(Untitled)

[anewlingo]

Who: Selphie and Squall
What: Taking a walk and probably some moping :/
When: After this.
Where: Around... outside!
Rating: PG... ish? Maybe?

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[hadtoleave]

It's a fact of life, Squall kept reminding himself. He had known it was going to happen sooner or later. The best thing to do was to really accept it and move on. No amount of dwelling on it would ever change anything.

He couldn't think about how he had maybe sort of enjoyed their Triple Triad matches… or going to the city's pet shop… or walking or just whatever. He couldn't think about maybe having Laguna around wasn't horrible and maybe everyone was right and he should hang out with him more often. That maybe, once in a blue moon, Laguna wasn't so bad even if he had forgotten Ellone.

It wasn't as if Squall could hold that against him. Squall had forgotten people, too.

One of them currently at the door.

Squall got up from his desk and went to the door, briefly hesitating before opening it. He stared at her, wondering if she was going to try to hug him.

He wondered if he'd stop her. Stupid, he thought and said, "Hey."

[anewlingo]

The idea of giving Squall a hug did cross Selphie's mind--that was what was expected with most people. When someone loses someone, you console them and try to be comforting, a shoulder they can lean on and so on and so forth. But again, that was most people, and Selphie took a moment to remember that Squall would probably appreciate it more if she didn't make a huge deal out of this, so she stayed at the door.

"Hey," Selphie greeted, hands behind her back and smiling, though not broadly. "You ready?" She motioned to the hallway.

She had also thought about bringing Pickle, but a walk without the yapping of puppies was probably best. And, if by some horrible mistake, she and Squall started fighting again? She didn't want to accidentally scare the dogs.

[hadtoleave]

Squall stepped back and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. Slipping it on, he nodded for her to go on and he shut the door behind him as he followed. He was glad they weren't taking the puppies. Besides, Patch had his earlier-before Squall had found out Laguna was gone.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, following Selphie and trying to figure out the real purpose of the walk. Did she expect him to talk about Laguna; his feelings on that? Or were they going to do it in complete silence? It was a little like someone dying, wasn't it? Even if Laguna came back, he wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't remember being here before.

…How does she feel about it? Squall glanced at Selphie once they were in the elevator. She seemed all right. Should he ask? Would that open the floodgates? But Rinoa had left and

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Selphie unconsciously mirrored Squall, her hands balled in the pockets of her shorts. There was no real way to bring up the topic of Laguna without gambling with Squall's temper. She really didn't want to fight with him, not today. So the walk to the outside world was spent in quiet thought, her teeth sometimes biting into her bottom lip.

"You said not to push you, so I'm not," She said once they were starting on the path around the castle, "But..."

But what? Selphie scratched the side of her head, giving Squall a briefly confused look. She didn't like it when he tried to hide things, and that made her push. "And I remember what you said when Rinoa went back, so..."

She got it. "I know it's kinda annoying when people say that they understand, but I think I kind of do?"

[hadtoleave]

Squall was quiet for a while, his steps slow and measured, almost to the point of lagging. It was true that she wasn't really pushing. He knew she could have come over to demand him to open up. She could demand that he stop beating around the bush already and tell her how he felt. She could tell him he wasn't alone and everyone felt the same way. It was still irritating, going out for a walk like this and knowing that they were going to talk about the last thing he wanted. But…

She'd put it pretty well. And he was grateful. She could have decided to leave him completely alone and-if he was completely honest with himself-deep down the actual last thing he wanted was to be alone.

"…how so?" he muttered. He glanced at her again, quickly-and just as quickly looked away, his shoulders stiffening as he focused intently on the path ahead of them. He knew he shouldn't have to ask only by excuse but it was there and he was going to take it.

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Noticing how Squall had slowed down, Selphie turned around, yet kept walking, carefully stepping so that she didn't trip over her own two feet or something else.

"How so?" Selphie echoed, surprised at the question as well as the lack of the annoyance she was almost expecting. "It freaks me out. I mean, there's no warning before someone disappears, and it's really random. Laguna was here for a month and then..." she frowned, stumbling a little in her steps. "You'd think that one of us would have gone back, too, since we've been here for... what, almost a year? It's hard to explain!"

She went quiet, thinking to herself. "I guess I understand that the whole uncertainty of everything can be kind of scary, especially when we're helpless."

She hoped she wasn't completely off target, and grinned sheepishly. Oops?

[hadtoleave]

Freaks you out, huh…? Squall mulled over her response. I thought he'd be here for a while, like us, like Seifer… I… I wanted him to be. He curled his hands into fists in his pockets, his brow furrowing as he scowled. I thought that maybe… Maybe it would work. It wasn't like we hung out all the time. But he was okay. And when he got shot-

He cut off that thought. Going down that road was dangerous.

"Yeah," he admitted shortly. He started to walk a little quicker, schooling his expression into its usual indifference. It was harder than he expected.

She says she's not going anywhere but how does she know? Laguna would have said the same thing. So what if next time, it's her? …What if it's Seifer? This… this is why…

He swallowed, fighting the urge to tell Selphie to take it back. It was like she promised and promises didn't mean anything here. Like… Rinoa? Damn it! He came to a halt and stared at the ground, his shoulders hunching over. He clenched his fists tighter. I'm not going to think about this. Keep

[anewlingo]

Again, Selphie stumbled slightly when Squall began to walk faster. She was still worried, and his one worded reply didn't help soothe her concerns. Spinning around and regaining her balance, Selphie stopped dead in her tracks.

Uh oh. Definitely not a good sign.

"Hey hey hey," Selphie said, standing next to Squall and peering up at him. Darn it, these were one of those moments when you were supposed to hug the other person. "You okay? Squall?"

Probably a stupid question given his posture, but she didn't know what to do.

[hadtoleave]

Deep breaths. Squall slowly started to walk again, keeping his eyes on the ground. The next step was to straighten his shoulders. After that…

"Fine," he said tightly. Maybe it was a lie but it wouldn't be one for much longer. He refused to let this make him lose control. Again. This kept happening, and nothing would change. That was another price of living here.

He lifted his gaze, barely keeping himself from looking at her. He wanted to snap but that would lead to a fight, which wouldn't solve anything either. The past two made it clear that wasn't going to drive her away. It only hurt her and he didn't want do that.

Besides, he was used to this, wasn't he? Ellone had been taken away, too, all those years ago.

"…He missed Kiros and Ward anyway," he remarked offhandedly.

[anewlingo]

Reflex response. Selphie sighed quietly, not wanting to huff and say as much. Selphie walked alongside him, glancing up at him every now and then.

"I'm glad you were able to get along with him while he was here," Selphie tugged at a lose thread on the sleeve of her shirt. "He was really happy to spend time with you. So I think some good came out of it, even if he's gone now. I don't know if we'll remember this if--when we go back, but if he does, I'm certain he has a lot of good memories."

... aside from the getting shot thing. She cleared her throat, wondering if she said too much, and shrugged. "Yeah. He's safer at home, too. Just like Rinoa."