(no subject)
I'm sorry if my lack of updating has really bothered anyone, though I hope and believe it hasn't. For the record, I've wanted to update several times over the past couple of months, but my sense of fairness regarding LJ has stopped me. You all know that sometimes I can hardly find the time to go online at all, right? I first try to take care of YSRMB and SAAS, which can be time consuming, then there's LJ. The thing is, I have a ton(though not as many as some) of people on my friends list. Usually, if I comment, I want to comment on *everyones'* latest entries. Because I'm interested in everyones' lives, and because I don't want anyone thinking that I don't care about them, if I were to reply to some journals and not others. But as I have so many people on my list, and given that I normally try to leave thought out replies, replying to everyone once can be a two hour task for me. So if I don't feel I can get everyone in the time I have, I don't reply to anyone, and I especially don't update my own LJ. I worry that would seem selfish - to not reply to others, yet update my own.
I guess I wanted to explain that for everyone, and particularly Beth, aka Tenshi Arashi on LJ. It seems that, like any human will, she went on an angst spree because some of her formerly listed friends did not reply to her LJ much. I don't know if she trashed me in particular or everyone who didn't reply much, but I'm now off her friends list. That's fine, and I'm not making any plea with her to be added once more. I just hoped that either she would read this, or someone like Chris might relay it to her somehow. So that she knows I'm sorry my lack of activity on LJ hurt her. While it really bothers me when people get pissy like that at people without considering life circumstances which might prevent much LJ activity, then trash them and try to kick them out of their lives - I also understand that Beth is going through hard times, and is very emotionally volatile. I do want her to also know that while I may not have been on LJ much, and hence did not see her LJ much, Chris has relayed events in her life to me per request, and I've tried(perhaps futily) to think of options for her.
Now that I've typed that, what to type about my life? It's been eventful, in at least ways that I would consider eventful for my own life. Have had some downs: nearly lost friends like Cris, Autumn, and Amber. Discussed long unresolved issues with Brooke, and found her ending sentiment to be dismaying. Became too used to having someone physically around alot, so I was illogically sad for awhile when my maternal person moved out and back to Yuma for her other children. Not sad in that I would stop her from going if I could, as Scott and Kellee really need to get the fuck out of Michigan, and away from their father. It was just depressing to be alone in this living space once more, though I've since grown accustomed again. Well, and I have other feelings regarding my family. Because they often excluded me from their group activities, and didn't seem to enjoy my presence, I always felt mother, Scott and Kellee were the family, and I was not. So once they're back together in Yuma, I guess things will be as they should be. And even though the days of living with them are long since past, I suppose it's still somewhat hurtful to know how things are, how they feel about me, and that they'll most likely forget about me now(given living circumstances).
Also had an upsetting chat with...someone, last night, which made me think about alot of things. I stayed up for hours afterward, contemplating a course of action. In the meantime, I've done other things in response, just not quite the big thing I was thinking of(that thing remains to be seen). Oh, and of course there's Beth. Kind of sucks to feel like I let her down, and that she wants nothing to do with me.
Ah, but where there are downs, there are also ups. Things have been nice with Lisa, of course. My team at work will soon be getting a monthly bonus system, given that we've long been working harder than most others in that place. Hal Jordan has been resurrected in DC, has his own GL series again, so I'm all into comic book fandom once more. Uh, the people I nearly lost as friends, have since stayed. As long as certain things work out, I'll be meeting Kate, Paige, Chris and possibly Autumn in early August. Kate invited Lisa, myself and others to spend a few days with her at her family's NJ beach house. Er, I guess I'd also be meeting Paige's mother, but I don't know yet if that's going to be bane or boon. My father's going to be visiting in a week. It's always fun to hang out with him. I'm having alot of fun doing QA's at YSRMB, and just being at YSRMB in general. With inspiration via Darcy, I've again begun using images(manipulated and otherwise) for comedy purposes. Of course, none of it can compare to the funny shit he's done, but I and others were amused with 60's Hal Jordan 'slapping the black' off a white guy.
Got to talk to Adrienne on the phone yesterday, for the first time. That was probably one of the most enjoyable, refreshing things I've been able to do in awhile. Though were I to talk to Adrienne and Raine in a 3 way conversation, I'd be having a time distinguishing betwixt them. Though it would be possible. Adrienne has a slightly softer tone of voice than Raine, and does not use English slang as much as Raine(bloody bastard, making a statement and saying 'yeah?' at the end, etc.). Other than that, it would be quite difficult.
That's everything in a nutshell. Now to traverse across my friends list =O
I guess I wanted to explain that for everyone, and particularly Beth, aka Tenshi Arashi on LJ. It seems that, like any human will, she went on an angst spree because some of her formerly listed friends did not reply to her LJ much. I don't know if she trashed me in particular or everyone who didn't reply much, but I'm now off her friends list. That's fine, and I'm not making any plea with her to be added once more. I just hoped that either she would read this, or someone like Chris might relay it to her somehow. So that she knows I'm sorry my lack of activity on LJ hurt her. While it really bothers me when people get pissy like that at people without considering life circumstances which might prevent much LJ activity, then trash them and try to kick them out of their lives - I also understand that Beth is going through hard times, and is very emotionally volatile. I do want her to also know that while I may not have been on LJ much, and hence did not see her LJ much, Chris has relayed events in her life to me per request, and I've tried(perhaps futily) to think of options for her.
Now that I've typed that, what to type about my life? It's been eventful, in at least ways that I would consider eventful for my own life. Have had some downs: nearly lost friends like Cris, Autumn, and Amber. Discussed long unresolved issues with Brooke, and found her ending sentiment to be dismaying. Became too used to having someone physically around alot, so I was illogically sad for awhile when my maternal person moved out and back to Yuma for her other children. Not sad in that I would stop her from going if I could, as Scott and Kellee really need to get the fuck out of Michigan, and away from their father. It was just depressing to be alone in this living space once more, though I've since grown accustomed again. Well, and I have other feelings regarding my family. Because they often excluded me from their group activities, and didn't seem to enjoy my presence, I always felt mother, Scott and Kellee were the family, and I was not. So once they're back together in Yuma, I guess things will be as they should be. And even though the days of living with them are long since past, I suppose it's still somewhat hurtful to know how things are, how they feel about me, and that they'll most likely forget about me now(given living circumstances).
Also had an upsetting chat with...someone, last night, which made me think about alot of things. I stayed up for hours afterward, contemplating a course of action. In the meantime, I've done other things in response, just not quite the big thing I was thinking of(that thing remains to be seen). Oh, and of course there's Beth. Kind of sucks to feel like I let her down, and that she wants nothing to do with me.
Ah, but where there are downs, there are also ups. Things have been nice with Lisa, of course. My team at work will soon be getting a monthly bonus system, given that we've long been working harder than most others in that place. Hal Jordan has been resurrected in DC, has his own GL series again, so I'm all into comic book fandom once more. Uh, the people I nearly lost as friends, have since stayed. As long as certain things work out, I'll be meeting Kate, Paige, Chris and possibly Autumn in early August. Kate invited Lisa, myself and others to spend a few days with her at her family's NJ beach house. Er, I guess I'd also be meeting Paige's mother, but I don't know yet if that's going to be bane or boon. My father's going to be visiting in a week. It's always fun to hang out with him. I'm having alot of fun doing QA's at YSRMB, and just being at YSRMB in general. With inspiration via Darcy, I've again begun using images(manipulated and otherwise) for comedy purposes. Of course, none of it can compare to the funny shit he's done, but I and others were amused with 60's Hal Jordan 'slapping the black' off a white guy.
Got to talk to Adrienne on the phone yesterday, for the first time. That was probably one of the most enjoyable, refreshing things I've been able to do in awhile. Though were I to talk to Adrienne and Raine in a 3 way conversation, I'd be having a time distinguishing betwixt them. Though it would be possible. Adrienne has a slightly softer tone of voice than Raine, and does not use English slang as much as Raine(bloody bastard, making a statement and saying 'yeah?' at the end, etc.). Other than that, it would be quite difficult.
That's everything in a nutshell. Now to traverse across my friends list =O