Final Fantasy I

[beninca]

[ There's always a poignant sort of feeling when Kefka shows up; maybe it's dread, maybe it's terror, or maybe it's just the feeling that someone's about to bother you to great extents by just being really irritating. A broad spectrum of negativity, ranging from mild annoyance to oshit it's him. He sat up within the center of the floor in the main

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[exanimatus]

[meanwhile, Zelman's sitting on a nearby couch, reading an impressively large (but probably boring) novel. he doesn't even... bother to look up... at the crazy person in the center of the room.]

You might want to rethink the "deserted" part of your plan, Newbie.

1/2

[beninca]

What can I say?

The cynic in me told me there were people here.

The optimist in me told me there might be a chance there wasn't.

2/2

[beninca]

...and the demented sociopath in me is wondering how long it'll take to remedy this little infestation you all have going on here.

[exanimatus]

That's a strange thing to admit freely.

[beninca]

Alright, cut the idle banter. I want answers kid.

Who are you and what the hell am I doing here?

[exanimatus]

["kid"? he finally looks up over the top of his book.]

Would you like the long version or the short version?

[beninca]

Long version.

[A chair nearby slides over to Kefka by itself, which he sits himself upon.]

I'm all ears.

[exanimatus]

[well, that's a cool trick. Zelman isn't nearly as perturbed by the scary looking clown guy than he should be, all things considered.

...besides, he sounds kind of familiar.]

What you're doing here is essentially a giant mystery--you've been 'kidnapped', for lack of a better term, from your own reality and deposited into this one by a mysterious force no one understands. People tend to either assume to shorthand it to being the castle's fault. Everyone who lives in here, and a few people out in town, have been brought here in much the same way.

It's debated as to whether or not Paradisa only wants people to use as playthings, or if we are here for another, more intricate purpose. Either way, there's no way out unless it decides it's done with you, and then you're shipped back to your own reality like nothing happened.

The world occasionally changes, you lose something important when you get here, and the kitchen is on the first floor. [...] Questions?

[beninca]

...

A sentient, malevolent castle has kidnapped me for it's own amusement...and people call me crazy! Uwee hee hee!

But hey, I'm willing to play nice for now and act like I believe you.

[Procures his journal from the ground, holding it in front of him towards Zelman.]

So what's this for?

[exanimatus]

You don't have to believe me. Maybe you can come up with a better reason this is all happening.

[but he severely doubts it.] That's to talk to people. Everyone brought to Cair Paradisa gets one. Don't leave it open if you don't feel like broadcasting everything to everyone.

[beninca]

Oh, so I can talk to people? Right, right, cause that's exactly what I want to spend my precious time doing.

Chatting with a bunch of inbred degenerates.

I don't believe this! You honestly expect me to think some stupid high and mighty castle has the nerve, nay, the ABILITY, to keep me here? ME!?

I'm Kefka Palazzo, the god of freakin' magic for crying out loud! I'll be out of here in a day tops, just you wait n' see. Then when I can come and go as I please I'll just wipe you all out and set up shop here. Wreck a few multiverses while I'm at it.

[exanimatus]

I wish you the best of luck, newbie, but I think you'll be eating your words when twenty-four hours roll around. [he looks back down at the pages of his book, unperturbed.]