i dont know, i hate subject lines. i never know what to say

[papiermachemade]

so its saturday. its my last day at home before i go back to school. i can feel the stress and pressure coming on already. i have so much to do when i get back. dammit. i have to say im slightly bummed to go back, mostly because of the work i have to do and also because i didnt do much of anything the entire time i was home. it was like i invaded

Comments

I'm sorry...

[itwasonlywords]

you know on tuesday I didnt end up going to jaime and alex's until nearly eleven and that was the time I had gotten done with my three essays and two freewrites for my english class and I didnt think that you would want to come over and do nothing at my house...
and I'm glad you make me out to be some fucking loser ass pothead who does nothing with my life because I dont live in boston and I live at home and I have to pay to go to a local university. I'm sorry I'm seen as such a fucking self-centered failure.
I'm sorry if I have to work to pay for my ass to get to school, to go to school, to pay for bills, to pay for food, and to pay for anything I may need...and I'm sorry that interfered with your being home... I didn't mean to make your break so fucking horrendous. I guess I don't have my priorities straight at all. I should be making everyone else happy...
sorry if I come off bitchy, but it just seems like I can't make anyone happy ever and when I think I am I'm told that I'm too caught up in myself and life and not focused on everyone else and what they want/need. I should spend more time making everyone else happy....and stop being such a skeavy stoner, eh?

Re: I'm sorry...

[papiermachemade]

i never made you out to be a loser pothead, i just said thats what you probably were doing. and i never said you do nothing with your life or that youre a complete fuck up. holly i admire you for all the sacrifices youve made to get anywhere. i know that these things are not easy for you. i understand that and im not holding it against you. when i wrote that i felt like i had been ditched and it kind of sucked since i really had no desire to be home and that the only thing i looked forward to during break was getting to hang out with you. perhaps i envy jaime and alex because theyre so lucky to get to see you as much as they do and its starting to get to me. never have i said that youre working and making your own way has gotten in the way of anything between us. when we did hang out we just watched tv at your house and that was great in my mind. holly i never care what we do because its just fun to be around you and thats enough for me. i wrote that entry before i had heard the whole story and that was a mistake and one that i am sorry for. i hope this explains everything. hope everything can be worked out.