δέλτα | Thunderhead approaching

[demonologist]

[Wesley's walking down the corridor of the castle. He's not really looking where he's going because he's reading entries in the journal and is also in a rather pre-occupied mood. His recent conversations with people have only served to remind him that he's out of step, mired in a past he can't completely escape from. The shadow of his misdeeds (as

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[beltbucklerebel]

[stepping back with a scowl] Hey, buddy... I'm not the one with my head in the clouds.

[Apparently, Angel dressed up in a suit. And a cocky belt buckle. And got older. Because that totally happens]

[demonologist]

[Wesley blinks at him, momentarily caught off guard.]

Angel?

[beltbucklerebel]

[a sigh] Another one of you... What'd this place do? Just up and kidnap your whole world?

[pulling out his badge] FBI. Special Agent Seeley Booth.

[demonologist]

[Wes almost winces at the word 'kidnap' coming out of the Angel look-alike's mouth.]

We didn't have any choice in the matter, I assure you. In fact, it would be better for all if I hadn't been pulled here with the others.

[He eyes the badge; it doesn't impress him at all.]

So, are you Special, Agent Booth? Because I've just about had it up to here with all talk of specialness, and champions, and heroes, and other such rot.

[beltbucklerebel]

Gee... I can't imagine why.

[he looks equally unimpressed as he pockets his badge] ...Don't they have charm schools in England? Because, I've got to say, every one of you I've met here could use some serious manners.

[demonologist]

And I suppose a crass American is going to teach me manners? [Wes snorts with cynical amusement.] That's rich. The French even call you lot rude. The bloody French!

[He doesn't know why he's feeling this way, but he's at the end of his rope and tired of feeling ashamed and worse than shit every time he looks at this man's face. He knows it's not Angel. But it's close enough that it doesn't really matter. He'd hoped to live long enough tell him his side of the sorry. Had hoped for forgiveness and understanding and in the end, Angel had instead tried to smother him while he'd lain helpless, unable to even call for help, in his hospital bed. And he'd wanted Wes to know it was him, not Angelus who was killing him. Angel would never forgive him. But maybe Wes wasn't sure if he could forgive him either.]

Piss off!

[beltbucklerebel]

From where I'm standing, I'm not the one who's coming off as crass, buddy.

...if this is the lot that Angel guy needs to deal with, I am glad that I'm not him. Lemme tell you.

[and, with a disgusted noise, he'll go to walk past Wes]

[demonologist]

[Wes spins around, grabbing at the man's sleeve to stop him.]

Don't walk away from me. Angel! Don't you turn your back on me! Not again!!

[He doesn't even register what he's saying. Just knows that he's tired of people abandoning him, shunning him.]

[beltbucklerebel]

Woah! [instantly tense, he carefully pulls his arm free from Wes's grip, his mocking tone disappearing as its replaced by something more serious]

Ooo-kay. Let's just take a deep breath, alright?

[demonologist]

[Wes just stares at Booth, while not really seeing him. Then he covers his mouth with his hand to stifle the strangled sort of sob threatening to escape him. How can he apologise for his actions? They're unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable.]

I took your son away.

[beltbucklerebel]

[there's a wave of cold panic that he can't completely control. Muscles tightening as he clenches his jaw, the rest of his body instantly still, he's trying to make sense of this.]

My son.

[not his son. Angel's son. The man was confused. Except, with everything that's happened with the Gravedigger and Isis and this whole place in general... he's not sure he can be sure of that]

[coldly] You kidnapped someone's son?

[demonologist]

[Wes nodded dumbly, then pressed his hand to his forehead.]

I thought I was saving him. I really did. I wanted to protect him. And Holtz give me no choice. Said he would attack everyone if I didn't remove him...

[beltbucklerebel]

[it's not hard to tell that he's telling the truth. The despair comes off of Wes in waves... definitely the vibe of someone at the end of their rope, not a calculating manipulator.

But the thought of someone kidnapping Parker...whatever their intentions... makes it impossible for Booth to keep his tone completely neutral]

Lucky for you, Pal, there's not a hell of a lot I can do about that, here. [or maybe unlucky for him...Booth was pretty damned good at his job]

[demonologist]

[Wesley makes to grab Booth by the front of his shirt.] Don't you understand? I have to pay. I need to pay for what I've done. This- [He points to his throat scar.] -isn't enough. Angel should have finished the job. He should have made sure I never left the hospital. So that I wouldn't hurt anyone ever again.

[beltbucklerebel]

[taking a step back, he tries to untangle himself from Wes's grip as quickly as possible. He's trying not to pull his gun on the man, but he's seriously unhinged at the moment] If you're looking for someone to tell you you're wrong, I'm the wrong person.

[Watching Wes warily as he tries to put some distance between them] In fact? I'm the wrong person, all around. According to everyone and their mother, this Angel guy you all are going on about is here. Why don't you go and talk to him about this, alright?

[demonologist]

[Wes is being persistent. Eris' influence has muddied reality in his mind. In some ways he already thinks he's confessing to Angel. He grabs onto Booth's arm, his fingers clutching and digging into the man's sleeve.]

I thought...that if I could find you. Raise you up from the deep. Maybe then you could start to forgive me.