(no subject)
I’m being crap at the minute, I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to do anything about it. It’s not that I’m depressed, but everything has gone flat - I try to read but it doesn’t make any sense, I try to write a letter but the words won’t come, I try to do important things but they don’t need done today so why not wait? Half of me is restless and wants to run and lift weights, the other half wants to sleep forever and a day.
I suppose what I’m describing are symptoms of depression, but it’s not depression as I normally experience it. No despair and pain and terror at that sense of impending doom (that’s a great phrase, is it not?) I sometimes get. This is just…. Flat. Nothing.
Vegan week has been going well anyway, today is the last day officially but it’ll probably carry on for at least as long as I have food left in the cupboard and don’t need to go shopping. I can’t really be bothered typing out a weeks worth of food right now but I’ll get onto it tomorrow. It hasn’t technically been properly vegan because I’ve been eating things with honey in them, but no meat / fish / dairy / eggs is close enough, I reckon. I’m not really sure what the honey thing is all about actually - is it just to be able to say “I eat NO animal products AT ALL,” or is there a genuine reason? And is that reason actually related to the economic/ecological/moral reasons for not eating other animal products, or is it something that sort of evolved from the more extreme (batshit crazy mental) elements of groups like PETA, and just ended up being adopted by other people? Is it even possible to keep bees in cruel, intensive farming-type conditions?!