♒ Eridan: Make dramatic entrance.

Mar 26, 2011 18:54

[Dearest denizens of Paradisa: the following appetizing image has just been splashed all over a page of your journal.]

CUT FOR DIRTY DIRTY THINGS )

eridan ampora

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forevverabalone March 27 2011, 02:04:42 UTC
[You are the detective John it is you.

Meanwhile have a pause in return followed by a really rather impressive squawk and a flurry of cloth noises oh and also a THUD.]

WWWHAT
wwhered you come from dont fuckin startle a fella like that god dammit
not that i didnt hear you comin i just didnt expect a fullout greetin from a fuckin stalker all right

wwhere are you anyhoww

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1/2 forevverabalone March 27 2011, 02:15:59 UTC
dont be ridiculous wwhod get hooked by a tale like a talkin journa

[Wait what is that. From where he has expertly fallen on his tush, you can hear Eridan slithering closer in.

Pregnant pause.]

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dictated; /slides in here like a boss erbtochter March 27 2011, 01:58:25 UTC
Oh for the love of-!

[Her voice rises, high and irritated.]

I was reading you idiot! Gott, couldn't you have made your stupid declaration without stomping all over the stupid book?!

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\8)/ forevverabalone March 27 2011, 02:27:37 UTC
[By this point he's discovered the journal and its magical ridiculous talking properties.

The sudden shrill voice doesn't fail to make him jump, though.]

hopy fuck wwould you keep it dowwn im right fuckin here
wwhoevver you evven are i havvent evven got any business wwith your harpy self i merely found the journal wwith my foot is all deal ww it
anywway wwhy are you readin this abomination its plainly some kind a cursed book or else a setup from the wwitch to trap unsuspectin logical folk goin about their honest businesses

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:3c erbtochter March 27 2011, 03:15:01 UTC
Ugh, what is with that accent..?

Look, idiot- it's not a trap. It's a book. Granted, it's a book that records what you're saying for the entire rest of the castle to read, but a book nonetheless. And I wouldn't sound like a harpy if you hadn't stepped on the journal and gotten your shoe-print all over it. Rude much?

[She lets out a huff and adds-]

And just so you know- you just announced all of whatever that idiocy you were going on about to a whole lot of people, and I don't think some of them are going to be all that happy with your volume.

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forevverabalone March 27 2011, 08:01:36 UTC
youvve got a problem wwith my awwesome an unique accent come out and say it proper instead a mumblin like a two-swweep wwiggler
if youre goin to be a harpy least you can do is be a proper one and not bail halfwway and then start dictatin manners after shrillin at a purely innocuous misstep
wwhy wwould i evven care wwhat some audience composed a you and a handful other meddlin glubbers think wwhen ivve got more important things wworth wworryin about
anywway if its a book for humiliatin me in my hour a confession its doin a halfwway decent job but that also tells me its real purpose
its a trap theres no twwo wways about it

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Dictated forever mal_addict March 27 2011, 02:00:51 UTC
[Oh, she recognises trolls speak when she sees it, she's almost an expect]

Another one. I see you're one of the more charming of your kind.

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forevverabalone March 27 2011, 02:32:20 UTC
another wwhat
wwhat is it you think you knoww about me ivve got it on good authority so far its likely plumb out and out wwrong
and yeah i mean ivve got a certain aura but its not addressed to you is it so try and help yourself a little wwoman
wwho are all a you anywway this wwasnt meant to be a spectacle it wwas serious business betwween serious rivvals

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mal_addict March 27 2011, 02:49:31 UTC
Troll. There's a few of you here.
I'd say you have a sliiiight attitude problem. But honestly, you still don't beat my army Sargent, so do carry on with your little rant.

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forevverabalone March 27 2011, 03:28:56 UTC
oh
wwell if youvve run into any a the others wwhatevver theyre evven doin here
you might havve a little bit of a idea wwhat youre dealin wwith but you dont knoww all of it by far
see im not just any old troll not evven the levvel a some army mook youre imaginin i wwas hatched only for the best
this isnt anythin so petty as attitude its the true and genuine demeanor a wwhat wwould a been a legendary conqueror dowwn in history except fate had other plans i guess
doesnt make it any less true

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1/2 thiefoflight March 27 2011, 02:04:44 UTC
[Oh shit. She's a spider right now.

Well, if she was available to talk, Vriska would likely ask what your deal is right now, Eridan.

You know. If she CARED, that is.]

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HAHA 2/2 furriendly March 27 2011, 02:08:13 UTC
[But you know who does care? Nepeta, that's who!

Actually, she only cares because a certain Mr. Ampurra is not exactly on her list of friends at the moment. So when she comes by as a green little cat (with a certain blue spider on her back, no less) she doesn't exactly want to greet him warmly by rubbing against his legs or anything.

No, instead she begins to hiss angrily at him.

HISSSSSSSS. Look, hanging around Vriska made her hiss in eights, man.]

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bluh bluh im fallin dowwn all this failure forevverabalone March 27 2011, 02:46:49 UTC
[Eridan has SO LITTLE USE FOR SPIDERS, you don't even know.

By now he's pretty jumpy, though -- sudden talking journals, random unseen voyeurs over said journals, and too much light for a nocturnal body'll do that to ya.

The point of this ridiculous paragraph is that the small green cat makes him jump and start to back away before catching himself; maybe it's a good thing he can't speak cat.]

Fuck, evven the pawwbeasts are vvicious and settin' up ambushes -- ugh, wwhat do you wwant, stupidwwhiskers? I'm not a fuckin' fish, I havven't evven got near wwater lately so check your--

Noww you'vve got me talkin' to pawwbeasts, wwell-played, Pinkscarf.

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furriendly March 27 2011, 03:23:53 UTC
[Pinkscarf? Does he mean that Rose human? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Nepeta is still pretty angry with him, after what she's heard he's been up to from Karkat. Time to really show him a thing or two!

And by that, she is going to leap forward a bit and run her claws down the end of his ridiculous cape, shredding the end of it. Yeah, take that from the furry little kitty cat!]

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dictated; bogusmagic March 27 2011, 02:09:29 UTC
[Timeline... galaxy.... interdimension...

... fishstick?

Alright, she's going to focus on the thing that sticks out the most.]

.... 'Prince of Hope'?

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forevverabalone March 27 2011, 03:11:48 UTC
[He's a timetraveling fishstick, it'll all make sense in 100 chapters.]

jegus wwhere are all a you comin from that you dont knoww wwhat a bare bold title like that signifies
i mean if you wwere human i could cut you some line on account a bein naturalborn retarded but there cant only be humans here theres no wway right
anyhoww thats my title on account a bein meant to savve my race and other suchlike glorious things in my destiny

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bogusmagic March 27 2011, 03:26:09 UTC
[Fortunately time travel shenanigans are nothing new to her!]

'Race'?

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forevverabalone March 27 2011, 08:20:39 UTC
[OH GOOD at least somebody understands something. That's... something!]

do you not knoww wwhat the wword means i cant believve youre really that backwwards so im givvin you the benefit
my race is trolls but you havvent heard of it ill cut you some line there after all wwere the only ones remainin

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