There's denial... and then there's Martel
Who: Yuan and Martel
What: Chit chatting... OR IS I-- I'm kidding.
When: During the KARMA plot, after Martel's arrival
Where: Courtyard
Rating: Um, guys, it's Martel. G
Martel - Green
Yuan - Blue
Yuan sighed as he made his way down to the courtyard, hoping that his hands weren't shaking too badly. Everything felt like it had been turned upside down. Martel was here. Martel from thousands of years ago, just after her death, was here and finding it hard to believe that her brother had gone insane. Would she accept what Yuan had done? What Yuan had become? He hoped she could, but even then...it had been so long...
He stopped underneath a tree and simply waited. Whatever would happen next, he had to be strong for her. She was lost, confused...and so young, now...
All things considered Martel had tried to stay as calm as she could, only asking as few questions as she could manage. She was more than worried and confused. Yuan didn’t really mean what he said to her did he? Her sweet younger brother, the one she had always looked out for until her death, insane and manipulating? This was not easy news to soak in, nor could she believe anything of the sort. Martel was past her wits in worry, but now wasn’t the time. She had to keep that smile with her, she could not give in to such an awful idea about her brother. What kind of sister would she be if she did? No, she would keep going and stay strong for as long as she could. Even if it killed her… again.
The area was still a bit strange to become accustomed to. She walked outside in a slow pace, staff in hand from more of a habit than anything. Eventually she came across the courtyard and saw the very familiar figure. He seemed the same, even from a distance she could not imagine such a large time passing as Yuan had warned her earlier. She only paused her steps a moment and then continued on until she was but a few feet away. “Yuan.” Her expression held a warm smile. She was overjoyed to see him. To Martel; Yuan always brought a sort of comfort to her, even now after all the so called time she was satisfied to see him.
Yuan stiffened and turned at the sound of her voice. And there she was, standing before him...his breath caught in his throat. "Martel," he whispered, reaching out before he could stop himself. It was one thing to speak to her, but to see her here, after so long...he snatched his hand back just before it reached her. "I...you're really here." It hadn't fully sunk in until this moment, she was really, truly here and alive...
How long could it have been? Martel tilted her head slightly to the side, a smile still in tact. “Yes, it is good to see you again, Yuan.” For her it hadn’t been long at all so the shock of it all was not so great. All the same she couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt from her being here. The dead are to stay dead, they should not return, it is simply wrong. But at the same time Martel couldn’t help but feel almost a little selfish in wanting to stay. She never wanted to leave in the first place, after all. It was something they all had to accept out of the blue.
“How have you been?” Trying to not think of her brother was a challenge, but she couldn’t snap or lose her smile near Yuan. It was wrong of her to do so. The last thing she wanted was to worry him. So she would hold out as long as she could with idle chatter. Martel walked over to a nearby bench and took a seat, resting her staff by her side. While making sure to leave room for Yuan to sit, she put her hand on one side of the bench trying to signal him to sit with her.
Yuan shook his head, even as he sat beside her. How could he explain everything? "I've...been better," he admitted. "It was hard, especially at first..." He shook his head. "It's been so long since I've seen you..." Her smile was so familiar, it had been so long, that for a moment he couldn't tell it was false.
It stung a little to hear him say that it hurt. She knew she had to go and she had no choice and she could even guess about the mark it would leave. But all the same it was hard to hear the words. “How long has it truly been?” Martel was almost nervous to hear the answer. She knew it would leave her with more guilt but she would never let him know that. Another thought crept through her mind but she quickly disregarded it, she didn’t want to say such an awful thing while he seemed so happy to see her. No, it was better left to herself.
He frowned at the question, a pained look crossing his eyes for a moment. She had to ask that...of course, he'd have had to tell her anyway, but... "Four thousand years," was the murmured reply. He wished he could have broken it to her more easily, but...she'd asked, and with the castle's influence, answering was all he could do.
A long pause over fell Martel. How? Was that even possible? By now her smile had faded a little. This added to her confusion. She was expecting a few years at most, Yuan hadn’t changed, after all. But four thousand? To top it off, the silence was beginning to grow far past comfort. “How?” She finally managed to say, her voice more soft now. Then yet another question hit her that she couldn’t help but ask. “Mithos as well?” She feared such an answer. Had she truly been gone that long? It seemed more than impossible. She held her hands in her lap, over top one another. She was trying her best to stay strong.
Yuan nodded, seeing the effect and wishing all the more that he could have held his tongue. "With the aid of our Cruxis Crystals," he replied. "We discovered how to use them to halt aging completely... Mithos and Kratos are both as old as I am, now." He sighed. "I...I know it's a shock..." A part of him wanted to comfort her, as he'd done in the past, but the rest of him cried out against getting too close, too soon...and he wasn't sure that he could comfort her properly, could allow her the illusion that he was the man he'd been then.
Martel gave it another moment to soak in. Cruxis Crystals? How could something grant a thing like that? It seemed wrong or at least off. But she would say nothing of it. What bothered her the most was hearing that her younger brother had to live just as long. Dying was natural, aging was natural. If time never continued for someone, even if it was only physical, then how could they move on with life? It seemed like such a crueler fate than her own. “I am sorry, Yuan.” She began to say, with a strong sense of how much she could have been worrying him with her silence. “It must have been hard for everyone. I did not know it could be so long, not even in my mind.” Her words certainly held a tone of guilt, though she tried to hide it. “I am fine, and I will be fine; please do not worry. But I still apologize for leaving you and everyone for so long. I never thought of such a length.” She knew very well that an apology did nothing, that she had no choice when she left. But she said them all the same. If only to make up for something, at least one of those four thousand years with her small apologies.
"Oh, Martel," Yuan said. "Don't apologize, please...none of this was your fault." He shook his head. "...We should never have done it, but...I wasn't thinking clearly. There's no excuse, though." There was no excuse for the things he'd done, all in the name of having her back...and now that he'd renounced them, renounced even the thought of trying to return her to life as an abomination...here she was before him. If there was such a thing as fate, it clearly hated him. "You couldn't have known any of this would happen."
He was right, there really was no way for her to know of what was to come. Nothing like this had ever crossed her mind before. But all the same, she couldn’t help but feel responsible. She nodded slowly, listening to him carefully. She wanted to apologize again but somehow managed to refrain herself from doing so. “Yuan…” She began in a more comforting voice, she knew the stress she must have been putting onto him. He could feel a guilt as well and it was clear to her now. “Why for so long?” She asked with more curiosity than guilt or sadness. It simply seemed so long to her. What could have possibly made them fight and live for so long? Such a thing was the largest aspect that baffled her.
Yuan closed his eyes. Another question, another that he wished he could avoid answering. "Trying to revive you," he replied quietly. "Mithos...we all wanted...to bring you back, knowing that your soul had been caught in your Cruxis Crystal..." And now the truly dreadful questions would come, the questions that would reveal his part in the abomination that they had perpetrated on an unsuspecting society...
So much for the recovery Martel was trying to make. This; she was stunned by. “But now you know it is wrong, correct Yuan?” If her heart could sink, it was way passed ten thousand leagues under the sea. But somehow she had hope that they had learned from their errors. “Yuan.” She was trying to pick her words cautiously. “How can something like that even happen? It is wrong.” She sat in silence a moment longer, thinking. Now one of the hands on her lap was clenched from worry. She was horrified to hear how but she needed to know. If Yuan wasn’t forced to tell her like now then would he have even said a word to her? Ignorance can be bliss until someone tells the truth. “I am not…” She was trying to remedy at least part of the situation. What she said a moment ago seemed almost harsh. “I am not disappointed or mad, Yuan. I could never be with any of you. Not Mithos, you, or even Kratos. I am happy and grateful that all of you have tried so hard to bring me back, even if it was wrong. But… I am sorry Yuan but, this is something that I feel I should know, is it not?” Her attempt to make things easier on him was probably set to fail but she would never give up so easily. She didn’t want to ask these questions anymore than Yuan wanted to answer them, after all.
"Yes," he murmured. "Yes, you deserve to know, and yes, I know it's wrong. I, too was mad with grief for a time, but that's no excuse for..." He took a deep breath before answering her other question, feeling the dread curdling his stomach. "By...suppressing the soul of a person with a similar mana signature to yours, using a Cruxis Crystal, and...transferring your soul into their body." He didn't want to meet her eyes, didn't want to see the censure he was sure he'd find there, but he couldn't look away. "Martel, I'm sorry..." he whispered. "We were wrong, I was wrong to even consider it, let alone..." Let alone attempt it, let alone allow the attempts to continue for so long.
The Kharlan War, a massacre still fresh in Martel’s mind was an awful thing. So many had lost their lives and so many things were dying from the lack of mana within the world. Innocent lives, completely lost, innocent people mistreated and abused, the world that granted all those things life, destroyed by those it gave air to breathe. All of this was like yesterday to Martel, because it was yesterday. Her biggest hope was for the end of the war to come and for life to begin anew again. For no more people to suffer and die without a cause. For people to get along and help each other take care of the life that they were given. But her hopes seemed to only reach so far.
Suppressing a soul meant the one with that soul would die. Martel could figure such a thing out easily. Had they all truly been that hurt by her loss that they chose to kill countless innocent people to bring her back? Putting it like that sounded harsh, yes, but it was the truth in the end. Martel waited for Yuan to finish everything he had to say. She couldn’t even think of a response. But she wouldn’t be mad at him nor could she hold it against him. They had all been grieved with her loss and didn’t know better. Yes, that’s the conclusion Martel could come to with a bit more ease. It wasn’t really their fault. None of them would ever kill innocent people like that. They were all good at heart. Mithos, her kind and caring younger brother, he would never harm anything for such a cause. They were simply confused… for four thousand years. Seemed logical enough, right?
“You know now, correct Yuan? You understand why it was wrong, right Yuan?” She was begging for reassurance. She tilted her head and tried to look at him. “Yuan…” She wanted his honest consent, she wanted that answer more than the others. She was scared, no, terrified to hear a no or not an answer at all. “Yuan, promise me you will not try such things again. I can not come back, I should not even be here. It is all wrong.” She placed one hand by her side nearest to him. It was probably the closest she would ever get, less she pop a personal bubble of sort. She didn’t want to ask anything else, she probably couldn’t handle anything else. If it wasn’t for her stubborn optimism she would have given into a drama something fierce. “Yuan?” She needed him to agree, to look at her face to face and promise her. By now, hopefully she had made it clear she felt no negativity towards him or the others. It was simply not their fault.
"Of course," Yuan replied almost instantly. "Of course I do, Martel. I promise you, I'll never try such a thing again. I...I know better, now, I know that you would never have wanted so many innocents sacrificed in your name..." He could see how she was struggling under this burden of knowledge, and it hurt, it hurt to know what he'd done to her... "I'm so sorry," he whispered again. "I...I've been...trying to stop Mithos. He's taken control, but I've been working secretly to end the organization we started to support our scheme. I-I know it's not enough to make up for what we've done, but..." Nothing could ever be enough to erase the hurt in those eyes, the pain of knowing that it was his fault she was so shocked and dismayed.
It was pretty clear from just his tone he had learned his lesson but Martel shook her head at his whisper. “No, Yuan. Do not apologize to me. Apologize to those who lost their lives because of this.” But despite that the words about her brother bothered her. “Mithos was young, he did not understand then. He…” All of this was very hard to swallow. More than half of her didn’t want to even imagine such a thing from those she trusted and cared for. “Please, you must not harm Mithos, Yuan. He simply does not understand. Mithos would never harm anyone, he would never do this. He is only confused.” Things seemed to be falling apart right in front of her, or as she heard them. But Martel could do nothing about it but listen and cringe at such ideas and ignore others.
"They can't hear me anymore," Yuan replied simply, his gaze bleak. "You can." He shook his head, looking away as memories of the things Mithos had done over the years filled his mind. "...He's changed," he murmured. "We all have. Four thousand years is a long time... He calls himself Lord Yggdrasill now."
“I am sure they can hear you, and they will be thankful for your apology. They will understand, too.” She gave him a small and rather short lived smile. She certainly wouldn’t give up her cheer that easily and what she said was true, to her at least.
Change was inevitable. Well, except physical change, apparently. But Martel was well aware of such a thing. Change has to happen in order for life to continue otherwise all is pretty much doomed. However, the Lord aspect confused Martel, though it wasn’t as if her confusion was a new concept. “All things change.” She nodded in agreement. “But why would he call himself Lord?” She asked, trying not to sound too overwhelmingly confused.
"Because that's what he is," Yuan told her. "In order to find a vessel that would match your mana signature, he set up a vast organization which holds sway over the two worlds." He knew it would hurt her to hear it, knew it was already hurting her, but he also knew that allowing her to believe in lies would be doing Martel a disservice.
Martel gave Yuan a nod, being understanding was luckily her strong point. “Is that why he did not allow the seed to grow?” Her voice sounded a little hurt by it. From what she knew before her death was that the seed had to grow or it would die and the mana in the world along with it. “Mithos…” Martel whispered very faintly to herself. Now, more than ever, she wanted to see her little brother again. To speak with him and get him to understand why and where things were wrong. He would listen to her, she was sure of it. Martel was more than convinced she could get him to understand.
"He wouldn't allow the seed to grow because your soul, caught inside your Cruxis Crystal, was bound to it," Yuan replied unhappily. "If it were allowed to sprout, it would have absorbed you...but in turn, in being revived your soul would have absorbed the Seed itself. That's...when I learned that, that was when I realized he had to be stopped." That was when he'd realized how horrified Martel would have been at what they'd done...when he knew he would have to sacrifice her life in the name of saving the world.
Surprisingly enough Martel gave Yuan a smile. Her optimism would never fail her. “Thank you, Yuan; for wanting my return and understanding what your errors were in the end. I am happy for both.” In a way it was nice to hear that they all wanted her to stay with them so badly. But the world was much more important than her life. Martel knew it probably took Yuan a great deal of effort to finally see that truth. She was truly proud of him. “I am glad that you have accepted my passing, it is very hard for one to do that. I am only saddened that I am here now; ruining your understanding.” Finally her smile died down, but only for a moment. “I promise to stay with all of you, even when I am completely gone. I will never leave any of you alone. Remember that for me, Yuan. Will you?” A small smile returned to her expression.
"I will," he responded firmly. It was so terribly true, too...one way or another, even after four thousand years, Martel's memory still haunted them all, and now...now she was here, and smiling and forgiving him, and he didn't know what to think about that. He didn't know what to feel about that.
“Then I am happy.” She closed her eyes, satisfied and more calm than she had ever been since her arrival. The truth that Yuan spoke of still bothered her greatly but for now she would be at peace; for his sake. She gave him one last smile then stood from her seat, retrieving her staff from where she had leaned it to rest. “May we speak later as well?” She was a little hesitant on the idea, herself. If Yuan had only just began understanding and accepting her death then was it really a good idea for them to see each other? She was dead, her time was up. All of the air she was breathing and the time they were spending together was wrong and unnatural. Something that shouldn’t be. But she wanted to see him all the same. What a predicament.
Yuan nodded. "Of course," he replied. "I could hardly ignore your presence, now that you're here...that wouldn't be fair to you at all." It wasn't fair to him that she was here, but that wasn't her fault. She didn't deserve to be punished for it.
That response worried Martel. Fair or not it was better if they probably didn’t speak, that Yuan didn’t know she was there. Though that thought was a little late now. But she nodded with a smile and a “Thank you.” If worse came to worse she could distance herself from him, she hoped.
What: Chit chatting... OR IS I-- I'm kidding.
When: During the KARMA plot, after Martel's arrival
Where: Courtyard
Rating: Um, guys, it's Martel. G
Martel - Green
Yuan - Blue
Yuan sighed as he made his way down to the courtyard, hoping that his hands weren't shaking too badly. Everything felt like it had been turned upside down. Martel was here. Martel from thousands of years ago, just after her death, was here and finding it hard to believe that her brother had gone insane. Would she accept what Yuan had done? What Yuan had become? He hoped she could, but even then...it had been so long...
He stopped underneath a tree and simply waited. Whatever would happen next, he had to be strong for her. She was lost, confused...and so young, now...
All things considered Martel had tried to stay as calm as she could, only asking as few questions as she could manage. She was more than worried and confused. Yuan didn’t really mean what he said to her did he? Her sweet younger brother, the one she had always looked out for until her death, insane and manipulating? This was not easy news to soak in, nor could she believe anything of the sort. Martel was past her wits in worry, but now wasn’t the time. She had to keep that smile with her, she could not give in to such an awful idea about her brother. What kind of sister would she be if she did? No, she would keep going and stay strong for as long as she could. Even if it killed her… again.
The area was still a bit strange to become accustomed to. She walked outside in a slow pace, staff in hand from more of a habit than anything. Eventually she came across the courtyard and saw the very familiar figure. He seemed the same, even from a distance she could not imagine such a large time passing as Yuan had warned her earlier. She only paused her steps a moment and then continued on until she was but a few feet away. “Yuan.” Her expression held a warm smile. She was overjoyed to see him. To Martel; Yuan always brought a sort of comfort to her, even now after all the so called time she was satisfied to see him.
Yuan stiffened and turned at the sound of her voice. And there she was, standing before him...his breath caught in his throat. "Martel," he whispered, reaching out before he could stop himself. It was one thing to speak to her, but to see her here, after so long...he snatched his hand back just before it reached her. "I...you're really here." It hadn't fully sunk in until this moment, she was really, truly here and alive...
How long could it have been? Martel tilted her head slightly to the side, a smile still in tact. “Yes, it is good to see you again, Yuan.” For her it hadn’t been long at all so the shock of it all was not so great. All the same she couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt from her being here. The dead are to stay dead, they should not return, it is simply wrong. But at the same time Martel couldn’t help but feel almost a little selfish in wanting to stay. She never wanted to leave in the first place, after all. It was something they all had to accept out of the blue.
“How have you been?” Trying to not think of her brother was a challenge, but she couldn’t snap or lose her smile near Yuan. It was wrong of her to do so. The last thing she wanted was to worry him. So she would hold out as long as she could with idle chatter. Martel walked over to a nearby bench and took a seat, resting her staff by her side. While making sure to leave room for Yuan to sit, she put her hand on one side of the bench trying to signal him to sit with her.
Yuan shook his head, even as he sat beside her. How could he explain everything? "I've...been better," he admitted. "It was hard, especially at first..." He shook his head. "It's been so long since I've seen you..." Her smile was so familiar, it had been so long, that for a moment he couldn't tell it was false.
It stung a little to hear him say that it hurt. She knew she had to go and she had no choice and she could even guess about the mark it would leave. But all the same it was hard to hear the words. “How long has it truly been?” Martel was almost nervous to hear the answer. She knew it would leave her with more guilt but she would never let him know that. Another thought crept through her mind but she quickly disregarded it, she didn’t want to say such an awful thing while he seemed so happy to see her. No, it was better left to herself.
He frowned at the question, a pained look crossing his eyes for a moment. She had to ask that...of course, he'd have had to tell her anyway, but... "Four thousand years," was the murmured reply. He wished he could have broken it to her more easily, but...she'd asked, and with the castle's influence, answering was all he could do.
A long pause over fell Martel. How? Was that even possible? By now her smile had faded a little. This added to her confusion. She was expecting a few years at most, Yuan hadn’t changed, after all. But four thousand? To top it off, the silence was beginning to grow far past comfort. “How?” She finally managed to say, her voice more soft now. Then yet another question hit her that she couldn’t help but ask. “Mithos as well?” She feared such an answer. Had she truly been gone that long? It seemed more than impossible. She held her hands in her lap, over top one another. She was trying her best to stay strong.
Yuan nodded, seeing the effect and wishing all the more that he could have held his tongue. "With the aid of our Cruxis Crystals," he replied. "We discovered how to use them to halt aging completely... Mithos and Kratos are both as old as I am, now." He sighed. "I...I know it's a shock..." A part of him wanted to comfort her, as he'd done in the past, but the rest of him cried out against getting too close, too soon...and he wasn't sure that he could comfort her properly, could allow her the illusion that he was the man he'd been then.
Martel gave it another moment to soak in. Cruxis Crystals? How could something grant a thing like that? It seemed wrong or at least off. But she would say nothing of it. What bothered her the most was hearing that her younger brother had to live just as long. Dying was natural, aging was natural. If time never continued for someone, even if it was only physical, then how could they move on with life? It seemed like such a crueler fate than her own. “I am sorry, Yuan.” She began to say, with a strong sense of how much she could have been worrying him with her silence. “It must have been hard for everyone. I did not know it could be so long, not even in my mind.” Her words certainly held a tone of guilt, though she tried to hide it. “I am fine, and I will be fine; please do not worry. But I still apologize for leaving you and everyone for so long. I never thought of such a length.” She knew very well that an apology did nothing, that she had no choice when she left. But she said them all the same. If only to make up for something, at least one of those four thousand years with her small apologies.
"Oh, Martel," Yuan said. "Don't apologize, please...none of this was your fault." He shook his head. "...We should never have done it, but...I wasn't thinking clearly. There's no excuse, though." There was no excuse for the things he'd done, all in the name of having her back...and now that he'd renounced them, renounced even the thought of trying to return her to life as an abomination...here she was before him. If there was such a thing as fate, it clearly hated him. "You couldn't have known any of this would happen."
He was right, there really was no way for her to know of what was to come. Nothing like this had ever crossed her mind before. But all the same, she couldn’t help but feel responsible. She nodded slowly, listening to him carefully. She wanted to apologize again but somehow managed to refrain herself from doing so. “Yuan…” She began in a more comforting voice, she knew the stress she must have been putting onto him. He could feel a guilt as well and it was clear to her now. “Why for so long?” She asked with more curiosity than guilt or sadness. It simply seemed so long to her. What could have possibly made them fight and live for so long? Such a thing was the largest aspect that baffled her.
Yuan closed his eyes. Another question, another that he wished he could avoid answering. "Trying to revive you," he replied quietly. "Mithos...we all wanted...to bring you back, knowing that your soul had been caught in your Cruxis Crystal..." And now the truly dreadful questions would come, the questions that would reveal his part in the abomination that they had perpetrated on an unsuspecting society...
So much for the recovery Martel was trying to make. This; she was stunned by. “But now you know it is wrong, correct Yuan?” If her heart could sink, it was way passed ten thousand leagues under the sea. But somehow she had hope that they had learned from their errors. “Yuan.” She was trying to pick her words cautiously. “How can something like that even happen? It is wrong.” She sat in silence a moment longer, thinking. Now one of the hands on her lap was clenched from worry. She was horrified to hear how but she needed to know. If Yuan wasn’t forced to tell her like now then would he have even said a word to her? Ignorance can be bliss until someone tells the truth. “I am not…” She was trying to remedy at least part of the situation. What she said a moment ago seemed almost harsh. “I am not disappointed or mad, Yuan. I could never be with any of you. Not Mithos, you, or even Kratos. I am happy and grateful that all of you have tried so hard to bring me back, even if it was wrong. But… I am sorry Yuan but, this is something that I feel I should know, is it not?” Her attempt to make things easier on him was probably set to fail but she would never give up so easily. She didn’t want to ask these questions anymore than Yuan wanted to answer them, after all.
"Yes," he murmured. "Yes, you deserve to know, and yes, I know it's wrong. I, too was mad with grief for a time, but that's no excuse for..." He took a deep breath before answering her other question, feeling the dread curdling his stomach. "By...suppressing the soul of a person with a similar mana signature to yours, using a Cruxis Crystal, and...transferring your soul into their body." He didn't want to meet her eyes, didn't want to see the censure he was sure he'd find there, but he couldn't look away. "Martel, I'm sorry..." he whispered. "We were wrong, I was wrong to even consider it, let alone..." Let alone attempt it, let alone allow the attempts to continue for so long.
The Kharlan War, a massacre still fresh in Martel’s mind was an awful thing. So many had lost their lives and so many things were dying from the lack of mana within the world. Innocent lives, completely lost, innocent people mistreated and abused, the world that granted all those things life, destroyed by those it gave air to breathe. All of this was like yesterday to Martel, because it was yesterday. Her biggest hope was for the end of the war to come and for life to begin anew again. For no more people to suffer and die without a cause. For people to get along and help each other take care of the life that they were given. But her hopes seemed to only reach so far.
Suppressing a soul meant the one with that soul would die. Martel could figure such a thing out easily. Had they all truly been that hurt by her loss that they chose to kill countless innocent people to bring her back? Putting it like that sounded harsh, yes, but it was the truth in the end. Martel waited for Yuan to finish everything he had to say. She couldn’t even think of a response. But she wouldn’t be mad at him nor could she hold it against him. They had all been grieved with her loss and didn’t know better. Yes, that’s the conclusion Martel could come to with a bit more ease. It wasn’t really their fault. None of them would ever kill innocent people like that. They were all good at heart. Mithos, her kind and caring younger brother, he would never harm anything for such a cause. They were simply confused… for four thousand years. Seemed logical enough, right?
“You know now, correct Yuan? You understand why it was wrong, right Yuan?” She was begging for reassurance. She tilted her head and tried to look at him. “Yuan…” She wanted his honest consent, she wanted that answer more than the others. She was scared, no, terrified to hear a no or not an answer at all. “Yuan, promise me you will not try such things again. I can not come back, I should not even be here. It is all wrong.” She placed one hand by her side nearest to him. It was probably the closest she would ever get, less she pop a personal bubble of sort. She didn’t want to ask anything else, she probably couldn’t handle anything else. If it wasn’t for her stubborn optimism she would have given into a drama something fierce. “Yuan?” She needed him to agree, to look at her face to face and promise her. By now, hopefully she had made it clear she felt no negativity towards him or the others. It was simply not their fault.
"Of course," Yuan replied almost instantly. "Of course I do, Martel. I promise you, I'll never try such a thing again. I...I know better, now, I know that you would never have wanted so many innocents sacrificed in your name..." He could see how she was struggling under this burden of knowledge, and it hurt, it hurt to know what he'd done to her... "I'm so sorry," he whispered again. "I...I've been...trying to stop Mithos. He's taken control, but I've been working secretly to end the organization we started to support our scheme. I-I know it's not enough to make up for what we've done, but..." Nothing could ever be enough to erase the hurt in those eyes, the pain of knowing that it was his fault she was so shocked and dismayed.
It was pretty clear from just his tone he had learned his lesson but Martel shook her head at his whisper. “No, Yuan. Do not apologize to me. Apologize to those who lost their lives because of this.” But despite that the words about her brother bothered her. “Mithos was young, he did not understand then. He…” All of this was very hard to swallow. More than half of her didn’t want to even imagine such a thing from those she trusted and cared for. “Please, you must not harm Mithos, Yuan. He simply does not understand. Mithos would never harm anyone, he would never do this. He is only confused.” Things seemed to be falling apart right in front of her, or as she heard them. But Martel could do nothing about it but listen and cringe at such ideas and ignore others.
"They can't hear me anymore," Yuan replied simply, his gaze bleak. "You can." He shook his head, looking away as memories of the things Mithos had done over the years filled his mind. "...He's changed," he murmured. "We all have. Four thousand years is a long time... He calls himself Lord Yggdrasill now."
“I am sure they can hear you, and they will be thankful for your apology. They will understand, too.” She gave him a small and rather short lived smile. She certainly wouldn’t give up her cheer that easily and what she said was true, to her at least.
Change was inevitable. Well, except physical change, apparently. But Martel was well aware of such a thing. Change has to happen in order for life to continue otherwise all is pretty much doomed. However, the Lord aspect confused Martel, though it wasn’t as if her confusion was a new concept. “All things change.” She nodded in agreement. “But why would he call himself Lord?” She asked, trying not to sound too overwhelmingly confused.
"Because that's what he is," Yuan told her. "In order to find a vessel that would match your mana signature, he set up a vast organization which holds sway over the two worlds." He knew it would hurt her to hear it, knew it was already hurting her, but he also knew that allowing her to believe in lies would be doing Martel a disservice.
Martel gave Yuan a nod, being understanding was luckily her strong point. “Is that why he did not allow the seed to grow?” Her voice sounded a little hurt by it. From what she knew before her death was that the seed had to grow or it would die and the mana in the world along with it. “Mithos…” Martel whispered very faintly to herself. Now, more than ever, she wanted to see her little brother again. To speak with him and get him to understand why and where things were wrong. He would listen to her, she was sure of it. Martel was more than convinced she could get him to understand.
"He wouldn't allow the seed to grow because your soul, caught inside your Cruxis Crystal, was bound to it," Yuan replied unhappily. "If it were allowed to sprout, it would have absorbed you...but in turn, in being revived your soul would have absorbed the Seed itself. That's...when I learned that, that was when I realized he had to be stopped." That was when he'd realized how horrified Martel would have been at what they'd done...when he knew he would have to sacrifice her life in the name of saving the world.
Surprisingly enough Martel gave Yuan a smile. Her optimism would never fail her. “Thank you, Yuan; for wanting my return and understanding what your errors were in the end. I am happy for both.” In a way it was nice to hear that they all wanted her to stay with them so badly. But the world was much more important than her life. Martel knew it probably took Yuan a great deal of effort to finally see that truth. She was truly proud of him. “I am glad that you have accepted my passing, it is very hard for one to do that. I am only saddened that I am here now; ruining your understanding.” Finally her smile died down, but only for a moment. “I promise to stay with all of you, even when I am completely gone. I will never leave any of you alone. Remember that for me, Yuan. Will you?” A small smile returned to her expression.
"I will," he responded firmly. It was so terribly true, too...one way or another, even after four thousand years, Martel's memory still haunted them all, and now...now she was here, and smiling and forgiving him, and he didn't know what to think about that. He didn't know what to feel about that.
“Then I am happy.” She closed her eyes, satisfied and more calm than she had ever been since her arrival. The truth that Yuan spoke of still bothered her greatly but for now she would be at peace; for his sake. She gave him one last smile then stood from her seat, retrieving her staff from where she had leaned it to rest. “May we speak later as well?” She was a little hesitant on the idea, herself. If Yuan had only just began understanding and accepting her death then was it really a good idea for them to see each other? She was dead, her time was up. All of the air she was breathing and the time they were spending together was wrong and unnatural. Something that shouldn’t be. But she wanted to see him all the same. What a predicament.
Yuan nodded. "Of course," he replied. "I could hardly ignore your presence, now that you're here...that wouldn't be fair to you at all." It wasn't fair to him that she was here, but that wasn't her fault. She didn't deserve to be punished for it.
That response worried Martel. Fair or not it was better if they probably didn’t speak, that Yuan didn’t know she was there. Though that thought was a little late now. But she nodded with a smile and a “Thank you.” If worse came to worse she could distance herself from him, she hoped.