(no subject)
i want to go home. my mom and i were talking the other day and she put it into words like no one else. this isnt my home anymore. shes right. my life isnt here anymore. its in boston. my whole world is there. i am a visitor in my own home. a stranger in this place. and im home sick as hell.
i wish i could rewind the clock and fix things with you. i wish so much that i could just have the luck to see you, face to face and tell you that i really am sorry. that i was out of line. that you didnt deserve that. but perhaps i dont deserve that chance. i will leave you to your life then. if it is meant that we are to not speak, i am truly sorry to find that our friendship has ended this way, and i feel horrible that it is my fault. i would tell you all of this, but i cant. good luck with everything, youve become a much stronger person in the last year and you should be proud of that. im still proud of you for all that you have done. take care.
hung out with cain the other day. i havent seen him since spring break. things arent weird anymore, we had a long talk about the fight during christmas break. the talk lead to other things as well. theres alot for me to think about now and im not sure where to go on it. i guess ill just wait and see what happens. he kept mentioning "us" and how funny that would be. he thinks i would kill him. hes not all that bad really. as long as he doesnt act like a shit things will go smoothly this summer. he makes me laugh. he always has. im just going to see what happens. the summer is long, and work begins next week. who knows what can happen from there.