[ Can smell her all over the page--he's a creep. If she doesn't want to talk to him... he's ok with that, but he at least wants to make sure you're all right. ]
[ He takes Bella into his arms, and places her into the bed, before wrapping holding her close. He knows how hard she's trying to be strong, and how bad she's trying to to panic. ]
It's not your fault, Bella. You can't blame yourself for this.
[She wants to be strong but as soon as he's holding her and she can just feel him, she bursts in to tears. She wanted to be strong, she really did! It just isn't working.]
Her name is Renee. She was always so concerned about you... you always complained about that. She'd ask you a lot of questions... [ A small pause, and then he kisses her forehead, because he knows the next part is going to break her heart. ] She loves you so much, Bella. She always wanted what was best for you... even if that meant you moving away to Forks.
[And that part makes her sob out loud, crying again because she can't help it this time, clinging to him impossibly.] I m, miss her so m, much and I don't even know her.
Because it's true! I hardly spend time with you and you always make an effort to see me. And I'm always around Jake and other people instead. And I know it's not fair but I'm- [There's hesitation but she just barrels through it.] I'm scared. I'm always scared all the time. [And the tears are almost starting again.] I'm scared that if I love you like I did before and spend time with you like I did in our world that you'll [leave] be taken away. What am I supposed to do if you disappear from my life a second time? [Oh Bella, always worrying.] I die when you're not with me and I'm being stupid about this. Because I should spend as much time with you as possible before one of us leaves and instead I'm avoiding you so that it hurts less, even though I know it'll hurt just the same if not more.
[She takes a deep breath, releasing it shakily, reaching up to wipe her tears away with a pout.] And now you're letting me ramble.
[ It hurts, because he knows what he did hurt her immensely, and there's absolutely nothing he can do... he deserves this punishment. He deserves her not wanting to be around him, or her being scared of him. ]
If I could take it all away... Make everything what I did back, I would, but I can't, Bella. I made a mistake, and I have to live with the consequences. If that means you avoiding me, or spending more time with Jacob Black, then so be it. I deserve whatever it is you have to give.
[And she huffs quietly before smacking his shoulder, not very hard since it would probably hurt her hand too much to do so.]
Stop that. I know why you did what you did and I love you so much for thinking that you were doing what was best for me. [A pause.] Despite the fact you were completely, entirely, hopelessly wrong about it. [She closes her eyes for a moment, leans closer and breathes, his scent calming to her and his presence so normal that it's like being home again. That train of thought sparks an idea.] All right. I have a solution. [A brief pause, not even enough for him to ask what.] Once the castle goes back to normal, I'm moving in with you. And no, you don't get a say in this.
Bella? Are you all right?
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Edward. [A pause as she takes a really deep breath.] I'm sorry. I'm f, fine.
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Tell me what's wrong.
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I can't remember my mom. I don't remember her at all.
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It's not your fault, Bella. You can't blame yourself for this.
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What am I supposed to do?
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If you want, I can tell you about her... from what you told me, and from what I've seen.
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Yes please.
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It's all right, Bella...
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I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. [She pauses, tries to breathe.] I've been the worst girlfriend ever.
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Why would you say something like that, you silly girl?
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[She takes a deep breath, releasing it shakily, reaching up to wipe her tears away with a pout.] And now you're letting me ramble.
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If I could take it all away... Make everything what I did back, I would, but I can't, Bella. I made a mistake, and I have to live with the consequences. If that means you avoiding me, or spending more time with Jacob Black, then so be it. I deserve whatever it is you have to give.
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Stop that. I know why you did what you did and I love you so much for thinking that you were doing what was best for me. [A pause.] Despite the fact you were completely, entirely, hopelessly wrong about it. [She closes her eyes for a moment, leans closer and breathes, his scent calming to her and his presence so normal that it's like being home again. That train of thought sparks an idea.] All right. I have a solution. [A brief pause, not even enough for him to ask what.] Once the castle goes back to normal, I'm moving in with you. And no, you don't get a say in this.
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