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[hammerismywhat]

[Captain Hammer, after a run-in with Bellatrix Lestrange, is now lying prone on the ground in the hallway on the second floor. His journal had fallen out and open and under his face, and so he can hear the dictated entries, and everyone else gets to experience his Superdrool. All he can move are his eyes, and, barring any magical intervention, will

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[someoneto_carry]

[She was walking down, heading down to the kitchen when she sees him. Stops.]

Sir?

[hammerismywhat]

[This is not the time to be seen by a pretty lady ...]

[*puppy eyes*]

[someoneto_carry]

[A long pause as she staaares at him]

Sir? What are you doing down there and...did you put on weight here already?

[hammerismywhat]

[Weight?! That's all muscle; wonderfully super natural muscle!]

[housewareshero]

[Ash is coming out of the kitchen with a large, somewhat messy and drippy sandwich, paying absolutely no attention to how much of it is dripping out onto the floor. sandwich in one hand, car repair manual in the other, he's tromping his way up the stairs and down the hall, and trips over the Hammer Throw Rug. the book goes flying, but he manages to save the sandwich before catching himself in a half-kneel on the floor next to him]

Whoa, hey, watch it, buddy. Catch a suntan somewhere else.

[as a glop of mayonnaise lands right between Hammer's eyes]

[hammerismywhat]

[Hm, I'm more of a Miracle Whip guy ...]

[He'd better clean that up, or I'll add him to my Villain Watch List for when I get over this .... thing ...]

[glare]

[housewareshero]

Hey. Hey, I'm talkin' to you, Human Doorstop. Anybody home?

[pokes his shoulder. with the "bad" hand, the metal one]

[hammerismywhat]

[A cyborg! He must definitely be evil ...]

[Rolls his eyes, which is about the most he can do at this moment]

[seeded_flame]

....

[prods his body with her foot]

[hammerismywhat]

[What am I, a soccer ball?]

[seeded_flame]

[yes :| looking down at him]

You look alive.

[hammerismywhat]

[Is alive, but not a soccer ball.]

[Have puppy dog eyes!]

[spongetastic]

Dammit, not another one. [kneels down to check his pulse, and...]

Mal?

[hammerismywhat]

[Mal? Is that short for something? Malady? Malaised?]

[Couldn't have been a woman-doctor, could it? nooooo, had to be a guy!]

[spongetastic]

[sorry, Captain, that's just your luck]

Can you hear me? Blink if you can hear me.

[hammerismywhat]

[Rolls eyes instead]

((ooc: If I'm remembering the spell correctly (also consulted the HPLexicon) he can't move anything but his eyes, so I don't think he can blink.))

[need_to_rule_it]

[Billy's skulking through the halls like some sort of crabby hunted animal...when he stops short at what is laying in the hallway]

Is th--...

[oh dear god seriously??]

[hammerismywhat]

[Never thought there was a bad time to run into this weakling until now ....]

[GLARE GLARE GLARE GLARE GLARE]

[need_to_rule_it]

[it took him a minute or so, a rabbit staring down a snake that might leap up and strike at any moment...but when it didn't, the shock and horror turned more towards tentative curiosity.

carefully, he circled around Hammer, staring in utter confusion.

....wtf.]

[hammerismywhat]

[Yeah, Wimpy, this is what greatness looks like ... on holiday ... keep moving]