Nepeta: Seek your moirail.

[furriendly]

Who: Nepeta Leijon furriendly & Equius Zahhak equestrian_envy
What: Asking fur furgiveness
When: RIGHT. NOW.
Where: Equius's respiteblock room.
Rating: lol? IT'S NEPEQUIUS. It's not going over PG.

Comments

[equestrian_envy]

"In Nepeta, it is not like you to knock." He says, his voice loud enough to hear through the door. Equius had been spending an even larger amount of his time fiddling away at his projects, even trying to force himself back into archery, only to yes, once again fail, over and over, only proving to further his addiction to the craft and well, breaking those noble, steady bows.

Besides this, he had taken into working on robotics more and more. Trying to get his craft a little more sophisticated and streamlined. And since lately he had no one pestering him constantly with their need for tea parties or feeling jams, or one sided hugs....he has..been getting a lot done. As much as he despised it, he knew he could not give into her though, she had done something disgraceful.

Even if she was all he had... He had to teach her that this wasn't right, and avoiding her would hopefully help in this. She needed him after all, her highblood tutor, trying to lead her on the right path.

She needed him as much as he needed her. Well maybe, his rage fits were fairly bad without her there. He never realized just how bad his hands could hurt after not mending them even after a few days. His knuckles seemed to be a constant blue now, as were his finger tips.

But it was worth it. She needed to learn, to grow up. Nepeta could not allow herself to be so easily influenced by others, especially not Vriska, or even Karkat, even though he knew how she felt for the mutant troll.

[furriendly]

It really wasn't like her to knock, but then this was a serious matter that required her to be, well, somewhat serious about it.

She goes so far as to remove her hat, stuffing it into the pocket of her long coat as she opens the door and enters his room. It's a mess, just like before, but worse. Every scrap piece of metal is another bout of anger and frustration that she knows she's responsible for. She puffs her cheeks and pouts at it, and crosses the room toward him.

Except she stops a few feet behind him, twisting her sleeves a bit. So much embarrassment! The knot in her stomach tightens, forcing her to take a deep breath.

"I just want to say that I've had a long time to think about what I've done, and it was really stupid." She pauses, looking off to the side. "And that I'm sorry."

[equestrian_envy]

"It was stupid, infact, it still is and forever will be," he replies, as if instantaneously, without even thinking, still facing away from her as he tinkers away at a current creation. Equius doesn't seem to turn her way at all, his eyes still looking through his shades to the metal below him. It would be easier to speak if he did not see her. He swore that that face could make him say and do things he wouldn't normally, like some kind of magical tomfoolery, even if magic was not real.

"I wish to imprint upon you the seriousness of this Nepeta..." He begins again, putting the wrench down on the floor with a soft clank, still not looking at her, his shades blocking his eyes like always. Had any of them but her actually seen his gaze fully? He can't think of a time anyone had.

"I want you to explain to me why what you did was wrong."

[furriendly]

There's a protest that starts to form on her lips, but she bites it back. She said she was sorry! What more did he want? But their relationship wasn't one that was based on superficial apologies or sentiments. She knew what he was doing, and she knew why. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to have to answer this one.

She takes another breath.

"It was wrong because... because you're not supposed to do that. And I knew better. And I knew what would happen if I did, but I did it anyway." But it was only once! It was only a little bit! She thinks these thoughts, but they sound stupid even to her and she doesn't say them. "I made myself look really dumb."

[equestrian_envy]

A sigh leaves his lips as he listens to her explanation, having a hard time fighting a small smile pulling on his lips. He manages to stop it before it forms, still facing away from her. She, was horrible at expressing herself in serious conversations. When it came to listening and helping him with his own faults, she was pro. No one could out match her. No one could get him to disclose his feelings like she could and then help him through his thoughts. But when it came to her trying to express something is was always too round-about.

Equius turns as he sits, his left leg bent up and his left arm resting on the same knee, a right arm palm to the floor, supporting him as he turns to face her, still sitting, his face void of emotion, hair still in a messy tie and mostly out of his face.

"No matter how many times I say this you never seem to understand. Speak with authority to me, even if your blood only permits a lower form of speech. I will not have you weaving around the subject, explain to me why doing what you did was bad." His words fall with a stern note, though he doesn't seem to be holding any anger for her right now, his demeanor rather calm actually.

Nepeta needed to understand, whether she respected the hemospectrum or not, that riddling herself with such toxins was disrespectful, but not only to him and their kind. It was a disgrace to herself, as if placing a mark of blasphemy on her bodily temple. The feline troll spoke around the problem, merely using broad words like "wrong" and "dumb", not actually touching on the true issue here. They might still be young grubs, but that did not stop him from trying to better her. And perhaps her learning to express herself more would help her little redrom problem... As much as Equius wanted nothing to do with that.

[furriendly]

At his stern words, she squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself. Why was this so hard? But she knows that shrinking away won't work, and it certainly isn't want Equius wants to see from her. It's not how she wants to react at all.

This time, she opens her eyes and straightens her back.

"It's wrong because of what it does to a troll. It's harmful. It's dangerous for me to put in my system." A huff escapes her lips.

"And... And I'm above that. We're above that. Because it's--Well, it's... It's just downright degrading. And worst of all, I wasn't myself, and I wasn't there for you. And that's the part that really hurts! I wasn't even coherent enough to do my job as a moirail! I'm supposed to make sure you're calm, but I was off putting that stuff in my system and it stopped me from being me! I didn't think about how it would affect anyone else. I didn't stop and think that maybe you would get hurt or that you would be shamed by what I did, and and and..."

The floodgate had opened, and now she was running out of words to say. Her eyes began to well up and she felt that knot in her stomach suddenly jump into her throat, cutting off her words.

[equestrian_envy]

He is already standing up and stepping over to her as she begins to tear up, looking down at her still, with no expression. He lets her finish and squats down close in front of her, holding out a hand and wishing for a handkerchief. The troll looks over his moirail with a look of pity and concern and sighs under his breath as he puts a hand under her chin and lifts her head softly, taking the other hand and, as light as he possibly can, wipes her cheeks and eyes with the soft cloth, moving her head in his head as he does so and with another sigh, lowers both his hands. He remains crouched in front of her, his knees point out in either direction, arms slung over to rest on either bent leg.

"I suppose if your dignity is to ever shatter, it is best to be in my presence then any other..." He says with a slight tremble in his voice. He remains stone faced though besides that, looking her over, studying her face and posture. He can tell she understands. He just wanted to hear her say it, he wanted to have it confirmed. She did well to oblige and he knew that not only did he not need to drag this apology on any longer he didn't really want too.

"Thank you for admitting your wrong. And though I know you understand now and shouldn't do this ever again, I will make sure to demand it of you myself." His words leave his mouth with a curl of reassurance, a slight shudder in them still, a reaction from seeing her tear up and cry. It wasn't strong for him to follow suit, but he did feel it pushing behind his eyes. The blueblood troll leans forward a bit and lightly sets his chin ontop of her head inbetween her horns, closing his eyes, his arms remaining near him instead of her.

"I command you to never do this again."

Now would be the appropriate time for an embrace, he knows this. Though, he also knows that is impossible.

[furriendly]

She simply stands there, crying despite her best efforts not to. But his gestures quickly reassure her that he forgives her, and she's willing to to just about anything to keep it that way. She instinctively winces, unable to help the natural fear that comes with Equius and his strength, but her eyes slowly open. She can see a bit of sweat on his brow and knows he's making quite the effort not to hurt her. He might have just wiped her tears but her eyes start to water once again.

When the opportunity presents itself, she throws her arms around him and buries her face in his chest. The knots and the tension leave and things just seem to fit like puzzle pieces all over again. She almost doesn't want to let go, as is apparent by her clinging tightly to him. When she speaks, it's a little muffled against him.

"I promise," she says. She's left the cat puns out of this to show how serious she is with regard to her words.

[equestrian_envy]

"Good. Now let us never speak of this again." His reply leaves him quickly as he beats away the urge to get too emotional and softly perches his arms on her shoulders without embracing her. Hugs, embraces, anything if this sort, he tries not thinking of them, but it was hard not too when around her. He couldn't...return the favor. It always turns his stomach, churning it over and over as he regrets it over and over. His strength maybe, wasn't his most valued attribute...

A sigh leaves him as she clung harder and he couldn't help but smile and close his eyes, reminding himself how lucky she was...no, how lucky he was. Ugh, he wants to hug her right now, but cannot, he will merely have to enjoy it half way like always.

"Come now Nepeta, I find your positive demeanor to be more suited for you."

[furriendly]

With a rather long sigh, she lifts her head and dries her eyes with her sleeves, still not moving very far away from Equius. She had become rather accustomed to being around him as often as she liked, without having a ridiculous distance placed between their hives, and the lack of interaction between them had been rather poignant and, well, lonely. She never wants it to happen ever again.

She puts on a smile that's forced at first, but it slowly becomes more genuine. "That'll be easier now. Probably for the first time in a few days. Umm," she looks up and away, and then back at him. "Can we make up for that lost time?"

[equestrian_envy]

Equius manages a small smile, his chipped teeth only making it more awkward then it needed to be. He watched as she fidgeted and looked away for a moment, only to look back at him. The blueblood troll raises and eyebrow and finds a sigh leaving his lips. He didn't exactly know wat 'make up for lost time' entailed, though with Nepeta it could be a rather large range of things.

To be honest, did it even matter? It's not as though he was going to decline whatever her invitation was. It was Nepeta after all, and mother grub forbid not seeing that smile of hers and having it melt him away. He did hope he wouldn't have to deal with the memory of all of this later. Sopor slime was one of his least favorite topics and it already riddled him with frustration thinking about the other trolls who had partaken that night to bring up the event.

"Meaning what? This statement could saddle me into many different situations..."

AND THEN I THOUGHT I REPLIED TO THIS DAYS AGO AND REALIZED I HADN'T

[furriendly]

A grin tugs at the corner of her mouth. She missed those puns of his, intentional or unintentional as they were. But even she wonders what she meant by that. It would have to be something he would enjoy. None of these tea parties he went along with like a trooper. Something bigger. Something...

Her eyes widen. She knows exactly what to do.

"Meaning, I want to take you somewhere. Just the two of us! And I promise that you will like it." She's already thinking of the preparations that must be made, the questions she needs answered.

She takes his wrists in her hands and bounces lightly on her heels. She sniffles, the last bit of her crying now fading away as she give him a hopeful smile. "Can I take you on a surprise trip?"

AND THEN I SAID IT WAS OKAY BRO, SIMMER DOWN NAO.

[equestrian_envy]

He wasn't quite sure if he should be terrified or intrigued. This was different from her usual requests so perhaps it would be more entertaining on his part? Not that deep down he didn't mind her other requests, they just, weren't his thing really. They weren't suited for a man of such strong masculine physique. Okay moirail dear, surprise him.

"All right Leijon, I shall humor you," he coos with a curious tone, an eyebrow raising as he looks to her inquisitively. What could she be planning? Well...It didn't matter what it was if it was just them, so there was no sense being too nosey.

"When would you desire we conduct this...trip?"

[furriendly]

She looks up as if in thought as she sways their hands back and forth. It's kind of a big deal, not a trip to be taken too lightly.

"Soon," she says. "There's just a few things that I have to figure out, but I promise it will be worth the wait. We can't just go charging into the Dea----ylight without being prepared."

Not the smoothest of catches, admittedly.

She drops his hands in favor of giving him another hug. "Just leave everything to me."

[equestrian_envy]

Suspicious.

"Okay. I shall leave it to you. Contact me when this endeavor is to occur," he smiles as he accepts the hug, his arms limp at his sides. He couldn't help but wonder..what exactly she was planning. But, it was Nepeta after all, couldn't be horrible. So trusting her made sense. Trusting her always made sense.