
I walked a few steps away and turned to the bookshelf on my left, where my camera has been accumulating dust too, waiting patiently for me to touch it again and take random portraits of you, of us, of the places around us.
-----
"You're really testing my patience Aoi."
"Look, if I cant paint, I'd take pictures."
"You bought an expensive camera, and you're telling me, it's just a hobby?! We wont even profit from it? It's your own hobby, not mine."
"Dont worry about the money, if that was your concern, I bought it from my own pocket, not our joint account. I'll just go out on weekends to take some photos."
"Weekends?! But we only get to spend more time on weekends..." You pouted, and I know I cant escape the conversation unscathed if i continued, but I was stubborn.
"Uruha, please? You can tag along with me and you'll be my model." I smiled, you squinted your eyes.
"You're impossible." And you walked away.
-----
I still used it, dragging you with me on the first two weekends i when i first bought it, trying my best to lighten your mood that just wont even perk up, and when i point the camera at you, you scowl, and i click and i get a grumpy face in every shot i take, which is weird actually, since we love taking pictures together, and you love it when i take your pictures before, but when i used this camera, your mood is totally foul, like this camera is my 2nd girlfriend and I was cheating on you.
In the end i stopped using it, afraid that i will have to send you to anger management if i extend more than 8 weekends going out for random photoshoots.
And there were alot more that I cannot believe I let accumulate all because I love you, and I know you love me back, there are just times you forget that I am a person first and your lover second.
Like the time you broke my acoustic guitar strings, because at first you said it was sweet that i wrote songs for you but when I started spending more time on my guitar than you, you just had to cut it so i would be with you. I dunno how strong my patience was that time when you said you were just getting a little too jealous.
The surprise party I prepared on your birthday two years ago that you almost didnt enjoy because I made the wrong choice for the cake and i invited two of my friends that around that time i had no idea you hated so much.
I cringed and bit my lip, curling my fists, i can feel my breathing go faster and deeper. I couldnt believe i had let you take over my entire life just because i love you so much. I was so drunk by your love that I forgot who needed my love the most, myself.
I'm not taking any of these anymore...
I walked to the bedroom to find you still sleeping peacefully on the bed, I checked the clock by the bedside table, it's now 5:15 in the morning and in almost two hours you will be awake. I brushed the hair away from forehead and gazed on how beautiful you are, and how lucky i was to have you, but you can be too selfish and possessive.
I dont know what came over me, must be the time of the day, must be destiny, i must have hit my head while asleep but this i must do now.
I took the notepad next to the clock, on top of it a note says, "Dinner with Ruki and Reita at eight."
I flipped the page and scribbled words on the empty paper. This is too cowardly, but this is the only time and only chance ive got to share my thoughts and the only way i can break the news to you.
-----
I woke up to find the bed empty next to to me, half awake, i got out of bed to find that i am alone inside the house.
I scanned the room, it looked the same but I think there were some stuffs missing. I saw that the corner where the easel used to be is empty, I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe you decided to throw or sell those off finally. I turned to get some breakfast when something caught my eye. Your expensive camera is not on the bookshelf anymore. I got a cringing feeling on my stomach and I felt my heart race, Im feeling scared especially since your laptop isnt next to mine.
No... no... Aoi, please no...
I raced to the front door and found out that a pair of your shoes is not in its place. I ran back to our bedroom to find your closet almost half empty. I looked around the room and noticed that the notepad has been moved, and a letter for me is sitting on top of the page.
I felt my tears falling and my hands trembling when I read the words you wrote for me.
"Uruha, this is the most pathetic way I can do to tell you how I feel. I guess im too coward to see your face, that if i see any of your reactions, i wont ever be able to tell you what i need you to hear. We've spent the last four years together and I was genuinely happy that you care for me, that you love me but i just recently noticed that i had let myself get imprisoned because i love you so much. And I need to get my freedom Uruha.
Tell Reita and Ruki to cancel dinner, I wont be able to make it. I'd also have Kai pick up my stuffs on Friday, i'll make sure you're not home and ill let him leave the apartment key after. Control your alcohol intake and eat three times a day. Dont overwork and be happy. Please be happy. I hope we can talk this all over again when I'm done sorting everything alone.
I love you. I swear I love you.
But you hold me down."
------------------------------------
Author's Notes: I'm not even sure if the whole story made sense. The plot has been on my head for a long time now and its not actually intended for Aoi and Uruha but decided to use them in the end. And please dont hate Uruha. It wasnt my intention for him to be hateful. Anyway, this is based on the song HOLD ME DOWN by MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK, and some parts of the song has been integrated to the story as well.
Part of the song in which this whole fic was insprired of:
"You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..."
Comments and Crits are welcome. ^__^