Spent the years blaming my past on myself, forcing myself to believe that the memories I have are a string of lies I created. Is it a typical thing for people to ignore the past, or blame themselves for everything? I am the cause of the effect. The one who decided to destroy my chances of leading a “normal” life. Spent years convincing myself that ( Read more... )

ugly shirts. the separation of "unity." guitar strumming, people singing. momentary bliss distracted patches of death. having two lives pasted together with semi-dried glue. want-need-desire-love-regret-past-future. extreme parts of the religious/political spectrum sharing air. pain in stomach-heart-brain. burning mouth with tasteless bread. 9 ( Read more... )

memories that have a problem fading. how do i express what it is i'm missing when it can only be felt? senses have their limitations. inadequate. unnecessary. give me a negative perspective of a person and i can tell you how the string of words fit perfectly in my self portrait. metamorphosis. i can never truly change. i miss him. how long will ( Read more... )

i have made too many mistakes. errors shown in the form of scars. bad habits reforming. stomach ache. i either ate too little or too much. i'm not aware anymore since i've stopped counting calories. some things can always go back to the way they were. strings of incomplete or run-on sentences. my brain works like a two year old putting together a ( Read more... )

until the emotions disappear the words are harder to produce. can't find a way to explain the pain in my stomach. can't understand if it's purely physical or if something emotional is buried beneath it. family problems. currently no solution. i can't deal with those things that happened to me when i was young. bringing up what's happened with other ( Read more... )

melancholiabukowski ( Read more... )

It all started off so badly; a hope that fades, a need that lingers.

- the phone calls that didn't happen.

-the comfort i needed but didn't recieve.

and i ended up crying over a pair of shoes that were discarded without my knowledge ( last straw).

the result of a bad night: crawling under my bed, crying, and remembering the choice to pull the ( Read more... )

out of the arm of one love ( Read more... )

not following the plan makes me wonder if i'm doing things right; despite the fact that there isn't a right or wrong.. no specific paths to walk upon. no one else is looking down on me (that i care about) except for myself. and yet if anyone else was doing this, i would be fine with it, encouraging them, even a bit jealous of how brave they were ( Read more... )

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