How to Marry a Millionaire (Parts I-IV)
Summary: Part of the 48 Rules Verse
Hey, Minions! You didn't hear this from me, but a little birdie told me that Jensen Ackles, our favorite male diva, never a bridesmaid, always a bride, is getting married. Again! This will be the sixth time for Ackles and the first time for his loverboy, Jared Padalecki. Jared Pada-who, you ask? Well, here's the scoop: he's Ackles' former personal assistant and current hot shot publicist for Cohen-Cassidy. Apparently very personal since wedding bells are in the air. Will the sixth time be the charm for Ackles or will it just be his sixth trip to a lawyer to divide the assets? Only time will tell. I just hope that this time there's a pre-nup. The last divorce was brutal. Speaking of brutal…
Jared closes the lid on his laptop with a sigh, abruptly ending Misha Collins webcast. Apparently Jared is the only person on the planet who thinks his marriage to Jensen will last longer than the average life of a fruit fly. Even Jensen seems be brushing the whole thing off; every time Jared asks about the wedding, he directs Jared to Alona Tal, his new assistant. But Jared doesn't want to plan the wedding with an assistant, he wants to plan it with his future husband.
"Jared? Jared? Earth to Jared."
Turning his chair toward the door, Jared finds Katie leaning against the doorframe with a smirk on her face. Peeking over her shoulder is Lauren who's wearing a similar expression.
"What?" Jared huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Two words," Katie says while Lauren holds up two fingers. "Tequila. Thursday."
"Oh hell no," Jared responds immediately. "The last time you dragged me there I threw up for a week."
"But it's also karoke night!" Lauren chimes in.
"You know you can't resist karoke," Katie adds with a grin. "It's your kryptonite."
"I thought that was Jensen's ass," Lauren mutters just loud enough for Jared to hear.
"Hey!" Jared protests even though it's completely and utterly true.
"C'mon," Katie pleads. "If you don't come with us, that skeezy bartender will hit on Lauren and she'll break his nose again and I really don't enjoy doing publicity work for my own girlfriend."
"As if," Lauren huffs. "I can take care of myself."
Jared waves his hands, hoping to stave off an argument between the two women. "Okay, fine. But you're buying."
**
As always, karaoke night is a complete madhouse. It takes Jared ten minutes just to fight his way to the sign-up sheet and when he finally gets there, he puts himself and the girls down for "Respect" even though they'll have to wait a half-hour, at least, before they get up there. For all his protesting, Jared doesn't really mind. He has to find something to fill his time with considering that Jensen is usually too busy with his career to spend quality time with Jared that isn't in bed. So Jared does karaoke night with the girls and he takes pottery classes with Sandy. He volunteers at the animal shelter, and plays two-on-two with Chad, Mike, and Tom. And has a French and an Italian tutor so on the rare occasions when he flies with Jensen on photo shoots, he can wander around on his own and not get lost.
"Hey," Katie shouts in his ear. "We got a table, c'mon."
Jared dutifully follows her to the back where Lauren is guarding the table with the power of her glare alone. But when she sees Katie, her face lights up, like they haven't seen each other in days instead of just minutes. The girls are like oil and water, but somehow they make it work. Lauren adores Katie and Katie obviously feels the same. It's there in every touch, every look, even when they're just talking about each other. Jared can't help but wonder what his relationship looks like to outsiders; does Jensen ever look at him with awe in his eyes when he thinks no one is looking?
"Alright! Shots!" Katie crows as a waiter sets the glasses on the table.
The shots are a rainbow of colors and Jared can easily envision just what his puke will look like the next day. So he should really beg off, but instead he pounds the row of shots back, Skittles and vodka mixing and exploding on his tongue.
"Whoo!" Lauren exhales after taking the last shot. "Now we're talking."
Katie starts telling a story about one of their clients, but it's hard to hear her over the caterwauling of some of the karaoke singers. Lauren jumps in on occasion, but she and Jared both know that Katie is a chatty drunk, and they let her carry on. Jared takes a few more shots in preparation for going on stage, something he's never overly thrilled about doing. He's not one for attention like that, but he can admit it's fun.
Soon their names are called and Lauren drags him up onto the stage, placing him front and center with the microphone, her and Katie playing back-up. The words bounce on the screen, hard to read sober, much less drunk, but Jared knows this song well enough and he fakes what he doesn't. It's easy to get into it anyway. He could use some R-E-S-P-E-C-T from Jensen anyway. And as he thinks about it, he gets more and more into the song, dancing on the stage and shouting as though Jensen is sitting out in the audience.
He barely notices when the song ends, only getting off the stage because Lauren drags him; they girl is stronger than she looks. The girls haul him outside and pour him into a cab, telling him to be safe and cheer up and stop being such a downer, but they're giggling through every word, so Jared finds it hard to take them seriously.
**
Jared stumbles up the stairs of the house and into the bedroom. He's surprised to see Jensen there, fast asleep. Jensen is supposed to be someplace else, Jared is sure. Although now that he doesn't keep Jensen's schedule, sometimes Jared gets things confused.
"Jensen," Jared whispers. "You awake?"
"I am now," Jensen groans. "You make more noise than a herd of elephants when you're drunk."
"I'm not that drunk," Jared protests.
"Mmm hmm," Jensen murmurs, clearly not believing it.
Jared climbs into bed and leans half over Jensen, nuzzling at his neck. "I can show you just how not drunk I am."
"Oh?" Jensen finally opens his eyes. "That so?"
Jensen is naked under the covers and Jared is still wearing the clothes he put on twelve hours ago to go to the office and Jared thinks that's kind of sexy. He likes how uninhibited Jensen can be in just about everything he does.
"You're always so hot," Jared says against Jensen's skin. "Always want you so much."
"You have me," Jensen whispers. "You have me."
**
They've been engaged for nearly a month, but they've done absolutely nothing as far as the wedding goes other than hire a wedding planner. It's not like Jared wants to rush to the altar, but Jensen's complete lack of interest in moving things along is a bit disconcerting. But every time Jared brings it up, Jensen always says something like, "But I've been married so many times. Why rush?" or "I've already planned five weddings, I don't need to plan this one," or "We have plenty of time, Jared, don't worry."
None of those reasons make Jared stop worrying. Not even a little bit.
**
"It's like he doesn't really want to get married," Jared complains to Chad. "Like he proposed just because he didn't know what to get me for Christmas."
"You didn't know what to get him either," Chad reminds him. "But I didn't see you proposing."
"I just don't want this to be yet another wedding, yet another marriage for him," Jared sighs.
"I don't know what to tell you, man." Chad shrugs. "I don't know the guy like you do, but it seems like he's into it. Like it's not just another wedding for him."
"Really?" Jared asks.
"Yeah, really." Chad nudges Jared with his shoulder. "Now quit being so maudlin and buy me a beer."
Jared flips Chad off, but he goes up to the bar anyway, figuring he owes Chad something for having been his sounding board regarding Jensen for months.
**
Alona Tal is not the friendliest person on the planet. Not even months of dealing with her nearly every day has warmed her up where Jared is concerned. She's always in professional mode, which works well when it comes to Jensen, but just makes Jared feel like he's a burden interrupting her day. If she didn't possess Jensen's infamous black book, Jared would probably never speak to the woman.
"Jensen Ackles' office. How may I direct your call?"
"Hey, Alona. It's Jared."
Jared can practically hear her rolling her eyes. "Yes, Jared. What can I do for you?"
"Is Jensen available right now?"
"No. He's at a photo shoot for Calvin Klein and then he's got an interview with Men's Health. I can pencil you in for 8 tonight for about fifteen minutes, before his manicurist comes."
"Just… never mind," Jared mutters and then hangs up.
Sighing heavily, Jared shoves his cell phone in his pocket and then enters Mel's, a dive bar with the best hamburgers on the planet, to meet his friends. At least he doesn't have to call two months in advance to make an appointment to see them.
"Yo, Jared," Chad waves him over to a table in the back corner. He's sitting with Tom, Mike, Sandy, and Sandy's boyfriend, Aldis.
After Morgan fled the country, his friends weren't sure if they would be able to keep their jobs, but the firm that bought the company kept them on. They stayed for a while, but then Sandy quit to go back to school, Mike got a better offer at a rival company, and Chad and Tom opened a consulting company. Or at least that's what Chad calls it. If you ask Tom, they're wedding planners. But Jared lets Chad keep the illusion that his man card hasn't been taken away yet. Who knew the guy was so handy with a sewing machine, anyway?
Jared slides into the empty seat across from Mike and nods his hellos at the group. Chad slides him a beer and Jared takes a big gulp before setting it back down.
"That bad, huh?" Sandy asks, her eyes sympathetic.
"Is it too much to ask for my fiancé to actually show interest in our wedding?" Jared bemoans.
"I'm guessing you couldn't get ahold of him to go over any of the details? Not even setting the date?" Tom asks with a frown.
"Puh-lease," Chad snorts. "Jared has to be penciled in with that ice queen assistant of his to get a blow job."
"Don't exaggerate, Chad," Sandy admonishes.
"He's not exaggerating," Jared mutters before gulping down the rest of his beer.
"Dude's got a fine ass, but hitting it can't be that worth it," Mike says.
"You guys just don’t know him like I do," Jared says as he picks at the label on the bottle. "He's…"
Jared trails off. What exactly is there to say about Jensen? It's not like he's a different person around Jared or something. He's just as much of a diva if not more so. But that's part of the attraction. Jared can admit that he's addicted to the drama of it all, that he likes their banter and petty fights and the make-up sex. The make-up sex is beyond phenomenal. They've broken the bed a couple of times during it. But there is a softer side to Jensen, a vulnerable side that Jared loves and feels very protective over. That's the side that no one sees, but it's also the side Jared doesn't want anyone to see.
"He's just… Jensen. I can't explain it," Jared finishes with a shrug. He turns to Aldis, hoping to change the subject. "So, how's the construction business?"
Thankfully, Aldis launches into a story about a building inspector and a foot-long sandwich, dragging the group's attention off Jared and his love life. Jared half-listens in, half-wonders what Jensen is doing right now. Probably prancing around in his underwear, flirting with the other models, and not thinking about Jared at all.
**
"So, I was thinking a very pale shade of green or a navy blue for the tuxedos, depending on what location and date you choose for the wedding. I know what you're thinking, pale green tuxedos? But they would be linen, summer weight. With linen shirts, I think. Unbuttoned, no ties. And sandals or bare feet. I always thought weddings on the beach were so romantic. But if you're looking for something more traditional, I still think you should stay away from black. Too funeral-y prom night. Oh! If you do a winter wedding we could do navy blue pea coats. Or we could go very untraditional. I've seen some couples do kimonos, leather, even bath robes. Both of you could get away with wearing just about anything. Even going nude. Although you might want to make it a smaller wedding if you're going to go nude. There was this wedding we planned a couple of months ago and they invited half the world to it, but it was a nude wedding. I think the guests were traumatized. It's not like the bride or the groom had a figure like yours. Or Jensen's. Oh, and speaking of trauma, I highly recommend that if you're doing an outdoor wedding that you provide sunscreen or some kind of shade. You don't want a hundred sun burned people remembering nothing but that about the whole ceremony. And I'm sure Jensen freckles easily with his fair skin. But if you do an indoor wedding, they're never as picturesque. Even the nicest ball rooms look like concrete bunkers in these photos. Unless you go with something historical. But then you have to worry about what's allowed and what's not. I tell you, those historical buildings have so many rules. What's wrong with a few candles? It's not like I planned to burn the place down. That would ruin the wedding."
Tom keeps going on and on about fabrics and locations and dates, but Jared isn't really listening. He's texting Jensen on his cell under the table, getting more and more pissed off with every message.
Jared: are you at least going to help me pick a wedding date?
Jensen: I don't know when I'm free. Ask AT.
Jared: I don't want to ask AT. She isn't my fiancée!
Jensen: darling, you know that I don't know my own schedule.
Jared: so you ask her and get back to me.
Jensen: what's the difference?
"Motherfucker," Jared swears aloud, forgetting about Tom.
"Excuse me?" Tom huffs. "There's no need to be so rude. I can order lilies if you're that hung up about them."
"What?" Jared asks, tossing his cell phone on the desk. "No, sorry, Tom. I wasn't yelling at you."
"Ugh, quit sexting Jensen and pay attention," Tom admonishes. "Picking your flowers is the most important part. It sets the tone of the wedding."
"We weren't sexting," Jared mutters.
"Anyway," Tom says with emphasis, clearly not believing Jared. "I don't think you should do lilies if it's a winter wedding. Maybe roses. Roses aren't so passé in winter."
Jared closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Maybe there isn't going to be a wedding."
"What?!" Tom yelps.
"Well, if Jensen having no interest whatsoever in planning this wedding is any indication of how this marriage is going to go then maybe I don't want to marry him," Jared says all in a rush.
"Oh sweetie." Tom pats his hand. "You don't mean that. He's always been like this and you never had a problem with it before."
Jared stands up and runs a hand through his hair. "No. But this is different. This isn't him missing my birthday because he had a photo shoot in Milan or forgetting that he promised to come to my nephew's recital or forgetting his aunt's coming to visit while he's doing some crazy Japanese commercial so I'm forced into entertaining the women when she hates me or giving me a blow job instead of actually saying 'I'm sorry' for any of the hundreds of other shitty things he's done. This is our wedding. It's supposed to be special. But it isn't to him because I'm just husband number six."
"Sixth and last," Tom promises.
"We'll see." Jared sits back down, nearly collapsing into the chair. "Anyway, if he's not going to get involved then I'm picking the wedding date. I want a fall wedding. September, maybe."
"That's the spirit!" Tom beams.
He pulls out a stack of binders on fall weddings and Jared sifts through them while Tom keeps babbling on about color schemes. There are so many things to consider from invitations to cakes to the smallest things like place cards. It's completely overwhelming and Jared is supposed to somehow do it all alone.
**
When Jared gets home, arms laden with "homework" from Tom, Jensen is standing in the foyer, yelling at one of the maids about a speck of dust on one of the annoying little display tables that line the hallway. Jared has knocked the damn things over dozens of times and the lacquer on them attracts dust like a magnet. It's not like they even have anything on them. They just stand there and look artful, each one deigned as a different piece of fruit. Jensen doesn't even like fruit.
Walking up to the one Jensen is complaining about, Jared dumps the stack of binders on it. Jensen glares at him while the maid scurries off, throwing Jared a thankful look over her shoulder. Someday Jensen is going to have to address his OCD like a rational human being, but Jared has enough trouble getting Jensen to eat calories, much less dive into his fear of dust.
"That was entirely unnecessary," Jensen huffs.
"It was completely necessary. These tables are hideous," Jared retorts.
Jensen pouts for a second and then launches himself into Jared's arms, kissing him soundly. This is what makes all of Jensen's craziness worth it. He's absolutely adorable and completely free with affection when it's just him and Jared.
"I missed you," Jensen says when they break apart, keeping his arms looped around Jared's neck. "Where have you been?"
"You know where I've been," Jared sighs in exasperation.
"Oh, Jared. You know I'm horrible with remembering things like that," Jensen pouts.
"I was planning our wedding. With Tom," Jared says with emphasis, trying valiantly to hold his temper in check.
"You're good at that," Jensen says.
Jared frowns. "Good at what?"
"Planning," Jensen answers with a soft smile. "Keeping me in check."
"Yeah, well, you've got Alona to do that for you now," Jared huffs, not wanting to give in and give up his bad mood.
"She may keep my schedule, but you're my compass." Jensen nuzzles Jared's neck. "I promise I'll be at the next appointment." He looks up, eyes wide and glimmering. "Forgive me?"
It's not like Jared didn't know he was wrapped around Jensen's little finger, but it hits him like a punch to the gut right then. He'd let Jensen get away with murder. He really would. Not only would he let Jensen get away with it, but he'd probably clean up the mess and bury the body.
"Yeah, I forgive you," Jared mutters.
Jensen presses a soft kiss behind Jared's ear. "I was thinking September for the wedding."
Jared smiles despite himself. At least they're still in the same book, if not the same page when it comes to the wedding. "Yeah, me too."
**
For a few days, things are easier. Jensen dutifully attends a planning session with Tom where they finally set the actual date, September 19th, and place, Paris, of course. But when it comes to anything more in-depth like colors, flowers, cakes, or even who to invite, Jensen is completely useless and uninterested. Jared tries not to take it personally as Jensen tends to flit from subject to subject like a butterfly on ecstasy, but it's hard considering Jared thinks this slightly more important than what fabric Jensen will use in his Spring fashion line or who he wants to collaborate with on his next record or what movie he might star in or if the yoga he's doing is actually burning fat cells or not.
"Maybe I should just kidnap him. Take him to Paris and we can elope," Jared says over the phone to his mother while he flips through one of the travel guides Tom sent him home with to study.
"And deny me the right to see my son get married? I don't think so, mister."
"But what's the point of me planning all of this myself? It's like getting married to… myself!" Jared protests. "And you haven't even met him because I can't even get him to do that. I can't get him to do anything. It's like he's immune to all persuasion. To every word that comes out of my mouth."
"Jared, my darling son, I'm sure you can think of a way to be a bit more persuasive."
Jared blinks at her lascivious tone. "Mom!"
"What? There's nothing wrong with it."
"I'm hanging up now, seriously. Before I'm scarred for life," Jared says.
His mother laughs heartily. "Goodbye, dear."
Maybe his mother does have a point though. Jensen certainly uses sex as a bargaining tool often enough. Maybe it's time Jared does the same.
**
Even attempting to withhold sex from Jensen proves to be extremely difficult because Jensen is basically sex personified. He walks around their bedroom in these tiny pairs of briefs that are somehow worse than if he wandered around completely naked and even fully clothed, Jared has never been able to keep his eyes off his ass, the subtle sway of his hips from his bow legs, or the smooth, tapered line of his back. Jared tries to think about death and bugs and the time he saw his mother in a thong on accident, but Jensen seems to just blast every thought out of his head like magic, every time. He's like a magnet that erases everything off Jared's hard drive except the need for sex.
"Nargh," Jared moans when Jensen bends over to get something out of one of the drawers in their walk-in closet.
Jensen shakes his ass a bit. "Like what you see?"
"You know I do," Jared murmurs. Stepping forward, he palms the back of one of Jensen's thighs.
"Yeah," Jensen says, all breathy. "Want you."
Jared starts to slide his hand up higher, and then stops, mentally shaking himself. "First you help me pick the theme of the wedding."
Jensen turns around and hooks his thigh around Jared's waist, pulling Jared closer while running a finger down his chest. "That so?"
"Yeah," Jared manages to choke out. "That's so."
With a sigh, Jensen steps away and walks to another part of the closet. "You forget that I've already had a wedding. Several of them in fact."
"I don't care about the other weddings," Jared nearly growls in frustration. "This is our wedding. Ours. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this."
"What I'm trying to say is that this is your first wedding and I want you to choose," Jensen says, his voice muffled by the rack of clothes he's currently digging through.
"My only wedding, I hope," Jared responds softly.
Jensen comes out from behind the rack of clothes and smiles brightly. "I hope so, too. And that's why I want it to be special for you."
"It will be special for me. But I want it to be special for both of us," Jared pleads.
"Okay." Jensen steps up and kisses him. "Okay, I'll help."
"It means a lot to me," Jared says sincerely.
"I know," Jensen smiles. "I know."
**
After that, the wedding planning goes a bit smoother at least in the sense that Jensen is involved. Jared should've remembered Jensen's exacting standards for everything under the sun from dusting to fabrics to food to cleaning supplies. If Jared thought Jensen was obsessive about the proper method for cleaning the oven, it's nothing compared to him sitting in the living room surrounded by every flower known to man looking for the perfect one for the centerpieces at the reception.
"Carnations are so cheap, but you can dye them different colors, so we can customize. But you can't deny the exotic look of an orchid or ibis. Except the, ahem, feminine vision the planet gives. Then there are lilies, but they always make me think of funerals. Roses are too passé, let's not even think about those. Tulips, maybe. They would be out of season, but it's not like money is an object. Daises look too innocent and we both know that neither of us are that. We could go with something bold like sunflowers. Or there's native wild flowers…"
Jared tunes out around that time and just watches Jensen throw flowers across the room as he rejects them. It's like watching a very violent version of 'he loves me, he loves me not'. He really feels bad for the maids who will not only have to clean this mess up, but also get yelled at for not doing it right. At least Jensen pays them well.
"Blue bonnets," Jared finally jumps in.
"What?" Jensen pauses in the midst of ripping apart a bunch of daises.
"Well, we're both originally from Texas," Jared reasons. "It's the state flower and my grandma always had them in her backyard."
Jensen tosses the daises behind him and tackles Jared to the floor. He's grinning like a loon as he stares down into Jared's eyes. "Perfect. You're perfect."
He kisses Jared then, and Jared lets him, his hands moving up and down Jensen's back in soft circles. These are the times that Jared thinks about the most when it comes to Jensen; how sweet he can be sometimes, how shy and almost innocent in his own way.
"I can't wait to marry you," Jared whispers against Jensen's lips.
"Yeah?" Jensen smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling like they do when he's really happy.
Jared rolls Jensen under him, cupping his head to protect him from the wooden floor. He smiles down at his fiancé, cataloguing the look of pure adoration on his face, saving it for the next time Jensen drives him up the wall. "Of course."
**
"Going to the chapel and we're going to get married. Going to the chapel o' love…"
Jared winces at Chad's caterwauling, but tries not to move considering that Chad is working on the hem of his pants and every break in his concentration causes Jared to get pin pricked. If Tom's rambling about themes wasn't bad enough, there's this to add onto the torture, and Jared begins to wonder why he hired them to do his and Jensen's wedding.
"Quit torturing my boyfriend," Jensen admonishes from the chaise he's lounging on.
As always, he looks like something out of a catalogue. Or porn. Draped over the furniture like it was made specifically for his body. His hand tucked up under his cheek like he's about to fall asleep, lips parted in a soft smile. Jensen is absolutely gorgeous and Jared just wants to drape himself on top of Jensen, kiss him senseless.
"Dude," Chad yelps. "You are not seriously getting a boner right now."
Blushing fiercely, Jared thinks about dead people again until he's got himself a bit more under control. "No, I'm totally not."
"You totally were, dear," Jensen sing songs.
"Keep it up and there'll be no sex tonight, honey," Jared sing songs back.
"So you say," Jensen smirks.
"Don't act so cocky," Jared warns playfully.
"Ugh, stop flirting. You're disgusting," Chad bemoans.
"You're just jealous that you're always a bridesmaid, never a bride," Jared laughs.
"Fuck you, man," Chad snorts. "Ain't nothing wrong with that."
"Are you done yet?" Jensen asks through a yawn.
"Keep your pants on," Chad mutters.
Jensen turns slightly so he's lying on his back and pulls out his phone. "Alona just texted me to tell me I'm late for an interview or something."
"The GQ one?" Jared asks.
"Yup." Jensen puts his phone away. "I'm sure they'll find someone else to put on next month's cover."
"You don't have to-"
Jensen tilts his head to meet Jared's eyes. "Yeah, I do. I'm staying."
Jared smiles at him. "Thanks."
Chad makes a choking noise. "Ugh, seriously. I'm going to puke." And Jared and Jensen just laugh.
**
It's nice to have Jensen home more often and strange that when Jared actually worked for Jensen, he felt that Jensen wasn't doing any work, but now it seems like that's all he does. Jensen keeps telling Jared that the amount of work is equivalent to which project is at what stage, and Jared did only work for him for a few months, but it's still odd to go from having to make an appointment to see his fiancé to having him around most of the time.
"So, I think we should do something non-wedding-related today," Jensen says as he cuts his banana into precise quarter-inch slices.
"Yeah, what do you have in mind?" Jared asks between sips of orange juice.
"Maybe we could go shopping," Jensen suggests.
Jared inwardly groans at the suggestion. On the one hand, shopping gets Jensen ridiculously horny. On the other hand, it's an activity that can easily drag on for hours, leaving Jared to cover his raging hard-on with an ever increasing number of shopping bags. The last time they went, Jared swore he was about ready to shove Jensen to the ground in the middle of the store and fuck him senseless, onlookers be damned.
"Yeah?" Jared asks cautiously and noncommittally.
"Like, down at the farmer's market," Jensen elaborates.
"Is that a new boutique?" Jared asks, confused.
Jensen throws him a look like Jared's an idiot. "No, it's where you buy fruits and vegetables."
"Right," Jared says slowly. "And you want to go there. Where there's dirt."
"I'm not afraid of dirt," Jensen huffs.
"Right," Jared repeats, this time even slower.
"Just get dressed," Jensen demands before throwing a slice of banana at Jared's face. "Before I leave without you."
**
Going out in public with Jensen usually turns into an event, which is why Jared never just throws on a pair of sweats to run errands anymore because even he is now subject to the paparazzi that normally follows Jensen around like a cloud. Even going someplace like the farmer's market Jensen dresses like he's going to a fashion show, so Jared feels obligated to do the same. It's stressful to have to always be on instead of just being himself.
So he spends twenty minutes going through his very small section of their walk in closet. He wants to wear jeans, but which designer? Are the dark washed ones still in fashion? Should he wear the wide leg ones or the skinny jeans? Is he going to look like a bodyguard instead of a boyfriend if he wears a plain t-shirt? If he wears something with a design on it, will it be too bold or too subtle?
In the end, he wears his favorite pair of jeans, the ones that cling to his ass and thighs in all the right places, and then tries on five different shirts before he settles on a plain, white linen button down that's nearly see through. Then there's the shoes: what even goes with this outfit? Not gym shoes, that's for sure. But Jared isn't trampling through a farmer's market in dress shoes either. With a shake of his head, he puts on brown sandals and figures at least he'll be comfortable.
**
There are only two paparazzi following them around the farmer's market and they're pretty discreet. Jared tries not to notice them, tries to just follow Jensen around as he flits from stall to stall. Jensen, of course, is wearing clothes from his own label and he looks phenomenal in them as always. Jared can't resist leaning in close to him as Jensen examines a selection of French pastries that he'll never eat.
"Why do you torture yourself?" Jared asks with a shake of his head. "You know you'll never eat any of them."
"But you will," Jensen answers with a soft smile. He turns to the stall vendor and speaks in rapid French. Something about croissants, chocolate, and many mentions of a petit something or other, which causes the stall vendor to wink at Jared a couple of times. After a few minutes, the man hands Jensen a paper sack with broad grin for both of them.
"What was that all about?" Jared asks as he slips his arm around Jensen's waist to guide him to the next stall.
"Just bragging about my hot boyfriend," Jensen teases. He turns his head and kisses Jared's cheek before slipping away, down another aisle.
Jared follows after him, a blush staining his cheeks. He really hopes the paparazzi aren't taking pictures of him right that second. They have more than enough evidence that Jared is a total sucker for Jensen.
**
Two days later, Jensen is on a plane to Russia where he'll be starring in an ad for some vodka. Jensen gets a lot of these gigs in foreign countries now. He's been the face of luxury cars in Japan, beer in Germany, a line of shoes in Italy, some kind of toy in Australia, a sun tan lotion in Brazil, and now this. Jared hardly ever travels with him on these ventures. The one time he did go, for an ad about cheese in Spain, Jared was bored out of his mind. It's not like Jensen does anything fun. He just stands there and looks pretty, maybe says a few lines in the native language if it's a television ad. And the gigs are usually short so it's not like Jared can make his own fun. Usually they're back on a plane within hours. Jared doesn't know how Jensen's body adjusts to all the constant shifts in time zones.
So Jared stays behind and does some extra work in the office. Cohen-Cassidy is bustling now with a staff of six, twice what they started with when Jared joined. Jared mainly handles the model division, but has some musicians, too. He hardly ever actually sees any of his clients face-to-face, so he's surprised when Katie's admin pops his head in his office, and says one of them is there to see him.
A stocky man with long brown hair and startling blue eyes steps in. He doesn't look at all familiar, but Jared stands, shakes his hand, and gestures for him to take a seat. Frantically, he tries to remember who the hell this is, but comes up blank.
"You can quit worrying. You don't know me," the man says with a grin. "I'm Christian Kane."
Jared just about has a heart attack. That's Jensen's first husband. "What?"
"I heard you're marrying Jensen," Christian continues as though Jared hadn't spoken. "So I wanted to give you some advice on the subject."
"Advice?" Jared repeats dumbly. "What do you mean?"
"I'm the first. Married Jensen when he was just sixteen. Man, he was a hellcat," Christian says, his grin changing to something a bit more private.
"Uh, listen, Christian. I think I know what I'm getting into here. I live with him," Jared says hesitantly.
"Do you now?" Christian leans forward. "You ever fight with him?"
"Of course," Jared snorts.
"He ever tackle you to the ground, rip your clothes off, and ride you like a pony?" Christian smirks.
Jared sputters and coughs. "Not exactly."
"I suppose he's mellowed a bit with age," Christian muses. "But Jensen has the sexual appetite of a succubus."
"Yeah, I know," Jared huffs and rolls his eyes. "What exactly is your point?"
"The problem is, he gets bored. That's why he left me. Phenomenal sex, but I let him walk all over me. I was always a sucker for a pretty face," Christian explains.
"I don't let him walk all over me," Jared protests. "I just prefer taking the high road."
"Uh-huh." Christian scrutinizes Jared closely. "Just warning you. You seem like a nice guy. Don't want you to get your heart broken."
Jared blinks. "Thanks?"
"And I want Jensen to be happy. He's spoiled but that doesn't mean he's happy. Think on that a bit."
Christian stands, shakes Jared's hand and walks out the door, not even saying goodbye. Jared shakes off the bizarre conversation and gets back to work. He really, really, really hopes that Jensen's other exes aren't planning on making an appearance.
**
Jensen gets home two days later, his eyes glazed like they get when he's tired, but he's still all over Jared, like they haven't seen each other in months instead of days. They fuck right there in the kitchen, Jensen bent over the counter and Jared sliding into him slow and sweet despite Jensen's keening protests. Jared kisses the back of Jensen's neck, nuzzles against his throat, murmuring soothing words as Jensen comes with a high cry without being touched. A few more thrusts and Jared is coming, too. He pulls out and turns Jensen to face him, kissing him soft and sweet until Jensen slumps boneless against him.
"Missed you," Jensen murmurs sleepily.
"Missed you, too." Jared kisses Jensen's temple.
"Carry me to bed?" Jensen asks, his eyes slipping shut.
"Just this once," Jared laughs softly. He scoops Jensen up in his arms and carries him upstairs and into their bedroom, gently setting him down on their bed. As soon as Jared joins him, Jensen curls up against him, his head on Jared's chest.
**
The next day, Tom comes by with his stack of binders. Jensen and Jared still haven't chosen a cake, a main course for dinner, what to put in the gift bags, if they will have a band or a DJ, and a thousand other little things. They have the flowers and the tuxedos, the location and the date, but that's about it.
"Jared should pick the cake," Jensen says from his sprawled position on the couch.
Jensen seems to prefer to sprawl out on furniture, even in chairs. It's some kind of model thing Jared figures. It certainly does make a distracting, pretty picture.
"You mean you're not going to let me feed you a piece?" Jared asks. He's sitting on the floor, his back against the couch, near Jensen's head. He tilts his head back so he can see Jensen's face and pouts.
"Maybe a little piece," Jensen acquiesces with a fond smile.
"Chocolate?" Jared asks.
"Hmm." Jensen runs his fingers through Jared's hair. "I suppose if I'm going to eat that many calories, I might as well enjoy it."
Jared tips his head back forward and grins at Tom. "Chocolate it is."
"Alright." Tom grins back, clearly finding the moment between Jared and Jensen to be beyond sweet judging by the look on his face, and flips one of the binders to a page filled with chocolate cakes.
Jared takes the binder in his lap and examines them carefully. He remembers the last time he got Jensen to eat chocolate; it had been one of those chocolate oranges Jared got every Christmas from his parents. Jensen nearly had an orgasm over it.
"Can we get something with an orange flavor? Like a liqueur?" Jared asks when he can't find anything like that on the page.
"Sure." Tom makes some notes. "I can set up a tasting in a couple of days."
"Count me out of that," Jensen says. "I have a Calvin Klein shoot next week and you know the camera adds ten pounds as it is."
"You don’t have an ounce of fat on you," Tom protests.
"Oh, but he does," Jared mock whispers. "It's on his hips."
"Jared!" Jensen nearly shrieks, clearly mortified.
"What?" Jared tilts his head back with a teasing grin. "Gives me something to hold onto."
Jensen whacks him in the face with a pillow. "You're a pervert, Jared Padalecki."
"Yeah, but you like that," Jared says fondly.
"Hmmph," Jensen huffs.
Tom clears his throat, but there's a hint of a smile on his face as he collects his binders. "Alright, I'll leave you two love birds alone for now."
They don't even notice him leaving.
**
"Okay," Jared says as he unfurls the layout of the ballroom they're having their reception in. "Seating chart time."
"Ugh," Jensen groans. "Do we have to?"
"I am not doing that by myself," Jared says immediately. "No way, no how."
"But I don't even know your family and my family will protest no matter where you seat them. And the rest of them can just live with random seating because I'm not up on who hates who and who isn't talking to who and it's just too much work," Jensen nearly whines.
Jensen's right. Jared has never introduced Jensen to his family. It's not that he's ashamed or anything, it's just that his family is in Texas and Jared himself doesn't see them much. In fact, he hasn't been down there since he started working for Jensen. He had to announce his engagement over the phone because both he and Jensen couldn't get away.
"Do you want to meet them?" Jared asks.
"Of course I do, but you've never offered," Jensen says softly.
Jared turns around and kneels next to Jensen. "I just… You're always so busy. I'm always so busy. I hardly ever see them myself."
"We could fly down there this weekend," Jensen says. "Meet with them before I have to go on that photo shoot."
"Yeah?" Jared asks, tilting his head.
Jensen kisses him softly. "I'll call Alona right now."
"Okay," Jared says, surprised. "I'll call my parents. I'm sure they'll be thrilled."
**
As it turns out, Jared's parents are not exactly thrilled.
"This is so last minute," Jared's mom frets. "The house is a mess and your grandmother is having one of her spells."
"Mom, Jensen isn't going to care about any of that. He just wants to meet you," Jared softly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. He just wants to meet his future in-laws."
"So the wedding is still on then, huh?" Jared's mom laughs. "Did my method work?"
"Bye, Mom," Jared sighs and then hangs up. Maybe this whole visit isn't such a great idea after all. He can just imagine his mother and Jensen getting on like a house on fire, teasing the shit out of Jared for the entire weekend.
**
Texas is devoid of paparazzi. Whether it's because he and Jensen left so last minute or just that no one cares about Jensen visiting the Lone Star state, Jared doesn't know and doesn't care. It's nice to be able to walk around without getting blinded by flash bulbs and people shouting Jensen's name.
Jensen though, Jensen seems to be less than thrilled with the weather, the people, the rental car, and just about anything else he can think to bitch about. Jared just sighs and tries to ignore him. He figures all the bitching has more to do with Jensen being nervous than anything else.
"I haven't been back here since I got my inheritance," Jensen says when they're halfway to Jared's parents' house.
"No?" Jared asks in the hope Jensen will elaborate.
"My family wasn't overly thrilled that I married a man. No heir, you see," Jensen sighs, pressing his temple against the window. "I mean, there's my brother and he has a kid, but my grandfather specified me as heir to the Ackles Empire. Which I could care less about. There's a CEO and a board of directors that run the oil company and everything else. Every once in a while we all gather in New York City so I can sign some papers, but as long as we're not losing money, what do I even care?"
"I took my money and ran and the rest of my family has never really forgiven me," Jensen continues after a brief pause. "Never mind that I've made a disgrace of them with so many marriages and divorces. And my career choices."
"So, will they even come to the wedding?" Jared asks.
"Of course. There's appearances to keep up," Jensen laughs bitterly.
"I'm sorry it's like that," Jared says quietly as he reaches out and rests his hand on Jensen's thigh.
"Yeah, me too," Jensen sighs.
**
The weekend in Texas has its awkward moments, like when Jared's mom nearly walks in on Jensen giving Jared a blow job or when Jared's sister pulls out the baby pictures, but otherwise it goes well. Jensen charms the hell out of everyone, even Jared's dad, who was never quite comfortable with the whole gay thing even though he's tried so hard to hide it.
Jensen even eats his mom's cooking, shoveling in cornbread and brisket like a starving man. Which, considering Jensen normally lives on a diet of vegetables, he probably really is. He even eats Jared's grandmother's biscuits, which are nothing but lard and flour. Even Jared doesn't eat those.
"You're going to ruin your figure," Jared teases, coming up behind Jensen and resting his hands on his hips as Jensen is piling his plate with more potato salad.
"Mmm, thought you liked me with extra padding," Jensen says huskily, pushing his ass back into Jared's groin.
"Don't start what you can't finish," Jared whispers in Jensen ear, nipping it lightly before pulling away.
"Tease," Jensen calls after him.
Jared grins, feeling happy and carefree, away from the pressures of Jensen's crazy normal life and all the wedding plans. It's good to have a break, he thinks.
**
Upon their return home, Jensen immediately goes on a crazy diet of lettuce and water, which he insists Jared joins him on. Jared did this diet once before and it made him want to curl up in a ball and die, but he humors Jensen anyway. Well, at least when they're eating meals together.
"Oh, god," Jared moans around his cheeseburger when he meets up with his friends for lunch.
"Dude, your food orgasms are really, really disturbing," Chad says, wrinkling his nose.
"Jensen has me on that lettuce diet again," Jared bemoans.
"Sucks to be you," Sandy laughs, stealing a French fry.
"Why exactly do you have to go on a diet? You're ripped as shit," Mike asks.
"Went home to Texas over the weekend. Jensen says my mom's cooking made me fat," Jared mumbles.
"Dude, you have the metabolism of a humming bird. I doubt you gained an ounce," Tom scoffs.
"Yeah, well." Jared shrugs. "It makes Jensen happy when I follow his crazy rules."
Mike makes a whip cracking sound. "Whipped. So are so whipped."
"Hey, we all know that Jensen's hot body is Jared's kryptonite, okay?" Sandy points out.
"Okay, enough of the saga of Jared's love life," Chad interrupts. "Let's talk about my love life."
"What love life?" they all chorus.
"Bitches," Chad grumbles. "I'm so dating this hot nurse."
"Name, dates, places or it didn't happen," Mike says.
"Sophia, last week, met her at the shop. She's a bridesmaid for that one wedding, the one with the chick who insists on a lace dress even though she looks like she's ninety in it?" Chad explains.
"Oh, her?" Tom says. "She's cute."
"Yeah," Chad smiles. "Think I should invite her to your wedding, Jared?"
"Sure, why not?" Jared shrugs, smiling back, happy for his friend.
**
There are over a thousand people on Jensen's list as guests for the wedding. There are fifty people on Jared's. Jared stares at the list and blinks a couple of times. No way is he going to have approximately nine hundred and fifty strangers at his wedding, considering that Jensen is probably only close to about the same number as Jared's entire list and the rest are there at the suggestion of someone else.
"You're inviting Misha Collins to our wedding?" Jared gapes as he skims down the list. "Why the hell would you do that?"
"I told you," Jensen says without looking up from his sketchpad, where he's working on the latest designs for his fashion line. "We have an arrangement."
"Yeah, okay. But Carson Daly? Do you even know him?" Jared continues.
"My publicist put him on there," Jensen says.
"Well, I'm taking him off." Jared uncaps a pen with his teeth and strikes a line through his name.
"Whatever."
"Christian Kane. Seriously? You're inviting ex-husbands to our wedding?" Jared scoffs.
"Yes, all of them. Except Jeffrey Dean, of course," Jensen smirks at his latest ex-husband's name.
"Jensen, did you ever stop to consider that I don't want them there? I mean, would you want my exes at the wedding?" Jared asks, exasperated at Jensen's attitude.
"Well, if you're still friends with them, why not?" Jensen asks, still not looking up from his drawings.
"You're not friends with any of them. You forget, I know you," Jared says with emphasis. "I'm crossing them all off."
"You don't have to be jealous," Jensen mutters.
"I'm not jealous!" Jared cries out. "I just don't want all these guys you've slept with at our wedding."
"You're going to narrow my guest list by half then," Jensen says nonchalantly. He's obviously just saying it to dig at Jared, not because it's actually true. Well, at least Jared hopes it isn't really true.
Jared takes a couple of deep, calming breaths. "Why can't you understand how I feel about this?"
"Because I don't have the same hang-ups as you," Jensen says, finally looking up. "I like sex. Men like to have sex with me. It doesn't have to mean anything."
"You're so incredibly frustrating," Jared snarls, throwing the binder with the list in it down on the coffee table.
He gets up from the couch and stalks away, slamming the back door behind himself.
**
Jared knows he shouldn't be jealous of all the exes. Jensen is his now, after all, but he can't help it. He's slept with maybe five people in his entire life and Jensen's conquests could easily fill an entire book. Sometimes Jared wonders if Jensen gets bored having sex with the same man, with Jared, over and over again. He thinks of what Christian Kane told him and it makes him nervous.
Jensen could have anyone, but he chose Jared. Why? What's so special about Jared? He's not rich or famous or beautiful. He's a regular guy from a regular family who had a completely ordinary life until Jensen walked into Jeffrey Dean's office one morning and turned his life upside down.
He's insecure, is what it is, and Jared knows that but it doesn't stop him from feeling the way he does. Jensen is just so out of his league. Jared keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Jensen to meet someone else and call off the wedding. For Jensen to be married to him and then find someone better, making it his sixth divorce. For Jensen to come to his senses and realize that Jared is just an ordinary guy.
**
"I'm going to Milan tomorrow," Jensen says from the doorway of one of the guest rooms, where Jared has been hiding out since his little blow up.
"I know," Jared mutters, not bothering to move out of the bed or even really look at Jensen.
"I don't want to leave things like this," Jensen says softly.
"So don't go," Jared pouts.
"Jared, please." Jensen steps further into the room.
"Just go."
"Jared…" Jensen pleads, anguish clear in his voice.
"It's fine, Jensen," Jared says tonelessly.
Jensen doesn't respond. When Jared finally lifts his head from the pillow, he's gone.
**
"Jared! Jared!"
Jared turns his head and gets blinded by flash bulbs. Usually he's pretty much left alone when he's out on his own. Maybe a couple of paparazzi and that's it. Today there's a virtual mob hounding him as he attempts to get into his office.
"Jared, why aren't you in Milan with Jensen?"
"Jared, how's the wedding coming?"
"Jared, are you and Jensen still planning on getting married?"
"Jared, how do you feel about Jensen doing the latest Calvin Klein spread with his ex-husband, Wentworth Miller?"
"What?" Jared can't help but ask. He didn't know and it clearly shows on his face, because the paparazzi swarm like hungry sharks at that.
"Jared, Jensen didn't tell you?"
"Jared, how does that make you feel?"
"Jared, is the wedding still on?"
The questions make Jared dizzy. He pushes the cameras out of the way and shoves his way into the office building, nearly diving for the elevator. Ignoring the staff's calls, asking him what's wrong, Jared runs into his office and dials Jensen's cell phone. It rings and rings, and there's no answer.
"This is Jensen Ackles' phone. Please leave a message," Alona's cool voice states.
"Jensen…" Jared barks out then pauses, taking a deep breath. "You need to call me back."
He hangs up and then slumps down in his office chair. Like a masochist, he opens his laptop and goes to Misha Collins' website. Of course there's a webcast already up about the whole thing; Jensen probably told Misha himself.
Hey Minions! You'll never guess who hottie with a body, Jensen Ackles, is coveting with now. Wentworth Miller. That's right, our favorite diva was caught canoodling with husband number three. Here's a picture of the model giving the billionaire a kiss to die for. Oh what I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall! And what does future husband number six have to say about all this? Well, a little birdie told me that he was shocked to hear it. With one month until the big I Dos, is the wedding still on? My sources say yes, but Mr. Publicity, I'd watch my back if I were you.
Jared growls, but still immediately goes to the gallery section of the website where indeed there are several pictures of Jensen and Wentworth kissing. Holding hands. Sharing a cup of gelato. Laughing as they're coming out of a shop. Jensen sure did move fast on that one. And Jared feels like a total idiot as he stares at the last picture.
Jensen is giving Wentworth this adoring look, like he hung the moon. Jared is fairly sure Jensen has never looked at him like that.
**
Jensen doesn't call back. Not an hour later, not twelve hours later. Calls to Alona yield nothing other than the woman's heavy sighs and undoubtedly heavy eye rolling. She claims that Jensen is just doing his job, but last time Jared checked, fucking Wentworth Miller wasn't part of the job description.
Jared normally isn't one for temper tantrums or displays of jealously. That's Jensen's department, but Jared is devastated and upset, more upset than he's ever been with Jensen. So he goes out every night, getting plastered and flirting with every guy who so much as looks at him.
Katie and Lauren take him out for karaoke and Jared drinks the rainbow, twice. Then he gets up on stage and does a very passionate rendition of Ce Lo Green's "Fuck You", thinking of Jensen and Wentworth the entire time.
After that, he does another round of shots, he thinks. It gets fuzzy after that.
**
Parts V-VIII
Hey, Minions! You didn't hear this from me, but a little birdie told me that Jensen Ackles, our favorite male diva, never a bridesmaid, always a bride, is getting married. Again! This will be the sixth time for Ackles and the first time for his loverboy, Jared Padalecki. Jared Pada-who, you ask? Well, here's the scoop: he's Ackles' former personal assistant and current hot shot publicist for Cohen-Cassidy. Apparently very personal since wedding bells are in the air. Will the sixth time be the charm for Ackles or will it just be his sixth trip to a lawyer to divide the assets? Only time will tell. I just hope that this time there's a pre-nup. The last divorce was brutal. Speaking of brutal…
Jared closes the lid on his laptop with a sigh, abruptly ending Misha Collins webcast. Apparently Jared is the only person on the planet who thinks his marriage to Jensen will last longer than the average life of a fruit fly. Even Jensen seems be brushing the whole thing off; every time Jared asks about the wedding, he directs Jared to Alona Tal, his new assistant. But Jared doesn't want to plan the wedding with an assistant, he wants to plan it with his future husband.
"Jared? Jared? Earth to Jared."
Turning his chair toward the door, Jared finds Katie leaning against the doorframe with a smirk on her face. Peeking over her shoulder is Lauren who's wearing a similar expression.
"What?" Jared huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Two words," Katie says while Lauren holds up two fingers. "Tequila. Thursday."
"Oh hell no," Jared responds immediately. "The last time you dragged me there I threw up for a week."
"But it's also karoke night!" Lauren chimes in.
"You know you can't resist karoke," Katie adds with a grin. "It's your kryptonite."
"I thought that was Jensen's ass," Lauren mutters just loud enough for Jared to hear.
"Hey!" Jared protests even though it's completely and utterly true.
"C'mon," Katie pleads. "If you don't come with us, that skeezy bartender will hit on Lauren and she'll break his nose again and I really don't enjoy doing publicity work for my own girlfriend."
"As if," Lauren huffs. "I can take care of myself."
Jared waves his hands, hoping to stave off an argument between the two women. "Okay, fine. But you're buying."
**
As always, karaoke night is a complete madhouse. It takes Jared ten minutes just to fight his way to the sign-up sheet and when he finally gets there, he puts himself and the girls down for "Respect" even though they'll have to wait a half-hour, at least, before they get up there. For all his protesting, Jared doesn't really mind. He has to find something to fill his time with considering that Jensen is usually too busy with his career to spend quality time with Jared that isn't in bed. So Jared does karaoke night with the girls and he takes pottery classes with Sandy. He volunteers at the animal shelter, and plays two-on-two with Chad, Mike, and Tom. And has a French and an Italian tutor so on the rare occasions when he flies with Jensen on photo shoots, he can wander around on his own and not get lost.
"Hey," Katie shouts in his ear. "We got a table, c'mon."
Jared dutifully follows her to the back where Lauren is guarding the table with the power of her glare alone. But when she sees Katie, her face lights up, like they haven't seen each other in days instead of just minutes. The girls are like oil and water, but somehow they make it work. Lauren adores Katie and Katie obviously feels the same. It's there in every touch, every look, even when they're just talking about each other. Jared can't help but wonder what his relationship looks like to outsiders; does Jensen ever look at him with awe in his eyes when he thinks no one is looking?
"Alright! Shots!" Katie crows as a waiter sets the glasses on the table.
The shots are a rainbow of colors and Jared can easily envision just what his puke will look like the next day. So he should really beg off, but instead he pounds the row of shots back, Skittles and vodka mixing and exploding on his tongue.
"Whoo!" Lauren exhales after taking the last shot. "Now we're talking."
Katie starts telling a story about one of their clients, but it's hard to hear her over the caterwauling of some of the karaoke singers. Lauren jumps in on occasion, but she and Jared both know that Katie is a chatty drunk, and they let her carry on. Jared takes a few more shots in preparation for going on stage, something he's never overly thrilled about doing. He's not one for attention like that, but he can admit it's fun.
Soon their names are called and Lauren drags him up onto the stage, placing him front and center with the microphone, her and Katie playing back-up. The words bounce on the screen, hard to read sober, much less drunk, but Jared knows this song well enough and he fakes what he doesn't. It's easy to get into it anyway. He could use some R-E-S-P-E-C-T from Jensen anyway. And as he thinks about it, he gets more and more into the song, dancing on the stage and shouting as though Jensen is sitting out in the audience.
He barely notices when the song ends, only getting off the stage because Lauren drags him; they girl is stronger than she looks. The girls haul him outside and pour him into a cab, telling him to be safe and cheer up and stop being such a downer, but they're giggling through every word, so Jared finds it hard to take them seriously.
**
Jared stumbles up the stairs of the house and into the bedroom. He's surprised to see Jensen there, fast asleep. Jensen is supposed to be someplace else, Jared is sure. Although now that he doesn't keep Jensen's schedule, sometimes Jared gets things confused.
"Jensen," Jared whispers. "You awake?"
"I am now," Jensen groans. "You make more noise than a herd of elephants when you're drunk."
"I'm not that drunk," Jared protests.
"Mmm hmm," Jensen murmurs, clearly not believing it.
Jared climbs into bed and leans half over Jensen, nuzzling at his neck. "I can show you just how not drunk I am."
"Oh?" Jensen finally opens his eyes. "That so?"
Jensen is naked under the covers and Jared is still wearing the clothes he put on twelve hours ago to go to the office and Jared thinks that's kind of sexy. He likes how uninhibited Jensen can be in just about everything he does.
"You're always so hot," Jared says against Jensen's skin. "Always want you so much."
"You have me," Jensen whispers. "You have me."
**
They've been engaged for nearly a month, but they've done absolutely nothing as far as the wedding goes other than hire a wedding planner. It's not like Jared wants to rush to the altar, but Jensen's complete lack of interest in moving things along is a bit disconcerting. But every time Jared brings it up, Jensen always says something like, "But I've been married so many times. Why rush?" or "I've already planned five weddings, I don't need to plan this one," or "We have plenty of time, Jared, don't worry."
None of those reasons make Jared stop worrying. Not even a little bit.
**
"It's like he doesn't really want to get married," Jared complains to Chad. "Like he proposed just because he didn't know what to get me for Christmas."
"You didn't know what to get him either," Chad reminds him. "But I didn't see you proposing."
"I just don't want this to be yet another wedding, yet another marriage for him," Jared sighs.
"I don't know what to tell you, man." Chad shrugs. "I don't know the guy like you do, but it seems like he's into it. Like it's not just another wedding for him."
"Really?" Jared asks.
"Yeah, really." Chad nudges Jared with his shoulder. "Now quit being so maudlin and buy me a beer."
Jared flips Chad off, but he goes up to the bar anyway, figuring he owes Chad something for having been his sounding board regarding Jensen for months.
**
Alona Tal is not the friendliest person on the planet. Not even months of dealing with her nearly every day has warmed her up where Jared is concerned. She's always in professional mode, which works well when it comes to Jensen, but just makes Jared feel like he's a burden interrupting her day. If she didn't possess Jensen's infamous black book, Jared would probably never speak to the woman.
"Jensen Ackles' office. How may I direct your call?"
"Hey, Alona. It's Jared."
Jared can practically hear her rolling her eyes. "Yes, Jared. What can I do for you?"
"Is Jensen available right now?"
"No. He's at a photo shoot for Calvin Klein and then he's got an interview with Men's Health. I can pencil you in for 8 tonight for about fifteen minutes, before his manicurist comes."
"Just… never mind," Jared mutters and then hangs up.
Sighing heavily, Jared shoves his cell phone in his pocket and then enters Mel's, a dive bar with the best hamburgers on the planet, to meet his friends. At least he doesn't have to call two months in advance to make an appointment to see them.
"Yo, Jared," Chad waves him over to a table in the back corner. He's sitting with Tom, Mike, Sandy, and Sandy's boyfriend, Aldis.
After Morgan fled the country, his friends weren't sure if they would be able to keep their jobs, but the firm that bought the company kept them on. They stayed for a while, but then Sandy quit to go back to school, Mike got a better offer at a rival company, and Chad and Tom opened a consulting company. Or at least that's what Chad calls it. If you ask Tom, they're wedding planners. But Jared lets Chad keep the illusion that his man card hasn't been taken away yet. Who knew the guy was so handy with a sewing machine, anyway?
Jared slides into the empty seat across from Mike and nods his hellos at the group. Chad slides him a beer and Jared takes a big gulp before setting it back down.
"That bad, huh?" Sandy asks, her eyes sympathetic.
"Is it too much to ask for my fiancé to actually show interest in our wedding?" Jared bemoans.
"I'm guessing you couldn't get ahold of him to go over any of the details? Not even setting the date?" Tom asks with a frown.
"Puh-lease," Chad snorts. "Jared has to be penciled in with that ice queen assistant of his to get a blow job."
"Don't exaggerate, Chad," Sandy admonishes.
"He's not exaggerating," Jared mutters before gulping down the rest of his beer.
"Dude's got a fine ass, but hitting it can't be that worth it," Mike says.
"You guys just don’t know him like I do," Jared says as he picks at the label on the bottle. "He's…"
Jared trails off. What exactly is there to say about Jensen? It's not like he's a different person around Jared or something. He's just as much of a diva if not more so. But that's part of the attraction. Jared can admit that he's addicted to the drama of it all, that he likes their banter and petty fights and the make-up sex. The make-up sex is beyond phenomenal. They've broken the bed a couple of times during it. But there is a softer side to Jensen, a vulnerable side that Jared loves and feels very protective over. That's the side that no one sees, but it's also the side Jared doesn't want anyone to see.
"He's just… Jensen. I can't explain it," Jared finishes with a shrug. He turns to Aldis, hoping to change the subject. "So, how's the construction business?"
Thankfully, Aldis launches into a story about a building inspector and a foot-long sandwich, dragging the group's attention off Jared and his love life. Jared half-listens in, half-wonders what Jensen is doing right now. Probably prancing around in his underwear, flirting with the other models, and not thinking about Jared at all.
**
"So, I was thinking a very pale shade of green or a navy blue for the tuxedos, depending on what location and date you choose for the wedding. I know what you're thinking, pale green tuxedos? But they would be linen, summer weight. With linen shirts, I think. Unbuttoned, no ties. And sandals or bare feet. I always thought weddings on the beach were so romantic. But if you're looking for something more traditional, I still think you should stay away from black. Too funeral-y prom night. Oh! If you do a winter wedding we could do navy blue pea coats. Or we could go very untraditional. I've seen some couples do kimonos, leather, even bath robes. Both of you could get away with wearing just about anything. Even going nude. Although you might want to make it a smaller wedding if you're going to go nude. There was this wedding we planned a couple of months ago and they invited half the world to it, but it was a nude wedding. I think the guests were traumatized. It's not like the bride or the groom had a figure like yours. Or Jensen's. Oh, and speaking of trauma, I highly recommend that if you're doing an outdoor wedding that you provide sunscreen or some kind of shade. You don't want a hundred sun burned people remembering nothing but that about the whole ceremony. And I'm sure Jensen freckles easily with his fair skin. But if you do an indoor wedding, they're never as picturesque. Even the nicest ball rooms look like concrete bunkers in these photos. Unless you go with something historical. But then you have to worry about what's allowed and what's not. I tell you, those historical buildings have so many rules. What's wrong with a few candles? It's not like I planned to burn the place down. That would ruin the wedding."
Tom keeps going on and on about fabrics and locations and dates, but Jared isn't really listening. He's texting Jensen on his cell under the table, getting more and more pissed off with every message.
Jared: are you at least going to help me pick a wedding date?
Jensen: I don't know when I'm free. Ask AT.
Jared: I don't want to ask AT. She isn't my fiancée!
Jensen: darling, you know that I don't know my own schedule.
Jared: so you ask her and get back to me.
Jensen: what's the difference?
"Motherfucker," Jared swears aloud, forgetting about Tom.
"Excuse me?" Tom huffs. "There's no need to be so rude. I can order lilies if you're that hung up about them."
"What?" Jared asks, tossing his cell phone on the desk. "No, sorry, Tom. I wasn't yelling at you."
"Ugh, quit sexting Jensen and pay attention," Tom admonishes. "Picking your flowers is the most important part. It sets the tone of the wedding."
"We weren't sexting," Jared mutters.
"Anyway," Tom says with emphasis, clearly not believing Jared. "I don't think you should do lilies if it's a winter wedding. Maybe roses. Roses aren't so passé in winter."
Jared closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Maybe there isn't going to be a wedding."
"What?!" Tom yelps.
"Well, if Jensen having no interest whatsoever in planning this wedding is any indication of how this marriage is going to go then maybe I don't want to marry him," Jared says all in a rush.
"Oh sweetie." Tom pats his hand. "You don't mean that. He's always been like this and you never had a problem with it before."
Jared stands up and runs a hand through his hair. "No. But this is different. This isn't him missing my birthday because he had a photo shoot in Milan or forgetting that he promised to come to my nephew's recital or forgetting his aunt's coming to visit while he's doing some crazy Japanese commercial so I'm forced into entertaining the women when she hates me or giving me a blow job instead of actually saying 'I'm sorry' for any of the hundreds of other shitty things he's done. This is our wedding. It's supposed to be special. But it isn't to him because I'm just husband number six."
"Sixth and last," Tom promises.
"We'll see." Jared sits back down, nearly collapsing into the chair. "Anyway, if he's not going to get involved then I'm picking the wedding date. I want a fall wedding. September, maybe."
"That's the spirit!" Tom beams.
He pulls out a stack of binders on fall weddings and Jared sifts through them while Tom keeps babbling on about color schemes. There are so many things to consider from invitations to cakes to the smallest things like place cards. It's completely overwhelming and Jared is supposed to somehow do it all alone.
**
When Jared gets home, arms laden with "homework" from Tom, Jensen is standing in the foyer, yelling at one of the maids about a speck of dust on one of the annoying little display tables that line the hallway. Jared has knocked the damn things over dozens of times and the lacquer on them attracts dust like a magnet. It's not like they even have anything on them. They just stand there and look artful, each one deigned as a different piece of fruit. Jensen doesn't even like fruit.
Walking up to the one Jensen is complaining about, Jared dumps the stack of binders on it. Jensen glares at him while the maid scurries off, throwing Jared a thankful look over her shoulder. Someday Jensen is going to have to address his OCD like a rational human being, but Jared has enough trouble getting Jensen to eat calories, much less dive into his fear of dust.
"That was entirely unnecessary," Jensen huffs.
"It was completely necessary. These tables are hideous," Jared retorts.
Jensen pouts for a second and then launches himself into Jared's arms, kissing him soundly. This is what makes all of Jensen's craziness worth it. He's absolutely adorable and completely free with affection when it's just him and Jared.
"I missed you," Jensen says when they break apart, keeping his arms looped around Jared's neck. "Where have you been?"
"You know where I've been," Jared sighs in exasperation.
"Oh, Jared. You know I'm horrible with remembering things like that," Jensen pouts.
"I was planning our wedding. With Tom," Jared says with emphasis, trying valiantly to hold his temper in check.
"You're good at that," Jensen says.
Jared frowns. "Good at what?"
"Planning," Jensen answers with a soft smile. "Keeping me in check."
"Yeah, well, you've got Alona to do that for you now," Jared huffs, not wanting to give in and give up his bad mood.
"She may keep my schedule, but you're my compass." Jensen nuzzles Jared's neck. "I promise I'll be at the next appointment." He looks up, eyes wide and glimmering. "Forgive me?"
It's not like Jared didn't know he was wrapped around Jensen's little finger, but it hits him like a punch to the gut right then. He'd let Jensen get away with murder. He really would. Not only would he let Jensen get away with it, but he'd probably clean up the mess and bury the body.
"Yeah, I forgive you," Jared mutters.
Jensen presses a soft kiss behind Jared's ear. "I was thinking September for the wedding."
Jared smiles despite himself. At least they're still in the same book, if not the same page when it comes to the wedding. "Yeah, me too."
**
For a few days, things are easier. Jensen dutifully attends a planning session with Tom where they finally set the actual date, September 19th, and place, Paris, of course. But when it comes to anything more in-depth like colors, flowers, cakes, or even who to invite, Jensen is completely useless and uninterested. Jared tries not to take it personally as Jensen tends to flit from subject to subject like a butterfly on ecstasy, but it's hard considering Jared thinks this slightly more important than what fabric Jensen will use in his Spring fashion line or who he wants to collaborate with on his next record or what movie he might star in or if the yoga he's doing is actually burning fat cells or not.
"Maybe I should just kidnap him. Take him to Paris and we can elope," Jared says over the phone to his mother while he flips through one of the travel guides Tom sent him home with to study.
"And deny me the right to see my son get married? I don't think so, mister."
"But what's the point of me planning all of this myself? It's like getting married to… myself!" Jared protests. "And you haven't even met him because I can't even get him to do that. I can't get him to do anything. It's like he's immune to all persuasion. To every word that comes out of my mouth."
"Jared, my darling son, I'm sure you can think of a way to be a bit more persuasive."
Jared blinks at her lascivious tone. "Mom!"
"What? There's nothing wrong with it."
"I'm hanging up now, seriously. Before I'm scarred for life," Jared says.
His mother laughs heartily. "Goodbye, dear."
Maybe his mother does have a point though. Jensen certainly uses sex as a bargaining tool often enough. Maybe it's time Jared does the same.
**
Even attempting to withhold sex from Jensen proves to be extremely difficult because Jensen is basically sex personified. He walks around their bedroom in these tiny pairs of briefs that are somehow worse than if he wandered around completely naked and even fully clothed, Jared has never been able to keep his eyes off his ass, the subtle sway of his hips from his bow legs, or the smooth, tapered line of his back. Jared tries to think about death and bugs and the time he saw his mother in a thong on accident, but Jensen seems to just blast every thought out of his head like magic, every time. He's like a magnet that erases everything off Jared's hard drive except the need for sex.
"Nargh," Jared moans when Jensen bends over to get something out of one of the drawers in their walk-in closet.
Jensen shakes his ass a bit. "Like what you see?"
"You know I do," Jared murmurs. Stepping forward, he palms the back of one of Jensen's thighs.
"Yeah," Jensen says, all breathy. "Want you."
Jared starts to slide his hand up higher, and then stops, mentally shaking himself. "First you help me pick the theme of the wedding."
Jensen turns around and hooks his thigh around Jared's waist, pulling Jared closer while running a finger down his chest. "That so?"
"Yeah," Jared manages to choke out. "That's so."
With a sigh, Jensen steps away and walks to another part of the closet. "You forget that I've already had a wedding. Several of them in fact."
"I don't care about the other weddings," Jared nearly growls in frustration. "This is our wedding. Ours. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this."
"What I'm trying to say is that this is your first wedding and I want you to choose," Jensen says, his voice muffled by the rack of clothes he's currently digging through.
"My only wedding, I hope," Jared responds softly.
Jensen comes out from behind the rack of clothes and smiles brightly. "I hope so, too. And that's why I want it to be special for you."
"It will be special for me. But I want it to be special for both of us," Jared pleads.
"Okay." Jensen steps up and kisses him. "Okay, I'll help."
"It means a lot to me," Jared says sincerely.
"I know," Jensen smiles. "I know."
**
After that, the wedding planning goes a bit smoother at least in the sense that Jensen is involved. Jared should've remembered Jensen's exacting standards for everything under the sun from dusting to fabrics to food to cleaning supplies. If Jared thought Jensen was obsessive about the proper method for cleaning the oven, it's nothing compared to him sitting in the living room surrounded by every flower known to man looking for the perfect one for the centerpieces at the reception.
"Carnations are so cheap, but you can dye them different colors, so we can customize. But you can't deny the exotic look of an orchid or ibis. Except the, ahem, feminine vision the planet gives. Then there are lilies, but they always make me think of funerals. Roses are too passé, let's not even think about those. Tulips, maybe. They would be out of season, but it's not like money is an object. Daises look too innocent and we both know that neither of us are that. We could go with something bold like sunflowers. Or there's native wild flowers…"
Jared tunes out around that time and just watches Jensen throw flowers across the room as he rejects them. It's like watching a very violent version of 'he loves me, he loves me not'. He really feels bad for the maids who will not only have to clean this mess up, but also get yelled at for not doing it right. At least Jensen pays them well.
"Blue bonnets," Jared finally jumps in.
"What?" Jensen pauses in the midst of ripping apart a bunch of daises.
"Well, we're both originally from Texas," Jared reasons. "It's the state flower and my grandma always had them in her backyard."
Jensen tosses the daises behind him and tackles Jared to the floor. He's grinning like a loon as he stares down into Jared's eyes. "Perfect. You're perfect."
He kisses Jared then, and Jared lets him, his hands moving up and down Jensen's back in soft circles. These are the times that Jared thinks about the most when it comes to Jensen; how sweet he can be sometimes, how shy and almost innocent in his own way.
"I can't wait to marry you," Jared whispers against Jensen's lips.
"Yeah?" Jensen smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling like they do when he's really happy.
Jared rolls Jensen under him, cupping his head to protect him from the wooden floor. He smiles down at his fiancé, cataloguing the look of pure adoration on his face, saving it for the next time Jensen drives him up the wall. "Of course."
**
"Going to the chapel and we're going to get married. Going to the chapel o' love…"
Jared winces at Chad's caterwauling, but tries not to move considering that Chad is working on the hem of his pants and every break in his concentration causes Jared to get pin pricked. If Tom's rambling about themes wasn't bad enough, there's this to add onto the torture, and Jared begins to wonder why he hired them to do his and Jensen's wedding.
"Quit torturing my boyfriend," Jensen admonishes from the chaise he's lounging on.
As always, he looks like something out of a catalogue. Or porn. Draped over the furniture like it was made specifically for his body. His hand tucked up under his cheek like he's about to fall asleep, lips parted in a soft smile. Jensen is absolutely gorgeous and Jared just wants to drape himself on top of Jensen, kiss him senseless.
"Dude," Chad yelps. "You are not seriously getting a boner right now."
Blushing fiercely, Jared thinks about dead people again until he's got himself a bit more under control. "No, I'm totally not."
"You totally were, dear," Jensen sing songs.
"Keep it up and there'll be no sex tonight, honey," Jared sing songs back.
"So you say," Jensen smirks.
"Don't act so cocky," Jared warns playfully.
"Ugh, stop flirting. You're disgusting," Chad bemoans.
"You're just jealous that you're always a bridesmaid, never a bride," Jared laughs.
"Fuck you, man," Chad snorts. "Ain't nothing wrong with that."
"Are you done yet?" Jensen asks through a yawn.
"Keep your pants on," Chad mutters.
Jensen turns slightly so he's lying on his back and pulls out his phone. "Alona just texted me to tell me I'm late for an interview or something."
"The GQ one?" Jared asks.
"Yup." Jensen puts his phone away. "I'm sure they'll find someone else to put on next month's cover."
"You don't have to-"
Jensen tilts his head to meet Jared's eyes. "Yeah, I do. I'm staying."
Jared smiles at him. "Thanks."
Chad makes a choking noise. "Ugh, seriously. I'm going to puke." And Jared and Jensen just laugh.
**
It's nice to have Jensen home more often and strange that when Jared actually worked for Jensen, he felt that Jensen wasn't doing any work, but now it seems like that's all he does. Jensen keeps telling Jared that the amount of work is equivalent to which project is at what stage, and Jared did only work for him for a few months, but it's still odd to go from having to make an appointment to see his fiancé to having him around most of the time.
"So, I think we should do something non-wedding-related today," Jensen says as he cuts his banana into precise quarter-inch slices.
"Yeah, what do you have in mind?" Jared asks between sips of orange juice.
"Maybe we could go shopping," Jensen suggests.
Jared inwardly groans at the suggestion. On the one hand, shopping gets Jensen ridiculously horny. On the other hand, it's an activity that can easily drag on for hours, leaving Jared to cover his raging hard-on with an ever increasing number of shopping bags. The last time they went, Jared swore he was about ready to shove Jensen to the ground in the middle of the store and fuck him senseless, onlookers be damned.
"Yeah?" Jared asks cautiously and noncommittally.
"Like, down at the farmer's market," Jensen elaborates.
"Is that a new boutique?" Jared asks, confused.
Jensen throws him a look like Jared's an idiot. "No, it's where you buy fruits and vegetables."
"Right," Jared says slowly. "And you want to go there. Where there's dirt."
"I'm not afraid of dirt," Jensen huffs.
"Right," Jared repeats, this time even slower.
"Just get dressed," Jensen demands before throwing a slice of banana at Jared's face. "Before I leave without you."
**
Going out in public with Jensen usually turns into an event, which is why Jared never just throws on a pair of sweats to run errands anymore because even he is now subject to the paparazzi that normally follows Jensen around like a cloud. Even going someplace like the farmer's market Jensen dresses like he's going to a fashion show, so Jared feels obligated to do the same. It's stressful to have to always be on instead of just being himself.
So he spends twenty minutes going through his very small section of their walk in closet. He wants to wear jeans, but which designer? Are the dark washed ones still in fashion? Should he wear the wide leg ones or the skinny jeans? Is he going to look like a bodyguard instead of a boyfriend if he wears a plain t-shirt? If he wears something with a design on it, will it be too bold or too subtle?
In the end, he wears his favorite pair of jeans, the ones that cling to his ass and thighs in all the right places, and then tries on five different shirts before he settles on a plain, white linen button down that's nearly see through. Then there's the shoes: what even goes with this outfit? Not gym shoes, that's for sure. But Jared isn't trampling through a farmer's market in dress shoes either. With a shake of his head, he puts on brown sandals and figures at least he'll be comfortable.
**
There are only two paparazzi following them around the farmer's market and they're pretty discreet. Jared tries not to notice them, tries to just follow Jensen around as he flits from stall to stall. Jensen, of course, is wearing clothes from his own label and he looks phenomenal in them as always. Jared can't resist leaning in close to him as Jensen examines a selection of French pastries that he'll never eat.
"Why do you torture yourself?" Jared asks with a shake of his head. "You know you'll never eat any of them."
"But you will," Jensen answers with a soft smile. He turns to the stall vendor and speaks in rapid French. Something about croissants, chocolate, and many mentions of a petit something or other, which causes the stall vendor to wink at Jared a couple of times. After a few minutes, the man hands Jensen a paper sack with broad grin for both of them.
"What was that all about?" Jared asks as he slips his arm around Jensen's waist to guide him to the next stall.
"Just bragging about my hot boyfriend," Jensen teases. He turns his head and kisses Jared's cheek before slipping away, down another aisle.
Jared follows after him, a blush staining his cheeks. He really hopes the paparazzi aren't taking pictures of him right that second. They have more than enough evidence that Jared is a total sucker for Jensen.
**
Two days later, Jensen is on a plane to Russia where he'll be starring in an ad for some vodka. Jensen gets a lot of these gigs in foreign countries now. He's been the face of luxury cars in Japan, beer in Germany, a line of shoes in Italy, some kind of toy in Australia, a sun tan lotion in Brazil, and now this. Jared hardly ever travels with him on these ventures. The one time he did go, for an ad about cheese in Spain, Jared was bored out of his mind. It's not like Jensen does anything fun. He just stands there and looks pretty, maybe says a few lines in the native language if it's a television ad. And the gigs are usually short so it's not like Jared can make his own fun. Usually they're back on a plane within hours. Jared doesn't know how Jensen's body adjusts to all the constant shifts in time zones.
So Jared stays behind and does some extra work in the office. Cohen-Cassidy is bustling now with a staff of six, twice what they started with when Jared joined. Jared mainly handles the model division, but has some musicians, too. He hardly ever actually sees any of his clients face-to-face, so he's surprised when Katie's admin pops his head in his office, and says one of them is there to see him.
A stocky man with long brown hair and startling blue eyes steps in. He doesn't look at all familiar, but Jared stands, shakes his hand, and gestures for him to take a seat. Frantically, he tries to remember who the hell this is, but comes up blank.
"You can quit worrying. You don't know me," the man says with a grin. "I'm Christian Kane."
Jared just about has a heart attack. That's Jensen's first husband. "What?"
"I heard you're marrying Jensen," Christian continues as though Jared hadn't spoken. "So I wanted to give you some advice on the subject."
"Advice?" Jared repeats dumbly. "What do you mean?"
"I'm the first. Married Jensen when he was just sixteen. Man, he was a hellcat," Christian says, his grin changing to something a bit more private.
"Uh, listen, Christian. I think I know what I'm getting into here. I live with him," Jared says hesitantly.
"Do you now?" Christian leans forward. "You ever fight with him?"
"Of course," Jared snorts.
"He ever tackle you to the ground, rip your clothes off, and ride you like a pony?" Christian smirks.
Jared sputters and coughs. "Not exactly."
"I suppose he's mellowed a bit with age," Christian muses. "But Jensen has the sexual appetite of a succubus."
"Yeah, I know," Jared huffs and rolls his eyes. "What exactly is your point?"
"The problem is, he gets bored. That's why he left me. Phenomenal sex, but I let him walk all over me. I was always a sucker for a pretty face," Christian explains.
"I don't let him walk all over me," Jared protests. "I just prefer taking the high road."
"Uh-huh." Christian scrutinizes Jared closely. "Just warning you. You seem like a nice guy. Don't want you to get your heart broken."
Jared blinks. "Thanks?"
"And I want Jensen to be happy. He's spoiled but that doesn't mean he's happy. Think on that a bit."
Christian stands, shakes Jared's hand and walks out the door, not even saying goodbye. Jared shakes off the bizarre conversation and gets back to work. He really, really, really hopes that Jensen's other exes aren't planning on making an appearance.
**
Jensen gets home two days later, his eyes glazed like they get when he's tired, but he's still all over Jared, like they haven't seen each other in months instead of days. They fuck right there in the kitchen, Jensen bent over the counter and Jared sliding into him slow and sweet despite Jensen's keening protests. Jared kisses the back of Jensen's neck, nuzzles against his throat, murmuring soothing words as Jensen comes with a high cry without being touched. A few more thrusts and Jared is coming, too. He pulls out and turns Jensen to face him, kissing him soft and sweet until Jensen slumps boneless against him.
"Missed you," Jensen murmurs sleepily.
"Missed you, too." Jared kisses Jensen's temple.
"Carry me to bed?" Jensen asks, his eyes slipping shut.
"Just this once," Jared laughs softly. He scoops Jensen up in his arms and carries him upstairs and into their bedroom, gently setting him down on their bed. As soon as Jared joins him, Jensen curls up against him, his head on Jared's chest.
**
The next day, Tom comes by with his stack of binders. Jensen and Jared still haven't chosen a cake, a main course for dinner, what to put in the gift bags, if they will have a band or a DJ, and a thousand other little things. They have the flowers and the tuxedos, the location and the date, but that's about it.
"Jared should pick the cake," Jensen says from his sprawled position on the couch.
Jensen seems to prefer to sprawl out on furniture, even in chairs. It's some kind of model thing Jared figures. It certainly does make a distracting, pretty picture.
"You mean you're not going to let me feed you a piece?" Jared asks. He's sitting on the floor, his back against the couch, near Jensen's head. He tilts his head back so he can see Jensen's face and pouts.
"Maybe a little piece," Jensen acquiesces with a fond smile.
"Chocolate?" Jared asks.
"Hmm." Jensen runs his fingers through Jared's hair. "I suppose if I'm going to eat that many calories, I might as well enjoy it."
Jared tips his head back forward and grins at Tom. "Chocolate it is."
"Alright." Tom grins back, clearly finding the moment between Jared and Jensen to be beyond sweet judging by the look on his face, and flips one of the binders to a page filled with chocolate cakes.
Jared takes the binder in his lap and examines them carefully. He remembers the last time he got Jensen to eat chocolate; it had been one of those chocolate oranges Jared got every Christmas from his parents. Jensen nearly had an orgasm over it.
"Can we get something with an orange flavor? Like a liqueur?" Jared asks when he can't find anything like that on the page.
"Sure." Tom makes some notes. "I can set up a tasting in a couple of days."
"Count me out of that," Jensen says. "I have a Calvin Klein shoot next week and you know the camera adds ten pounds as it is."
"You don’t have an ounce of fat on you," Tom protests.
"Oh, but he does," Jared mock whispers. "It's on his hips."
"Jared!" Jensen nearly shrieks, clearly mortified.
"What?" Jared tilts his head back with a teasing grin. "Gives me something to hold onto."
Jensen whacks him in the face with a pillow. "You're a pervert, Jared Padalecki."
"Yeah, but you like that," Jared says fondly.
"Hmmph," Jensen huffs.
Tom clears his throat, but there's a hint of a smile on his face as he collects his binders. "Alright, I'll leave you two love birds alone for now."
They don't even notice him leaving.
**
"Okay," Jared says as he unfurls the layout of the ballroom they're having their reception in. "Seating chart time."
"Ugh," Jensen groans. "Do we have to?"
"I am not doing that by myself," Jared says immediately. "No way, no how."
"But I don't even know your family and my family will protest no matter where you seat them. And the rest of them can just live with random seating because I'm not up on who hates who and who isn't talking to who and it's just too much work," Jensen nearly whines.
Jensen's right. Jared has never introduced Jensen to his family. It's not that he's ashamed or anything, it's just that his family is in Texas and Jared himself doesn't see them much. In fact, he hasn't been down there since he started working for Jensen. He had to announce his engagement over the phone because both he and Jensen couldn't get away.
"Do you want to meet them?" Jared asks.
"Of course I do, but you've never offered," Jensen says softly.
Jared turns around and kneels next to Jensen. "I just… You're always so busy. I'm always so busy. I hardly ever see them myself."
"We could fly down there this weekend," Jensen says. "Meet with them before I have to go on that photo shoot."
"Yeah?" Jared asks, tilting his head.
Jensen kisses him softly. "I'll call Alona right now."
"Okay," Jared says, surprised. "I'll call my parents. I'm sure they'll be thrilled."
**
As it turns out, Jared's parents are not exactly thrilled.
"This is so last minute," Jared's mom frets. "The house is a mess and your grandmother is having one of her spells."
"Mom, Jensen isn't going to care about any of that. He just wants to meet you," Jared softly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. He just wants to meet his future in-laws."
"So the wedding is still on then, huh?" Jared's mom laughs. "Did my method work?"
"Bye, Mom," Jared sighs and then hangs up. Maybe this whole visit isn't such a great idea after all. He can just imagine his mother and Jensen getting on like a house on fire, teasing the shit out of Jared for the entire weekend.
**
Texas is devoid of paparazzi. Whether it's because he and Jensen left so last minute or just that no one cares about Jensen visiting the Lone Star state, Jared doesn't know and doesn't care. It's nice to be able to walk around without getting blinded by flash bulbs and people shouting Jensen's name.
Jensen though, Jensen seems to be less than thrilled with the weather, the people, the rental car, and just about anything else he can think to bitch about. Jared just sighs and tries to ignore him. He figures all the bitching has more to do with Jensen being nervous than anything else.
"I haven't been back here since I got my inheritance," Jensen says when they're halfway to Jared's parents' house.
"No?" Jared asks in the hope Jensen will elaborate.
"My family wasn't overly thrilled that I married a man. No heir, you see," Jensen sighs, pressing his temple against the window. "I mean, there's my brother and he has a kid, but my grandfather specified me as heir to the Ackles Empire. Which I could care less about. There's a CEO and a board of directors that run the oil company and everything else. Every once in a while we all gather in New York City so I can sign some papers, but as long as we're not losing money, what do I even care?"
"I took my money and ran and the rest of my family has never really forgiven me," Jensen continues after a brief pause. "Never mind that I've made a disgrace of them with so many marriages and divorces. And my career choices."
"So, will they even come to the wedding?" Jared asks.
"Of course. There's appearances to keep up," Jensen laughs bitterly.
"I'm sorry it's like that," Jared says quietly as he reaches out and rests his hand on Jensen's thigh.
"Yeah, me too," Jensen sighs.
**
The weekend in Texas has its awkward moments, like when Jared's mom nearly walks in on Jensen giving Jared a blow job or when Jared's sister pulls out the baby pictures, but otherwise it goes well. Jensen charms the hell out of everyone, even Jared's dad, who was never quite comfortable with the whole gay thing even though he's tried so hard to hide it.
Jensen even eats his mom's cooking, shoveling in cornbread and brisket like a starving man. Which, considering Jensen normally lives on a diet of vegetables, he probably really is. He even eats Jared's grandmother's biscuits, which are nothing but lard and flour. Even Jared doesn't eat those.
"You're going to ruin your figure," Jared teases, coming up behind Jensen and resting his hands on his hips as Jensen is piling his plate with more potato salad.
"Mmm, thought you liked me with extra padding," Jensen says huskily, pushing his ass back into Jared's groin.
"Don't start what you can't finish," Jared whispers in Jensen ear, nipping it lightly before pulling away.
"Tease," Jensen calls after him.
Jared grins, feeling happy and carefree, away from the pressures of Jensen's crazy normal life and all the wedding plans. It's good to have a break, he thinks.
**
Upon their return home, Jensen immediately goes on a crazy diet of lettuce and water, which he insists Jared joins him on. Jared did this diet once before and it made him want to curl up in a ball and die, but he humors Jensen anyway. Well, at least when they're eating meals together.
"Oh, god," Jared moans around his cheeseburger when he meets up with his friends for lunch.
"Dude, your food orgasms are really, really disturbing," Chad says, wrinkling his nose.
"Jensen has me on that lettuce diet again," Jared bemoans.
"Sucks to be you," Sandy laughs, stealing a French fry.
"Why exactly do you have to go on a diet? You're ripped as shit," Mike asks.
"Went home to Texas over the weekend. Jensen says my mom's cooking made me fat," Jared mumbles.
"Dude, you have the metabolism of a humming bird. I doubt you gained an ounce," Tom scoffs.
"Yeah, well." Jared shrugs. "It makes Jensen happy when I follow his crazy rules."
Mike makes a whip cracking sound. "Whipped. So are so whipped."
"Hey, we all know that Jensen's hot body is Jared's kryptonite, okay?" Sandy points out.
"Okay, enough of the saga of Jared's love life," Chad interrupts. "Let's talk about my love life."
"What love life?" they all chorus.
"Bitches," Chad grumbles. "I'm so dating this hot nurse."
"Name, dates, places or it didn't happen," Mike says.
"Sophia, last week, met her at the shop. She's a bridesmaid for that one wedding, the one with the chick who insists on a lace dress even though she looks like she's ninety in it?" Chad explains.
"Oh, her?" Tom says. "She's cute."
"Yeah," Chad smiles. "Think I should invite her to your wedding, Jared?"
"Sure, why not?" Jared shrugs, smiling back, happy for his friend.
**
There are over a thousand people on Jensen's list as guests for the wedding. There are fifty people on Jared's. Jared stares at the list and blinks a couple of times. No way is he going to have approximately nine hundred and fifty strangers at his wedding, considering that Jensen is probably only close to about the same number as Jared's entire list and the rest are there at the suggestion of someone else.
"You're inviting Misha Collins to our wedding?" Jared gapes as he skims down the list. "Why the hell would you do that?"
"I told you," Jensen says without looking up from his sketchpad, where he's working on the latest designs for his fashion line. "We have an arrangement."
"Yeah, okay. But Carson Daly? Do you even know him?" Jared continues.
"My publicist put him on there," Jensen says.
"Well, I'm taking him off." Jared uncaps a pen with his teeth and strikes a line through his name.
"Whatever."
"Christian Kane. Seriously? You're inviting ex-husbands to our wedding?" Jared scoffs.
"Yes, all of them. Except Jeffrey Dean, of course," Jensen smirks at his latest ex-husband's name.
"Jensen, did you ever stop to consider that I don't want them there? I mean, would you want my exes at the wedding?" Jared asks, exasperated at Jensen's attitude.
"Well, if you're still friends with them, why not?" Jensen asks, still not looking up from his drawings.
"You're not friends with any of them. You forget, I know you," Jared says with emphasis. "I'm crossing them all off."
"You don't have to be jealous," Jensen mutters.
"I'm not jealous!" Jared cries out. "I just don't want all these guys you've slept with at our wedding."
"You're going to narrow my guest list by half then," Jensen says nonchalantly. He's obviously just saying it to dig at Jared, not because it's actually true. Well, at least Jared hopes it isn't really true.
Jared takes a couple of deep, calming breaths. "Why can't you understand how I feel about this?"
"Because I don't have the same hang-ups as you," Jensen says, finally looking up. "I like sex. Men like to have sex with me. It doesn't have to mean anything."
"You're so incredibly frustrating," Jared snarls, throwing the binder with the list in it down on the coffee table.
He gets up from the couch and stalks away, slamming the back door behind himself.
**
Jared knows he shouldn't be jealous of all the exes. Jensen is his now, after all, but he can't help it. He's slept with maybe five people in his entire life and Jensen's conquests could easily fill an entire book. Sometimes Jared wonders if Jensen gets bored having sex with the same man, with Jared, over and over again. He thinks of what Christian Kane told him and it makes him nervous.
Jensen could have anyone, but he chose Jared. Why? What's so special about Jared? He's not rich or famous or beautiful. He's a regular guy from a regular family who had a completely ordinary life until Jensen walked into Jeffrey Dean's office one morning and turned his life upside down.
He's insecure, is what it is, and Jared knows that but it doesn't stop him from feeling the way he does. Jensen is just so out of his league. Jared keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Jensen to meet someone else and call off the wedding. For Jensen to be married to him and then find someone better, making it his sixth divorce. For Jensen to come to his senses and realize that Jared is just an ordinary guy.
**
"I'm going to Milan tomorrow," Jensen says from the doorway of one of the guest rooms, where Jared has been hiding out since his little blow up.
"I know," Jared mutters, not bothering to move out of the bed or even really look at Jensen.
"I don't want to leave things like this," Jensen says softly.
"So don't go," Jared pouts.
"Jared, please." Jensen steps further into the room.
"Just go."
"Jared…" Jensen pleads, anguish clear in his voice.
"It's fine, Jensen," Jared says tonelessly.
Jensen doesn't respond. When Jared finally lifts his head from the pillow, he's gone.
**
"Jared! Jared!"
Jared turns his head and gets blinded by flash bulbs. Usually he's pretty much left alone when he's out on his own. Maybe a couple of paparazzi and that's it. Today there's a virtual mob hounding him as he attempts to get into his office.
"Jared, why aren't you in Milan with Jensen?"
"Jared, how's the wedding coming?"
"Jared, are you and Jensen still planning on getting married?"
"Jared, how do you feel about Jensen doing the latest Calvin Klein spread with his ex-husband, Wentworth Miller?"
"What?" Jared can't help but ask. He didn't know and it clearly shows on his face, because the paparazzi swarm like hungry sharks at that.
"Jared, Jensen didn't tell you?"
"Jared, how does that make you feel?"
"Jared, is the wedding still on?"
The questions make Jared dizzy. He pushes the cameras out of the way and shoves his way into the office building, nearly diving for the elevator. Ignoring the staff's calls, asking him what's wrong, Jared runs into his office and dials Jensen's cell phone. It rings and rings, and there's no answer.
"This is Jensen Ackles' phone. Please leave a message," Alona's cool voice states.
"Jensen…" Jared barks out then pauses, taking a deep breath. "You need to call me back."
He hangs up and then slumps down in his office chair. Like a masochist, he opens his laptop and goes to Misha Collins' website. Of course there's a webcast already up about the whole thing; Jensen probably told Misha himself.
Hey Minions! You'll never guess who hottie with a body, Jensen Ackles, is coveting with now. Wentworth Miller. That's right, our favorite diva was caught canoodling with husband number three. Here's a picture of the model giving the billionaire a kiss to die for. Oh what I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall! And what does future husband number six have to say about all this? Well, a little birdie told me that he was shocked to hear it. With one month until the big I Dos, is the wedding still on? My sources say yes, but Mr. Publicity, I'd watch my back if I were you.
Jared growls, but still immediately goes to the gallery section of the website where indeed there are several pictures of Jensen and Wentworth kissing. Holding hands. Sharing a cup of gelato. Laughing as they're coming out of a shop. Jensen sure did move fast on that one. And Jared feels like a total idiot as he stares at the last picture.
Jensen is giving Wentworth this adoring look, like he hung the moon. Jared is fairly sure Jensen has never looked at him like that.
**
Jensen doesn't call back. Not an hour later, not twelve hours later. Calls to Alona yield nothing other than the woman's heavy sighs and undoubtedly heavy eye rolling. She claims that Jensen is just doing his job, but last time Jared checked, fucking Wentworth Miller wasn't part of the job description.
Jared normally isn't one for temper tantrums or displays of jealously. That's Jensen's department, but Jared is devastated and upset, more upset than he's ever been with Jensen. So he goes out every night, getting plastered and flirting with every guy who so much as looks at him.
Katie and Lauren take him out for karaoke and Jared drinks the rainbow, twice. Then he gets up on stage and does a very passionate rendition of Ce Lo Green's "Fuck You", thinking of Jensen and Wentworth the entire time.
After that, he does another round of shots, he thinks. It gets fuzzy after that.
**
Parts V-VIII