(no subject)
I couldn't handle life as a pop star under the public eye, so what makes me think I can handle being in the spotlight because I can jump off a ferris wheel and live to tell about it? Not that I really have this experience at home...
Wanting to not think about it makes it seem like it was wrong. I don't like thinking about what happened to Nathan, to Jackie, to my dad, because they're bad things. This, though... it's just another method of running away. Worrying about it here won't get me anywhere. I can't do anything here.
But telling myself to not think about it and to not worry about it just creates some self-fulfilling prophecy because what am I doing right now.
I'm back to being unsure about a lot of things, like what I can say, who to trust...
Not a nice place to be.
[there's a long gap of silence here before she filters]
[Abel]
Hi.