(no subject)
(PRIVATE)
I don't remember her. Not at all. [She's quiet, just the sound of breathing as she tries to remember, fails, tries again. It's just not coming to her.] I've been trying really hard ever since I got here. I know she's my loss but I- [Her voice falters for a moment.] I thought that maybe if I thought hard enough, dug deep enough, I might remember her, since losses change some times. I thought I might remember the color of her hair, the way she said my name, what Phoenix was like with her and Phil. If we got along or had the same understanding Charlie and I do.
[Bella hates her emotions because they always force themselves upon her, just like now, the tears coming before she can stop them.] I don't remember if she wore perfume or if she used my full name when she was mad like parents do. I don't remember my birthdays with her. I don't even remember her name. [Her voice is watery, full of tears.] I can't remember my own mom. I don't know what she looks like or sounds like or smells like. I don't remember anything about her. [She wants to throw the journal away and ignore it. Maybe lock herself in her room for a while. Her roommate has been so nice to her since the move and forced living situations started but she doesn't exactly want him to see her crying. A stranger. So she reaches for what is most familiar in these situations.]
(JAKE)
[Oh Jake, with you in all your Bella-knowing-ness. You can hear it in her voice, the fact that she's been crying. Just don't jump to conclusions! Even though she sniffles a bit before speaking.]
So just how busy are you right now?
[OOC: JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK, so I'll tag once I have a few hours of sleep under my belt! ♥]
I don't remember her. Not at all. [She's quiet, just the sound of breathing as she tries to remember, fails, tries again. It's just not coming to her.] I've been trying really hard ever since I got here. I know she's my loss but I- [Her voice falters for a moment.] I thought that maybe if I thought hard enough, dug deep enough, I might remember her, since losses change some times. I thought I might remember the color of her hair, the way she said my name, what Phoenix was like with her and Phil. If we got along or had the same understanding Charlie and I do.
[Bella hates her emotions because they always force themselves upon her, just like now, the tears coming before she can stop them.] I don't remember if she wore perfume or if she used my full name when she was mad like parents do. I don't remember my birthdays with her. I don't even remember her name. [Her voice is watery, full of tears.] I can't remember my own mom. I don't know what she looks like or sounds like or smells like. I don't remember anything about her. [She wants to throw the journal away and ignore it. Maybe lock herself in her room for a while. Her roommate has been so nice to her since the move and forced living situations started but she doesn't exactly want him to see her crying. A stranger. So she reaches for what is most familiar in these situations.]
(JAKE)
[Oh Jake, with you in all your Bella-knowing-ness. You can hear it in her voice, the fact that she's been crying. Just don't jump to conclusions! Even though she sniffles a bit before speaking.]
So just how busy are you right now?
[OOC: JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK, so I'll tag once I have a few hours of sleep under my belt! ♥]